We can find ourselves really constrained within certain systems and among people who all think the same way—which leaves little room for personal growth or enjoying life. Christians, for example, often end up repeating the same routines—organising potluck meals and eating quiche and such things, which can become a bit staid and, frankly, rather dull and boring. That’s not to say Christians can’t have fun—but generally speaking, the world exists for us to discover, to enjoy, and to bring light into, ideally in a way that’s enjoyable and adventurous.
Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to become a Christian when, so often, Christians come across as quite miserable. Then there’s the expectation of attending church three times on a Sunday. Why should that be necessary? If I’m enjoying myself by going out, why can’t I worship God in the fresh air? These mindsets persist: we invite people to join us, and then expect them to give up what they find pleasurable in order to join a ‘Christian club.’ In the process, such people often lose touch with real life—and many of the positive experiences they had with God in the past are lost. They end up just becoming ‘church people,’ which really doesn’t attract anyone.
Representatives of God’s love
Instead, we ought to show that life can be enjoyable, that we can have fun, love others, and care for them—that’s the sort of dynamic we should be bringing to the world. We’re meant to be representatives of God’s love, demonstrating care and compassion through what we do. When people hit a crisis, they’ll seek out those who are authentically loving, relatable, and understanding—the kind of people who can help them encounter God through genuine relationships.
I wholeheartedly believe in continuing to enjoy life. Since embracing this perspective, I enjoy life much more as I believe it was intended to be—without imposing a set of rigid rules and obligations that dictate where I should be and what I must do.
Going to church
I go to church meetings with Debbie because she enjoys fellowshipping with others. I like singing too, so I don’t mind joining in, but I doubt I would go if it weren’t for her. I value those friends and connections, but sometimes I do find it a struggle. In the home group, I occasionally bite my tongue to avoid offending others, but now and then God gives me permission to say something a bit provocative, to open up honest discussion. Ultimately, though, if Debbie didn’t attend the group, I wouldn’t go there either. This week, there’s football on—so I’ll watch that, as I’ll probably enjoy it more than wrestling with theological discussions I find hard to connect with. I don’t attend to cause trouble; I simply value the freedom to go or not to go.
No option
Reflecting on my past, especially when I was in church leadership, I remember having no option—I had to be there, unless I was on holiday. It was expected of me as a leader. I was often speaking—which meant there was little choice, and as I was being remunerated, there was a sense of obligation. I would have felt guilty for not going. Although it was genuinely more than just a job for me, there was still a mindset that I needed to “give them their money’s worth.” That way of thinking comes from conditioning: it is certainly not freedom.
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The spirit needs to be developed—and we need to understand how it operates. The functions of the spirit are often experienced through gateways such as reverence, the fear of the Lord, worship, and so on. There are several gateways, all designed to work in harmony with the soul and body, rather than independently. However, because the spirit and soul have become somewhat disconnected, we haven’t learned to function as a unified whole.
When some people discover spirituality and develop their relationship with God, their spirit begins to function, but since we haven’t generally been taught how to operate in this way, generally we need to learn how. I found it helpful to engage with the different gateways of the spirit by walking through them with Jesus and asking Him to show me how they work and what capabilities my spirit possesses. We refer to them as gateways because they serve as entry points, but in reality, they represent spiritual abilities or function of the spirit that need to be activated.
These abilities are activated as the Holy Spirit flows through us, and when our spirit is joined with the Holy Spirit. However, because we haven’t been used to living this way, we need to intentionally build up our spirit. Some people seem to operate in this instinctively, but most do not, so it becomes a learning journey. The more we focus on developing our spirit, the stronger our spiritual abilities become; we learn to sense and feel through the spirit—not merely through the physical senses or emotions. As our spirit becomes more active, it expands, grows, and increases in its ability to function, and as we become more whole, the spirit, soul and body work together seamlessly.
Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit
There is often a process required, where the spirit and soul need separating and reintegrating. Typically, the soul draws life from the spirit but has not been truly subject to it. Without the spirit, we wouldn’t be alive. Before discovering our identity in Christ, we often live as though we do not even have a spirit—the soul predominates, learning from everything outside ourselves. The soul is shaped by experiences and operates independently of the spirit and of God. However, when we become Christians, our spirit and soul are reconnected, and that’s when a ‘wrestling’ tends to begin, as the soul is used to being in control—protecting and providing for itself through various coping and defence mechanisms.
Suddenly, when the spirit enters the scene, the soul resists surrendering control, usually out of fear. As the spirit grows, this struggle continues, but the sooner we surrender, relinquish control and allow the spirit to lead, the better. With our spirit joined to the Holy Spirit, our lives can be directed far better than by the soul alone. Once Jesus separates and reintegrates the soul and spirit, the spirit connects to the soul from the inside out, allowing everything to flow outwardly from that unity. We then discern what is happening in the world around us first through our spiritual senses, rather than through physical senses or emotions. We’re no longer operating from memory, but from spiritual instinct—enabling us to know, feel, and sense what’s happening.
