Unconditional Love – Page 2

490. Can Changing One Belief Change Everything?

Mike Parsons

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“Do you want me to remove these pillars from your mind?” asked the Father.

I believe six of them were religious pillars, and three were cultural or scientific. It was then that I realised these pillars were framing how I viewed the world and understood reality around me.

The first and strongest pillar was evangelicalism. He removed that one first, shaking me to the core by taking it away. Every evangelical thought I had was challenged, especially the idea of penal substitutionary atonement, which was the first belief to be questioned. God didn’t just take the pillar out; he shook it, challenging my beliefs and creating instability in my belief system around those topics. And penal substitutionary atonement was the first to go.

363. Deconstructing the Pillars of Your Mind

299. PSA Sounds Nothing Like Jesus! (Penal Substitutionary Atonement [1])

250. Pillars In My Mind

304. Wrath is not the solution | Penal Substitutionary Atonement [2]

489. Nine Pillars That Shaped (And Shook) My Beliefs

Mike Parsons

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I’m not going to go far wrong if I interpret everything through love. I might get some minor things a bit mixed up or twisted, but the bottom line is that love won’t lead me too far astray if I lean that way. On the other hand, if I lean towards judgment, condemnation or other negative interpretations, I’m stepping beyond the scope of love.

I don’t go there any more.

It took a long time for my mind to be deprogrammed from my religious upbringing and the programming of evangelicalism, along with the other pillars of my thinking. He asked me if I wanted him to remove these pillars from my mind. About six of them were religious, as I was brought up very religiously, and three were cultural or scientific, influenced by an education that included cultural relativism and similar ideas.

443. Unconditional Love – NO RECORD OF WRONGS

363. Deconstructing the Pillars of Your Mind

488. Do You Only See What You Expect To See?

Mike Parsons

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All those people who say they have been in hell for ten minutes, or whatever, are framing their experience through their theological understanding of hell rather than the truth. They see what they expect to see. That is the problem. We can be confirmation-biased and create our own scenario around what God is really trying to show us.

This is why we need to let God renew our minds and trust him in that process, rather than resisting him. At the same time, we should not be naive enough to think that everything we are thinking is already correct, because we are all still in the process. Even so, I would rather err on the side of love in everything I think than lean towards anything else. If I interpret everything through love, I will not go far wrong.

243. Not Counting Their Trespasses

434. God’s Fiery Love

253. Framing Your Reality

487. My First Hand Experiences Of Hell

Mike Parsons

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So between 2005 and 2010, I had a number of experiences which I described at the time as hell-like, simply because I had no other reference point in my life. I thought I had encountered hell, and so my framework for understanding was the usual concept of hell. That’s what I believed the experience meant, because I couldn’t see it any other way; I had no other frame of reference.

Once I actually encountered God and encountered love, I was able to revisit those experiences and see what he had really been showing me through them. I came to realise that I had completely misunderstood and misinterpreted what had happened, just as many others do when they claim to have been in hell for a few minutes. They are framing their experience through their theological understanding of hell.

404. Framing Hell in a New Light

244. The Hell Delusion

486. Take It Back To The Father

Mike Parsons

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We should weigh both what we feel and what we believe God has said. Does this align with love? If it does, we can wholeheartedly accept it. If it does not, then something has gone wrong in how we’ve understood it. In that case, we can take it back to the Father and ask why we misinterpreted it, recognising that often it is our own mindset that causes misunderstanding.

I had to do that many times when my experiences did not line up with what I thought to be true. When that happened, cognitive dissonance arose, and I was left with a choice: which should I trust—my experience, or my belief system? Over time I came to see that when my experience was aligned with love, that was what I needed to trust. And when it was not aligned with love, it was usually my interpretation of the experience that was the real issue.

330. Find Truth Within: Trust Your Own Connection with God

421. Belief to Reality | Living in the Truth

485. Having Our Minds Renewed

Mike Parsons

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We’re all in a process of having our minds renewed so that we won’t be moulded and shaped by the upbringing, conditioning and programming we’ve received. Our minds are renewed so we’re not pressed into that mould, but instead transformed into who He said we were from the beginning.

That process is relational. By experiencing Him, our minds are changed. We can’t make it happen by trying to use the Bible as a tool, since misunderstanding it was what created the problem in the first place. Our minds are changed when we let Him do it, as we submit ourselves to the relationship He gives us—always weighing everything with love as our measuring stick.