It is important to go through this process and surrender the soul’s control, so that spirit and soul can become integrated, functioning together to operate in a completely different manner.
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Back in 2011 and 2012, I held a number of supernatural workshops which were highly practical in nature. For example, we would do exercises such as closing your eyes and looking at your hand or observing the room—simple activities within a workshop environment where everyone was encouraged to practise. I’ve experimented with a variety of different approaches, including the use of crystal bowls and the unique frequencies they emit. We explored whether people could sense the intention carried on the frequency of the sound produced by a bowl, each of which operates at different sound wavelengths.
I organised workshops centred on this, and it was fascinating to observe that many participants were indeed able to pick up on the intention being conveyed through the sound. For instance, if I had a bowl in front of me and simply made a noise, it would just register as a sound to those present. However, when I played the sound with a specific intention—such as wishing for others to feel something—that vibration could be sensed in people’s bodies, and is especially penetrating if the bowl was physically placed on them. The same wavelength of sound travelled throughout the room so that everyone could hear it, but the question was: could the sound wave also carry something deeper?
Decoding information
This phenomenon happens in scientific contexts all the time—we routinely send messages via airwaves, with information encoded on sound or frequencies, which are then decoded at the other end. Similarly, when I played the bowl with a particular intention, once participants quietened themselves and became receptive, they were increasingly able to pick up on that intention. I would play a sound, transmit an intention, and then invite everyone to sense what they felt.
For example, if I released an intention of peace, some people reported feeling calm or restful, using different words to describe what they were experiencing, but essentially referring to the intention I had sent. I experimented with releasing various frequencies to touch people, and as they received those frequencies, they could enter into a state of calm, peace, or rest. The sound itself became a sort of ‘bath’—something in which they could immerse themselves, feeling the vibration surrounding and penetrating them, bringing internal peace.
528Hz
I also used this technique with healing. Specifically, I played a crystal bowl resonating at the frequency of 528Hz, which is often associated with healing. I would embed an intention for healing in the sound and explain to the group that, rather than laying hands on them in prayer, they could receive healing at a distance if they were open to it. I pointed out that God can heal at a distance; even in scripture, Paul laid hands on cloths, which were then placed on people, resulting in healing—the cloth had effectively ‘carried’ an embedded frequency or intention.
Healing testimony
In the workshops, I encouraged people to tune in, open their hearts and being to receive the healing frequency and intention; if you don’t receive it, it simply passes you by. There was one man—a member of our therapeutic community at the time—who had suffered nerve damage that left one side of his body numb. When I released the healing frequency, he received it, and his testimony was that all the numbness had disappeared.
This demonstrates that it’s possible to practise and develop the ability to transmit and receive intention through sound and frequency with tangible results.
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Hebrews for the Hebrews
Hebrews was written to the Hebrews, which is evident from its content and the mindsets and beliefs the writer was addressing. The aim was to help them understand that the old covenant had ended and a new covenant had begun. Much of the letter was therefore written in that context. When we read passages such as, “If we go on sinning wilfully after receiving the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” some read this with a predisposed theological lens—for example, evangelicals might interpret this as a threat, but the reality is that there is only one sacrifice for sins, and it has already been made. If you sin, there isn’t another sacrifice—you’re already forgiven through Jesus. It’s not about going back to animal sacrifices or Christ’s work being insufficient because someone continues to struggle independently.
The following phrase, “a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire that will consume the adversaries,” raises the question: who are the adversaries? It’s not people, but rather those things that cause us to operate in lost identity, leading us to act in ways contrary to our true nature. A judgment is a verdict—God declares, “That’s not good.” God is a consuming fire; He consumes everything opposed to the truth so you don’t have to live that way any longer.
The writer refers to those who ignored the law of Moses being put to death without mercy by the witness of two or three people. He’s speaking to Jewish believers, helping them understand their historical context and system. Just because something is said to this specific group doesn’t mean it universally applies today. This is a common issue—we don’t always consider audience relevance, asking who the letter was written to, why, and when. Hebrews was written before the destruction of the temple; these were covenantal issues. The writer is essentially saying, “Jesus has come; those following Judaism are trampling underfoot the Son of God, not accepting Him as Messiah, so your old system is coming to an end.”
Hebrews with a modern Western mindset
Much Christian theology reads Hebrews with a modern Western mindset, not recognising the original audience or situation. The statement, “It’s a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God,” is terrifying for those living by the old covenant, as there is no grace for those who choose to continue living under the law.
We need to take the whole argument—not just individual verses—into account. The entire letter is addressed to Hebrews wrestling with whether to continue following the law of Moses. Judaizers—Jewish Christians—were trying to bring people, even Gentiles, back under the law. The writer of Hebrews asserts that the law is obsolete and has faded away. Under the old system, they couldn’t approach God directly; they were afraid to come to Mount Zion, so they set up a system of mediation with Moses and their priests. Now, however, the writer says you don’t need a mediation system—entry into the Holy of Holies is open to all, as we are now priests and kings after the order of Melchizedek. He was helping them understand the transition from old to new covenant.
Not the end of the world
Hebrews is not talking about final judgment at the end of the world; it’s a judgment on the system and the people who were choosing to remain in that system—lost identity bound up in a redundant religious structure. God’s judgment is that “this system doesn’t work”, and His consuming fire will destroy everything opposed to the true, grace-based salvation found in Jesus. That old religious system is the adversary, not people themselves. Jesus warned that those remaining in Jerusalem and the old system would be subject to destruction at the end of that age—meaning, of the old covenant age, not the end of the world. “The Heavens and the Earth” would be destroyed, which was a name for the Temple, where Heaven met Earth. And in the New Testament context, “the end” and the “last days” refer to the end of the old covenant age, but due to mistranslation, it is often rendered “end of the world” rather than “end of the age”—and this completely changes the meaning. Some English translations have elsewhere turned “this generation” into “this race,” further muddying the intended message.
The writer of Hebrews consistently points to Christ as the one true and final sacrifice for sin, once and for all. He was helping his readers understand the power of the crucifixion, the resurrection, and the reality of the new covenant—using language and concepts familiar to their Jewish context. Many modern readers misunderstand this because they interpret it through a contemporary Christian theological filter.
Old Testament quotations such as “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” or “The Lord will judge his people,” are also misunderstood. God did judge the old covenant system, which came to an end. The new covenant was, in essence, re-birthed out of the ending of the old. As Jesus described in Matthew 24, these were the birth pangs of the new, not the death throes of the old—birth pangs lead to something being born.
Hebrews from the evangelical viewpoint
If you read Hebrews at face value, from the viewpoint of evangelical conditioning, you might draw all the wrong conclusions, missing the overall purpose of the book. For example, the passage about striving to enter rest refers to their striving within a religious system for something that the man-made system could never provide. We, on the other hand, already rest in the finished work of Jesus, included in Him. Yet people often think they need to strive because “the Bible says so”—but that is taking things out of context.
This shows the problems caused by the doctrine of sola scriptura, where every verse is read as something to apply directly to our lives today, without considering context. Such literalism creates many unnecessary difficulties for believers.
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Separation and reintegration
Once I had gone through that process and reintegrated, I became whole—spirit, soul, and body—in a genuine sense of completeness. My soul no longer felt the need to validate itself or dictate the terms of my actions. Suddenly, my soul and spirit were functioning in different realms but remained connected. This reintegration of spirit and soul brought a quantum entangled perspective, enabling me to be anywhere, as it were, and allowing my spirit to function in that realm.
Previously, I was tied to my soul; I would journey into heaven and then come back out, rather than having my spirit truly dwelling there, seated with Christ in heavenly places. Although my spirit was seated with Christ, I couldn’t fully understand or consciously realise the connection, as my soul kept pulling me out. As a result, I would have amazing heavenly experiences but would always return, rather than remaining in that place. God intended for me to dwell there consciously, uniting my spiritual and physical consciousness—linking my mind and spirit.
The bridal chamber
When that happened, everything came together. Things changed quite dramatically, and a whole range of new experiences opened up, eventually taking me into union in the bridal chamber. Now, this union is not sexual, but it is just as profound as sexual union, as described in 1 Corinthians 6:17. In the previous verse, it refers to whoever is joined to a prostitute becoming one flesh with her, illustrating the depth of true union.
I truly didn’t know what to expect. I felt invited to come to this place to meet the person of God—that was the union I experienced. After undergoing the process of separation and reintegration of spirit, I entered into the person of God and engaged with Him face to face. The encounter was overwhelming—far too much for me to handle. My limited beliefs and my mind simply could not cope with the magnitude of the experience, so I withdrew very quickly. But in that brief moment, I saw God and encountered something far too wonderful for me to explain or even process with my understanding of who God was.
Cognitive dissonance
This encounter created cognitive dissonance and prepared me to re-experience the true God, because the religious concept of God I had did not align with what I felt in that moment. It was simply too wonderful for the God I had believed in. I had to go through the process of really coming to know and dwell with Him. This began back in 2012, and over the years, I underwent a time of deconstruction—discovering who God truly is.
My relationship with God deepened, revealing the true God behind the false one I had previously imagined—the one who needed me to serve, be obedient, and fulfil duties out of obligation. All of that fell away as God challenged those beliefs. The ‘old covenant’ concepts I still held were also challenged. Throughout all of this, I continued to have encounters which led me to new places. For example, I passed through a series of firestone experiences—nine encounters in total—which took me into different levels of identity as a son of God.
There were many strands of experience, all drawing me towards union. Looking back, I realise how much work it took to get me to this place. I was so far removed from it, but I persisted in the journey, not knowing how each strand or encounter fitted together. All the experiences had a purpose, even if I couldn’t see how at the time—there was indeed a goal at the end.
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Two or three years ago, when we started engaging with the Earth Shield and began to examine what was operating both on and within the Earth, and also what was behind many of these systems. We began to discern God’s desire, and then, we saw the counterfeits and the beings responsible for them. At that point, it became necessary to engage with those beings directly.