287. Unconditional Love, Grace, and the truth about salvation

431. Breaking Free from Deceptive Teaching | Rediscovering God’s Love

484. Measure Everything Against Love

Mike Parsons

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We should weigh the things that we feel and what we think God has said. We should weigh them. We shouldn’t just accept them carte blanche. We should weigh it.

What do we weigh it with? How do we measure it? I measure it with love. Is this loving? Is this going to help people experience God and experience His love? So I’m measuring it against that.

So I know that if I thought God told me to do something which was contradictory to love, I know it couldn’t be Him. And people say, but you’re now saying that God can’t do something! Yes, I am. He can’t contradict Himself as being love, and he wouldn’t ask us to contradict himself and contradict what love is either.

So whenever something we think God said is not aligned to true love – true unconditional love – then we’ve got to question it.

431. Breaking Free from Deceptive Teaching | Rediscovering God’s Love

365. I Don’t ‘Believe’ In Unconditional Love

473. Why Do We Assume? | Questioning Our Beliefs and Practices

Mike Parsons

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We often make assumptions simply because we’ve never thought to question things, or even paused to ask, “Why am I doing this?” It’s so important to consider our motives. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t gather, worship, or take part in services—if that’s how they want to express themselves, that’s perfectly fine. But it’s worth asking ourselves and one another, “What’s at the heart of this? Why am I really doing it?”

A friend of mine, for instance, shared how God told her and her husband not to attend the Sunday meeting anymore. Her husband was delighted—he could use the time for other things—but she was horrified. Every time Sunday rolled around, she felt guilty for not going. It took her six months to work through that guilt. Guilt doesn’t come from God—it stemmed from her conditioning and an internalised mindset of what she thought she ‘should’ be doing. Once she processed those emotions, she found incredible freedom and began enjoying life outside of that obligation. She also found that her relationships changed: there were genuine friends who stuck by her whatever she did, and ‘church friends’ who were only present if she attended church. Real friends are those who stand by you through thick and thin, not just casual acquaintances from shared routines.

Whenever we feel compelled or would feel bad for not doing something, it’s worth asking ourselves: why? What is driving that feeling—guilt, compulsion, or freedom? God never wants us to be in bondage to something because we’ve assumed He desires it when it may not be His intent at all. Asking “Why am I doing this?” is always helpful, and I’ve had to do this myself many times. God has nudged me out of many such patterns. For example, a few years ago—around 2022—He told me to stop doing my annual Vision Destiny teaching series. The idea was that people should discover their own destinies with God and engage in their own conversations with Him, rather than relying on mine.

I realised that, even after stopping public teaching, I was still journaling out of habit. When I asked whether God wanted me to continue, He made it clear that it was up to me—He didn’t require it as a condition for our relationship. It was freeing to realise that my sense of duty was self-imposed, not divinely required. Eventually, I let go of journaling, and even changed how I approached my time with God in the mornings.

This shift wasn’t about having a better or worse relationship with God, just a different one. I learned that intimacy and union with God doesn’t depend on set routines or religious disciplines; it can be experienced just as deeply in everyday life, in the garden, the workshop, or wherever I am. Sometimes that connection comes through a conversation with God, but just as often it’s a felt sense of His presence throughout the day.

Since embracing this freedom and releasing the conditions I thought were required, my experience of God’s unconditional love has grown so much deeper. I realised that the expectations I thought God had of me were really just conditions I’d placed on myself. As I allowed those to fall away, I became freer, more connected, and filled with joy in everyday life, knowing that God’s love is unconditional and not dependent on any ritual or discipline.

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All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

307. God’s Unconditional Love For You

FREE – 2020 Vision Destiny

442. Unconditional Love – NO GUILT, NO SHAME

472. The Cost of Shortcuts | Understanding Negative Trading

Mike Parsons

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The cost of shortcuts

If I look at my life personally and reflect on where I have exchanged one thing for another, often these ‘shortcuts’ are presented as opportunities, but there is always a cost involved.

[Questioner: “This question came from your book, Unconditional Love.”]

All Mike’s books, including Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.

More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

Lucifer traded his heavenly position

Before the fall of the world, Lucifer fell from his position as an angel of light and music bearer of heaven. This fall arose from “I will” statements: “I will ascend,” “I will be like God.” His jealousy stemmed from his understanding of man’s role in creation, particularly as sons of God. He left his appointed role, which was to help mankind ascend. Having walked in the fire of God and the garden of God, he knew his purpose was to reflect God’s glory to mankind. Yet he chose a different path. In effect, he traded his heavenly position for a false aspiration of ascent—resulting in his fall into darkness and deception, losing his rightful role concerning mankind.