Yellowstone Supervolcano
We encountered three specific beings who were active—part of a larger order—operating in Yellowstone Park in the United States. Their names were Devastation, Disaster, and Destruction. These three beings sought to bring about destruction through the supervolcano located in Yellowstone Park. If that volcano were to erupt, the entire United States could be blanketed in ash, leading to crop failure and essentially wiping everything out. So, we became aware of their agenda and engaged them.
During this engagement, we came to understand their strategy. We confronted them, and—in the process—we saw them turned from their destructive purpose and restored to their original names and identities, which were Conservation, Preservation, and Construction.
War and ‘natural’ disasters
Subsequently, we learned about their influence throughout history, including their involvement in so-called natural disasters and other catastrophic events. They were responsible for causing destruction through war and similar means, manipulating and controlling people to destabilise the world and prevent peace. In the crises that ensued, the same people always seemed to profit and gain further control.
It’s crucial that we do not allow such forces to operate and bring about disaster, destruction, and devastation—whether by means of floods, famines, eruptions, earthquakes, tsunamis, or other so-called natural phenomena. These beings use elements like wind and rain to engineer crises, which are then manipulated by the same individuals for their own ends. We must ensure that those beings are prevented from operating in that manner and, instead, be wise and engage actively with the Earth Shield to protect the planet from external influence.
Pockets of darkness
By doing so, we are also able to perceive the strategies at play on Earth. When I observed, I saw areas that appeared as pockets of darkness—places into which I could not see, as if they were shielded. To discern what was happening, we had to penetrate that darkness with light. When we did so, we were able to see those beings and, ultimately, witness their restoration. That was just the case for those operating in Yellowstone Park; of course, many more are active in other parts of the world.
Global and creational restoration
We need to focus on restoring such beings across the globe, ensuring they no longer facilitate the crises that continuously unfold. What we need is lasting peace—not simply an absence of human conflict, but planetary peace. This involves harmony from the Earth’s core to its crust – with tectonic plates existing in a state of peace, not tension – thus minimising earthquakes, eruptions, and similar disturbances.
Our responsibility, as sons of God, is to legislate for a global and creational restoration and to cooperate for the wellbeing of the planet. This means administering freedom to creation and working with the elementals to ensure the Earth operates in peace.
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For me, I would only ever want to create something that came out of the Father’s desire, out of His heart. So I am co-creating—I am not creating independently. I am always going to be engaged with the Father’s heart. Now, if I am talking about something that is around my own life or environment, and I want my intention to be blessed or favoured, then I am simply outworking the Father’s heart as He has revealed it to me. I can choose the realities that form around my life through intention, forming the life that I live from that place of rest.
But if it is something beyond myself—something creative, something not about my own life—then I will engage the Father. And there is a process. I think I have taught on this process before, but the process is to engage in what I call the cradle of life. That is the place where the heart of God reveals to your heart His desires, and you come into agreement with them. It is a brooding place, where you become pregnant with His desire. And through that brooding and meditating and simply being in His heart, you begin to resonate with His thinking and His desires. And when you are in agreement with that—when you are in harmony—you become the voice that speaks that desire into being.
From there, you engage that voice, like the sound of many waters—the voice of God. You become His voice. That leads into the chamber of creation, which you can come to through various stages. And in that place, when you speak, light responds, and creation happens. Now, I am describing a process, but that process eventually becomes a state of being.
So for example, when I created some guardian beings—I did not consciously go through all of those stages like: I am going to do this, then this. It is just where I live. I was in the Council of Guardians and they asked, “Will you create some guardians?” I was a bit taken aback. I had never heard another being ask me to create more of them before. So I went to the Father to check it out. I asked, “Do I have permission to do this? Is this Your heart?” And the Father was like, “Well, of course it is. They are a Council of Guardians. They are not going to tell you anything that is not aligned with My heart.”
So I was learning. And then I asked, “Well, how do I do it?” And He just said, “You know how to do it. It is the same way you do everything—by intention.” So with that, I realised I already had the Father’s heart. I had chosen to come into agreement with it. I did not need to go and sit again in the cradle of life to find out what He thought. His thoughts had already come to me—through the Guardians, essentially.
So I went back to the Council and, by intention, I released that intention to create, and creation formed. Light responded to my desire.
Now I did ask the Father, “Why are there not enough guardians?” There was something in me thinking, “Did You not create enough in the first place?” I did not voice that out loud, but it was in my thoughts. And He said—because He knew what I was thinking—“We have left many things undone and incomplete for you, our sons, to complete.” That is the co-creating we are invited into. There are things that They—the Father, Son and Spirit—have deliberately left for us to fulfil, to complete, to bring into being.
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Buddhism is more a philosophy of life than a religion, really—because essentially, they are not worshipping Buddha. They know Buddha died. It is a teaching philosophy, and actually, it contains a lot of similar teaching to Jesus: love one another, the golden rule, treat people the way you want to be treated.
I was in Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand in March (2025), and I found it very interesting looking at the Buddhist temples, the philosophy, the culture—looking at how they did things and why they did them. I was not approaching it negatively. I did not go over there with an agenda. I was simply interested: what was this really about?
Seeing truth as truth
Now obviously, Jesus is not at the centre of it. But that does not mean there is no truth contained within it. In terms of meditation—how you focus, how you come to a place of rest—using music, using certain sounds or frequencies, those things can be helpful. But we are not applying Buddhist philosophy as Buddhists. We are seeing truth as truth, and applying that truth as it comes from Jesus through Jesus—not through a Buddhist principle or system. That is the difference.
And I know people will say, “Ah, yes, but if the root of it is evil, then you cannot use it.” But who says the root is evil? Why would it not be possible that Jesus, who is the Truth, might deposit truth in all sorts of places—so people could discover it and ultimately discover Him? There is even a story in Hinduism of a god who was crucified and wore a crown of thorns. Where did that come from? Well, I believe Jesus deposited something there—so that when people in that context later heard the story of His crucifixion, they might be drawn toward Him.
What we are doing is engaging with Jesus, the Truth. We are not embracing the whole of any other philosophy. If there is music that helps us focus or rest, we are engaging it with our own intention. Our use of it can cleanse it. We are choosing it for our good.
Eat the meat
This is not unlike the situation Paul addressed regarding meat sacrificed to idols. Some believers were afraid of being polluted by it. But Paul said, “The idols are nothing—they are just stone and wood.” Maybe there was something demonic behind them—but the meat itself? It was just meat. If you ate the meat, you were not worshipping a false god. You were just eating food. And Paul was trying to help them see—there was no power in it unless you gave it power. If you thought it was wrong and went against your conscience, then it became a problem for you. But the thing itself had no power unless you empowered it.
So Paul was saying, in effect: do not be in bondage to these things. If you want to eat the meat, eat it. If you do not, then do not. But either way, it is not going to harm you—unless you give it that power. The same principle applies to things like frequencies, sound bowls, music, intention. There is a lot of excellent Christian material out there too—music that has embedded intention, that carries a frequency of truth and peace and love.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Positive intention
I do not really listen to music that way myself, but I know Samuel—who is part of our ministry—writes and composes music with positive intention built in. That is what we often use for activations and meditations. And I know those are good, life-giving pieces of music. So if you are in any doubt, use something you know has come from a good source. If you are concerned, that is the safest thing to do.
But I do not necessarily believe you need to be concerned. Someone might say, “But what if the composer of the music intended something negative?” Well, yes, they might have—but that does not mean you will be affected by it, because you carry a higher truth. You can choose to cleanse something. You can choose a different intention. If the embedded goal of that music was negative, you do not have to receive that. But I would say this: if you are not in a place to know how to handle that—do not listen to it. Do not go there. Choose something else that you know is safe. Find some Christian music you trust. Use what you know carries positive intention. Because for those who are mature, these things may not affect you. But if you feel vulnerable, then avoid it—because your belief about it could actually empower it to affect you negatively.
So it comes down to what you believe. That is the key.
Would I buy into the whole of Buddhist philosophy? No. Because I do not believe in reincarnation. I do not believe we come back in another body to have another go. I believe we get one life—and we should make the most of it. And that life continues beyond death. In fact, I do not believe we even have to die—but that is another topic.
So we just need to take a view of everything through Jesus the Truth. That is our plumb line. Does it carry the right frequency? That is how I always check. Does it carry the frequency of love? If it does, then I know that God is love—and that will be aligned with Him. Whatever the source, if it resonates with God, I do not have a problem with it.
Because truth is truth. Love is love. Not eros or emotional love—but real agape, God love. That is the measure we use to discern what is good, and what is not.
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The text below is a condensed version of the video content.
Wait expectantly
I got through November, December and January—but I was in a bad way emotionally. Then came February, and all I felt was: wait expectantly. This was the dark cloud again, but now with the sense that hope would return. Still, I was frustrated. Why wait? What for? When would something actually happen? I sensed—not in words, but inwardly—that I should fast for 20 or 21 days, and then breakthrough would come. That gave me something to hold on to, a flicker of hope.
So I started fasting. Eight days in, I poisoned myself with contaminated water. I had not cleaned out the water cooler properly. For five days after that, I could not even keep water down. I had already gone over a week without food, and now no sleep, no hydration. I was delirious. Physically, emotionally, I was running on empty. I did not do what I would advise anyone else to do. I did not call the elders; I did not ask for prayer; I did not go to the doctor. I just let it happen. I suppose I embraced it, though I did not really know why.
My soul had had enough by that point. I said to God, “I surrender”—just to make it stop. I did not mean it, and it did not stop; it intensified. For another two weeks or more, I was at the absolute end of myself. My soul gave up. It stopped asking. I had no more questions. I could finally be still—because I had no strength to be anything else. I could wait, I could rest, because I could do nothing else. I could not even think.