When considering trading or exchanging things, I focus on the positive side. Trading can happen in a covenant relationship, such as our covenant with God, where “what is His is ours, and what is ours is His.” If I give myself to God, I receive from Him. However, the negative side appears when we accept shortcuts that lead to harmful consequences. There is always a cost to taking a shortcut, in relationship with God.

One example is when Lucifer tempted Jesus in the wilderness: “You can be above all these things if you bow down to me.” That was a shortcut—a trade for a deceptive, false position that would have cost Jesus His true position and authority. Thankfully, Jesus resisted temptation in a way Eve did not, by quoting God, His Father.

The true cost is hidden

We all have weaknesses and needs in life where trades might function—these are not just spiritual but practical. For example, intimacy is a core human need. Pornography can become a substitute, a shortcut that results in addiction and loss of genuine intimacy. The same dynamic applies to finances, power, or position—“I will give you this if you pay this cost.” Often, the true cost is hidden beneath deception.

I recall early in my ministry when I helped plant a church. The main leader took advantage of my desire to serve full-time and got me to do all sorts of his dirty work. Looking back, I realise I traded my integrity and position for his approval and the prestige of that role. Though it was 30 years ago, I regret doing some of those things—not necessarily bad things, just things he didn’t want to do. I took on roles that weren’t mine, and it ultimately diminished my own value and worth.

There are many such trading floors that people fall into when they don’t know or aren’t secure in their true identity. The enemy exploits our insecurities and needs to trap us in behaviours that contradict who we really are. If you know who you are, you won’t fall for such traps.

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422. From Rejection to Acceptance | Understanding Your Identity in Christ

171. Information for Elevation – Trading (1)

88. The Fall of Lucifer, the Light-Bearer

470. Beyond the Norm: Finding Joy Outside the System

Mike Parsons

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Christians can’t have fun?

We can find ourselves really constrained within certain systems and among people who all think the same way—which leaves little room for personal growth or enjoying life. Christians, for example, often end up repeating the same routines—organising potluck meals and eating quiche and such things, which can become a bit staid and, frankly, rather dull and boring. That’s not to say Christians can’t have fun—but generally speaking, the world exists for us to discover, to enjoy, and to bring light into, ideally in a way that’s enjoyable and adventurous.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to become a Christian when, so often, Christians come across as quite miserable. Then there’s the expectation of attending church three times on a Sunday. Why should that be necessary? If I’m enjoying myself by going out, why can’t I worship God in the fresh air? These mindsets persist: we invite people to join us, and then expect them to give up what they find pleasurable in order to join a ‘Christian club.’ In the process, such people often lose touch with real life—and many of the positive experiences they had with God in the past are lost. They end up just becoming ‘church people,’ which really doesn’t attract anyone.

Representatives of God’s love

Instead, we ought to show that life can be enjoyable, that we can have fun, love others, and care for them—that’s the sort of dynamic we should be bringing to the world. We’re meant to be representatives of God’s love, demonstrating care and compassion through what we do. When people hit a crisis, they’ll seek out those who are authentically loving, relatable, and understanding—the kind of people who can help them encounter God through genuine relationships.

I wholeheartedly believe in continuing to enjoy life. Since embracing this perspective, I enjoy life much more as I believe it was intended to be—without imposing a set of rigid rules and obligations that dictate where I should be and what I must do.

Going to church

I go to church meetings with Debbie because she enjoys fellowshipping with others. I like singing too, so I don’t mind joining in, but I doubt I would go if it weren’t for her. I value those friends and connections, but sometimes I do find it a struggle. In the home group, I occasionally bite my tongue to avoid offending others, but now and then God gives me permission to say something a bit provocative, to open up honest discussion. Ultimately, though, if Debbie didn’t attend the group, I wouldn’t go there either. This week, there’s football on—so I’ll watch that, as I’ll probably enjoy it more than wrestling with theological discussions I find hard to connect with. I don’t attend to cause trouble; I simply value the freedom to go or not to go.

No option

Reflecting on my past, especially when I was in church leadership, I remember having no option—I had to be there, unless I was on holiday. It was expected of me as a leader. I was often speaking—which meant there was little choice, and as I was being remunerated, there was a sense of obligation. I would have felt guilty for not going. Although it was genuinely more than just a job for me, there was still a mindset that I needed to “give them their money’s worth.” That way of thinking comes from conditioning: it is certainly not freedom.