It was my ‘Garden of Gethsemane’, in a way. Every part of me—body, soul, mind, emotions, will—was spent. I got the faintest glimpse of what Jesus must have endured, though his was infinitely greater. He took on the lost identity of all of us. Every dark cloud, every wound, every bit of brokenness. He carried it all. That is how deep his love goes.
God reminded me of some scriptures—Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It felt like that. I was groaning and crying out, and God seemed miles away. But then, verse 24 says that he did not despise the suffering or hide his face. He heard. He heard me. He just knew I had to come to the end of myself.
Psalm 42 was another. “Why are you in despair, O my soul?” That was exactly how I felt—mentally exhausted, unable to focus, even to pray in tongues. I stopped trying. Emotionally I was wrecked. I started accusing God, and I received accusations—from myself, from the enemy. I felt I was a failure in every area: husband, father, leader, person. And I believed every word of it.
But God was using this. He was preparing me for what was ahead—for the criticism, the trolling, the accusations that would come. Nothing people might say could ever be worse than what I had already said to myself. Colossians 1:24 came to mind—Paul talks about rejoicing in his sufferings and filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions. Not adding to them, because we cannot—but joining in that unselfish love that undergirds all true ministry.
That is what God was working in me: love, joy and peace that does not come from anything external, but only from him. And I had not fully surrendered, so I was still going through it. But even that was his mercy, drawing me deeper into his love.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Rejoice – Again I say, rejoice!
Rejoice in the Lord always—again I say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4).
It felt like I might just be getting there. I had no strength to give thanks, but something began to rise in me—not from my soul, but from my spirit. Hope started to return. 1 Peter 4:13 says, “To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing.” And something shifted. I began to rejoice. My attitude changed. Joy became strength.
And then came the shaking. Hebrews 12 talks about removing the things that can be shaken so only what cannot be shaken remains. That consuming fire—God’s presence—was burning everything up. And I chose to offer myself. I surrendered, even though I was burning inside and out. The fire of God’s love was testing what would remain. That was when I burned my ketubah—a contract I had written with 68 demands, all good things: to fulfil destiny, sonship, purpose. But it was my contract with God, not his. As I burned it, I felt each item die. And I grieved, deeply. Waves of loss rolled over me.
And then came the question: “Do you still love me?” If nothing I desired came to pass, would I still love God? Would I trust him, still rejoice, still believe he is good? Yes. My soul had finally surrendered. He searched and tested my heart—not to punish, but to purify. The pure in heart see God. That is what he wanted: face-to-face relationship.
I surrendered control. I no longer needed to know anything, see anything. If he never showed me another thing, I did not care. Could God trust me? That was the real issue—not what I could do for him, or him for me—but relationship. When I surrendered, he told me he trusted me. If he never did another thing for me, I would still love him. And if I never did anything for him again, he would still love me.
Those four months had been four phases: garden, dance floor, soaking room, dark cloud—be still, wait, rest, wait expectantly. They all turned out to be invitations by grace, but my soul had turned them into duties, burdens, performance. Until finally, I surrendered even my obedience. He freed me from needing to earn identity through duty. I saw that my redemptive gift is not what I do, but who I am.
And was it all worth it—just for relationship? Absolutely. It brought me to 2 Corinthians 7:16: I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you. That night, when I surrendered completely and found joy, he separated and reintegrated my soul and spirit. I could never have done that myself—only he, the living Word, could. Everything changed. My soul and spirit became quantum entangled, re-joined from the inside out.
This blog is adapted from the recording of a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons?
Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.
The next day, I woke up totally restored. No symptoms. Physically and emotionally whole. I sat in my chair and re-engaged heaven. But now I was free—untethered. Not stepping in and out, but abiding. My spirit stayed in the heavenly realms. My soul no longer anchored me to the earth. I live in dual realms, connected, unified. Everything the Father wanted to show me became accessible. From that day, my spirit has never left that realm. My soul became a channel for heaven to touch earth. Joined to the Lord, one spirit. The gateway opened.
Looking back now, I can honestly say—I rejoice. I celebrate what the Father did in me. It was awesome. I am so deeply grateful. He loved me enough to take me through that fire, through that pressure, through the darkest cloud I had ever experienced—because he knew what was on the other side. He wanted me to be free. He wanted me to know the depth of his unconditional love. He wanted me to experience limitless grace, triumphant mercy—not just know about them, but live from them. And I do. That is where I live from now.
So now, I want to encourage you—just open your heart. Just be willing. Ask Jesus to take you wherever he wants you to go. Do not try to control the outcome, do not try to shape the experience. Just say, “Yes, I am willing.” Maybe he will take you into the dark cloud. Maybe it will be something completely different. But whatever it is, if he is leading, you can trust it. Trust him. You might not understand it at the time, I certainly did not—but he knows what he is doing. And if you are willing to say to him, “I choose to embrace this path of transformation,” then say it. Tell him. But do not try to make anything happen. Let him lead. Desire it, yes—but do not create the agenda. That was the biggest lesson for me: only he can initiate it, only he can take you through it.
And really, that is where this whole series began—right back at the beginning: to experience first love, we have to abandon our soul into the trust of the God who loves us unconditionally. That is what he wanted me to get to. That was my journey. That was how I got out of the boat. And we all need to get out of that boat. The boat of survival. The boat where we think we are in control, where we try to make everything safe and understandable. We have to get out of that boat, and sink into the vast, endless ocean of unconditional love.
Because only there—only in that place of absolute surrender, trust and intimacy—can we truly experience what it means to walk with God, to know him, to be known by him. That is what he is after. That is what this whole thing is about. It is not about doing anything for him. It is not about fulfilling a calling, or achieving anything at all. It is about being with him, loving him, and letting him love us. That is the invitation. That is the transformation. That is first love.
Activation (full version).
I encourage you just to close your eyes. Get relaxed. You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
You may want to start by focusing on your breathing— breathe in slowly… hold it… and then breathe out slowly.
And as you are breathing in and breathing out, begin to focus your thinking on God the Father—who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, you are breathing in unconditional love— the love of the Father for you as a son, as a daughter, as a child.
Breathe it in. And as you breathe it in, that unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being— touching every cell of your body, your mind, your emotions, the whole of your soul, spirit and body.
Be still… and let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, let joy and peace come—overwhelm you, cocoon you. All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— a cocoon of love, joy and peace that you are simply resting in… relaxing in…
Be still. Wait. Just rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you right now— this is a safe place.
You can get out of that boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself— to sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love— where God’s love is so strong, so powerful, that you can trust Him.
He is a good God. He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love, as He restores that first love to you.
You can sink deeper… and deeper.
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper into that love.
You can stay in that place.
Maybe you want to get closer and more intimate with the Father— face to face with His presence.
You can fix your thoughts. Jesus wants to reveal the Father to you. The Holy Spirit wants to reveal Jesus to you. So they can reveal themselves to you— in intimacy.
Think about the Father meeting you. Fix your thoughts in your imagination. Picture a door in your spirit— and you can choose to open that door.
Invite the Father’s presence in— to hug you, to breathe His breath of life into you.
And as the Father embraces you in love, be open to wherever He wants to lead you— maybe to the soaking room, if that is where you are, maybe to the realms of heaven— where you can engage the judgment seat, or the altar of fire, or the river of fire.
Perhaps you want to take your scroll— to have it tested and purified by the consuming fire of His love.
Or maybe ask Him to take you into that dark cloud experience— if you are willing, if you feel the desires of your heart are set upon it.
Wherever the Father wants to lead you, just be willing to go— knowing that you can trust Him.
Because He loves you. He wants the best for you. He is a good God.
He wants you to truly know who He really is, so you can truly know who you really are— as a child of God.
Be open to wherever He takes you right now…
Feel free to stay in that place as long as you would like—a place of intimacy, a place of love, a place of rejoicing, where the joy and peace of God can just fill you and flood you.
During a dark cloud experience in worship in October 2011, the Father asked me if I would give Him four months. Now, I thought, wow—forty days was amazing—imagine what four months could do. He did not say a four-month fast (I think that might have been extreme, but I probably would have done it). Nevertheless, I was so excited. Of course I said yes to that invitation. I mean, it was like—wow—what was God going to do with me when I gave Him four months?
So I chose November 2011 to February 2012 for my four months. It was not a fast, but it was a time without journaling, without agenda—or so I thought. Well, I suppose I did: I wanted more. But He had an agenda. Wow. I was in for a shock, again, from that Jehovah-Sneaky. He tricked me into this—probably because He knew I might not accept if I knew what was going to happen. I do not know. But He got me into that place.
So—November the first, 2011. I got up, six in the morning, and I sat in my usual reclining chair, expecting something amazing to happen. Remember, I had had over a year of daily experiences and encounters in heaven, within my own spirit and soul—and now what happened? Nothing. Darkness. A blank, black screen. How confused I was! How shocked I was! How sad I was!
Now in hindsight, I can see what God was doing through those four months. Each month was a separate period. And I see He was taking me back to the garden, but I could not see it or experience it cognitively. He took me back to the dance floor. He took me to the soaking room, and into the dark cloud. But I could not see or feel anything—other than it was dark. Black. I could see nothing. I could hear nothing. It was horrible.
Be still
All I felt was, “Be still.” That was it. Be still. I had to be still. But I was so frustrated, confused, disappointed. My soul did not handle being still very well.
So there I am, November 2011, and God is taking me back into the garden so I could know God who is love. But that was tested, because I could not see it, and I could not feel it. All I had to do was be still. Psalm 46:10—“Be still and know that I am God.” That was the first verse I ever meditated on. I had meditated on that verse for years. And now God had asked me to be still, and I could not.
Another version of that verse says, “Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at Me, your high God.” I could not see Him. It was like—how unfair is that? I had no problem being still until I was invited to be still—and my soul reacted to that darkness. I kicked off.
Now, there are other verses.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.’ (Psalm 91:1).
But I could not trust Him. In fact, I did not trust Him. God is love—but would I trust Him without seeing and knowing what He is doing? My soul failed that test miserably. I had to know what He was doing. I bombarded Him with questions. I needed to know. Why was He doing this to me? What was happening?
See, if I knew what He was doing, I felt secure—and I could trust Him. But I did not trust Him as much as I thought, obviously. My soul kicked off. I really needed to know. I had to know. And of course—God did not tell me. Which was so frustrating, and so annoying. And I got so angry with God, I said things to Him which I am not proud of now. Of course, He was smiling all along. I could not see Him, but He was smiling, because He knew what this process was going to do in me.
I remembered that God once said, “I do not need your assistance, just your surrender.” I remembered that—but I could not do it. My soul could not surrender. And I think I did not really know God’s unconditional love. I knew God is love. I knew God loved me. But actually, was it unconditional? I do not think my soul accepted that that was the truth.
This recording is from a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons? Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.
So—November was a miserable month. I went through a terrible struggle. I was hoping that December would be better. So—the first of December—I get up. I go back, I sit in my chair. Nothing again. Blank. All I felt was: “Wait.” Looking back, I can see that God was taking me on the dance floor. There would be joy. But I had to wait. Why did I need to wait? What was I waiting for? Isaiah 40:31—Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Great. But I could not see what He was doing, so I could not wait. I wanted to know.
Another version says, “Those who wait for the Lord, who expect, look for, and hope for Him, shall change and renew their strength and power.” I think that is the Amplified version. Nehemiah 8:10 says “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” So God wanted me to experience joy based on nothing other than Him. So I was waiting. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing. That was not joy. I did not feel joyful, or blissful, or any other description of joy. I was miserable.
Could joy come from no external circumstances, only from my relationship with the Lord? Well obviously, yes. I discovered that in the end. But while I was going through it? Absolutely not. I felt no joy at all. I was miserable. Even Christmas was horrible that year, because inside I was in turmoil. I was so struggling with what was happening to me. It felt so unfair that God had made me this way—and now I could not be me. That is how it felt.
So—why do I have to wait? What am I waiting for? Why are You making me wait? Who am I waiting for? My soul was absolutely, totally out of control. And I believe the Father was showing me what I would be like without my spirit’s influence. Because when I came into relationship with God, and when the Holy Spirit was alive in me, and when revelation came, and when I was baptised in the Spirit, and filled with the Spirit, and all these amazing things—I had wonderful experiences of God. And it was great.
But now God was showing me what I was like on my own, following my own path, in my soul. Needing to know what God was doing, to even have a hope of joy. So why would I have to wait? It was so hard.
Rest
Then January came. The first of January. I was hoping—hoping—that this would be a new year and something would change. And all I felt was: rest. Rest. I could not rest. I was now in the soaking room. Rest. Peace. God wanted me to come into peace. I could not feel peaceful. I was anything but peaceful. I was riled. My emotions were high. My soul was in turmoil.
Matthew 11:28—“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Well—I was weary and heavy laden at this point. I really felt my soul was carrying this weight of producing my own identity from what I was doing. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I did not find rest for my soul. I could not enter rest.
I had been at rest for a whole year. Wonderfully at rest. He had taught me from that scripture. He opened it up so I could know what it was to come into rest. And now He invited me to rest—and I could not rest. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing, be nothing. More frustration.
I could not do it. I could not rest. Which was the point. Because He was basically saying, you do not have to try to create rest. You come to Me. Being gentle and humble in heart is true peace, where identity and destiny are accepted and surrendered for God’s glory. But I could not do it.
So was I willing to take the yoke of Jesus, even when it made no sense? When I did not understand? When I could not figure it out? When I did not know what God was doing? Could I do it? No. I could not. Absolutely no way. So would I follow His lead and be His disciple in pure trust? Which is exactly what He wanted me to do. But I could not. Not at that point. I could not do it.
Why do I need to rest? What am I resting for? What are You doing, making me rest? Who am I resting for? What is it all about? My soul just asked question upon question upon question. I could not be still. I could not wait. I could not rest. I was in turmoil—continually. I was asking those questions—but really they were accusations. I was accusing God. What are You doing? Why are You doing this to me? It is unfair. I have done nothing to deserve this. I do not like it.
But—I got through November, December and January. I got through it. But I was pretty bad—emotionally. And then I got to February. And all I felt was: wait expectantly. Now—I was going to go into the dark cloud. Now—hope would return.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Activation (excerpt)
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
Begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out… slowly.
And as you breathe in… and breathe out… Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you, As a son, As a daughter, As His child.
Breathe it in.
As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow Through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body, Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.
Let yourself be still, And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Joy and peace come— They overwhelm you, They cocoon you.
All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.
You are just resting in it. Relaxing in it.
Be still. Wait. Rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you—right now— This is a safe place.
You can get out of the boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself, To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful— You can trust Him.
He is a good God, And He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love As He restores first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper…
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper… Into love.
Sons of Issachar 