Category: Restoring First Love

462. The Dark Cloud 4 | Breakthrough Day—From Grief to Glory

Mike Parsons –

If you do not see the video entitled The Dark Cloud, Part 4. Breakthrough Day—From Grief to Glory, please click here.

The text below is a condensed version of the video content.

Wait expectantly

I got through November, December and January—but I was in a bad way emotionally. Then came February, and all I felt was: wait expectantly. This was the dark cloud again, but now with the sense that hope would return. Still, I was frustrated. Why wait? What for? When would something actually happen? I sensed—not in words, but inwardly—that I should fast for 20 or 21 days, and then breakthrough would come. That gave me something to hold on to, a flicker of hope.

So I started fasting. Eight days in, I poisoned myself with contaminated water. I had not cleaned out the water cooler properly. For five days after that, I could not even keep water down. I had already gone over a week without food, and now no sleep, no hydration. I was delirious. Physically, emotionally, I was running on empty. I did not do what I would advise anyone else to do. I did not call the elders; I did not ask for prayer; I did not go to the doctor. I just let it happen. I suppose I embraced it, though I did not really know why.

My soul had had enough by that point. I said to God, “I surrender”—just to make it stop. I did not mean it, and it did not stop; it intensified. For another two weeks or more, I was at the absolute end of myself. My soul gave up. It stopped asking. I had no more questions. I could finally be still—because I had no strength to be anything else. I could wait, I could rest, because I could do nothing else. I could not even think.

It was my ‘Garden of Gethsemane’, in a way. Every part of me—body, soul, mind, emotions, will—was spent. I got the faintest glimpse of what Jesus must have endured, though his was infinitely greater. He took on the lost identity of all of us. Every dark cloud, every wound, every bit of brokenness. He carried it all. That is how deep his love goes.

God reminded me of some scriptures—Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It felt like that. I was groaning and crying out, and God seemed miles away. But then, verse 24 says that he did not despise the suffering or hide his face. He heard. He heard me. He just knew I had to come to the end of myself.

Psalm 42 was another. “Why are you in despair, O my soul?” That was exactly how I felt—mentally exhausted, unable to focus, even to pray in tongues. I stopped trying. Emotionally I was wrecked. I started accusing God, and I received accusations—from myself, from the enemy. I felt I was a failure in every area: husband, father, leader, person. And I believed every word of it.

But God was using this. He was preparing me for what was ahead—for the criticism, the trolling, the accusations that would come. Nothing people might say could ever be worse than what I had already said to myself. Colossians 1:24 came to mind—Paul talks about rejoicing in his sufferings and filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions. Not adding to them, because we cannot—but joining in that unselfish love that undergirds all true ministry.

That is what God was working in me: love, joy and peace that does not come from anything external, but only from him. And I had not fully surrendered, so I was still going through it. But even that was his mercy, drawing me deeper into his love.

All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

Rejoice – Again I say, rejoice!

Rejoice in the Lord always—again I say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4).

It felt like I might just be getting there. I had no strength to give thanks, but something began to rise in me—not from my soul, but from my spirit. Hope started to return. 1 Peter 4:13 says, “To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing.” And something shifted. I began to rejoice. My attitude changed. Joy became strength.

And then came the shaking. Hebrews 12 talks about removing the things that can be shaken so only what cannot be shaken remains. That consuming fire—God’s presence—was burning everything up. And I chose to offer myself. I surrendered, even though I was burning inside and out. The fire of God’s love was testing what would remain. That was when I burned my ketubah—a contract I had written with 68 demands, all good things: to fulfil destiny, sonship, purpose. But it was my contract with God, not his. As I burned it, I felt each item die. And I grieved, deeply. Waves of loss rolled over me.

And then came the question: “Do you still love me?” If nothing I desired came to pass, would I still love God? Would I trust him, still rejoice, still believe he is good? Yes. My soul had finally surrendered. He searched and tested my heart—not to punish, but to purify. The pure in heart see God. That is what he wanted: face-to-face relationship.

I surrendered control. I no longer needed to know anything, see anything. If he never showed me another thing, I did not care. Could God trust me? That was the real issue—not what I could do for him, or him for me—but relationship. When I surrendered, he told me he trusted me. If he never did another thing for me, I would still love him. And if I never did anything for him again, he would still love me.

Those four months had been four phases: garden, dance floor, soaking room, dark cloud—be still, wait, rest, wait expectantly. They all turned out to be invitations by grace, but my soul had turned them into duties, burdens, performance. Until finally, I surrendered even my obedience. He freed me from needing to earn identity through duty. I saw that my redemptive gift is not what I do, but who I am.

And was it all worth it—just for relationship? Absolutely. It brought me to 2 Corinthians 7:16: I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you. That night, when I surrendered completely and found joy, he separated and reintegrated my soul and spirit. I could never have done that myself—only he, the living Word, could. Everything changed. My soul and spirit became quantum entangled, re-joined from the inside out.

This blog is adapted from the recording of a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons?
Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.

Or you can purchase this whole Restoring First Love series at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

Abiding in the heavenly realms

The next day, I woke up totally restored. No symptoms. Physically and emotionally whole. I sat in my chair and re-engaged heaven. But now I was free—untethered. Not stepping in and out, but abiding. My spirit stayed in the heavenly realms. My soul no longer anchored me to the earth. I live in dual realms, connected, unified. Everything the Father wanted to show me became accessible. From that day, my spirit has never left that realm. My soul became a channel for heaven to touch earth. Joined to the Lord, one spirit. The gateway opened.

Looking back now, I can honestly say—I rejoice. I celebrate what the Father did in me. It was awesome. I am so deeply grateful. He loved me enough to take me through that fire, through that pressure, through the darkest cloud I had ever experienced—because he knew what was on the other side. He wanted me to be free. He wanted me to know the depth of his unconditional love. He wanted me to experience limitless grace, triumphant mercy—not just know about them, but live from them. And I do. That is where I live from now.

So now, I want to encourage you—just open your heart. Just be willing. Ask Jesus to take you wherever he wants you to go. Do not try to control the outcome, do not try to shape the experience. Just say, “Yes, I am willing.” Maybe he will take you into the dark cloud. Maybe it will be something completely different. But whatever it is, if he is leading, you can trust it. Trust him. You might not understand it at the time, I certainly did not—but he knows what he is doing. And if you are willing to say to him, “I choose to embrace this path of transformation,” then say it. Tell him. But do not try to make anything happen. Let him lead. Desire it, yes—but do not create the agenda. That was the biggest lesson for me: only he can initiate it, only he can take you through it.

And really, that is where this whole series began—right back at the beginning: to experience first love, we have to abandon our soul into the trust of the God who loves us unconditionally. That is what he wanted me to get to. That was my journey. That was how I got out of the boat. And we all need to get out of that boat. The boat of survival. The boat where we think we are in control, where we try to make everything safe and understandable. We have to get out of that boat, and sink into the vast, endless ocean of unconditional love.

Because only there—only in that place of absolute surrender, trust and intimacy—can we truly experience what it means to walk with God, to know him, to be known by him. That is what he is after. That is what this whole thing is about. It is not about doing anything for him. It is not about fulfilling a calling, or achieving anything at all. It is about being with him, loving him, and letting him love us. That is the invitation. That is the transformation. That is first love.

Activation (full version).

I encourage you just to close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.

You may want to start by focusing on your breathing—
breathe in slowly… hold it…
and then breathe out slowly.

And as you are breathing in and breathing out,
begin to focus your thinking on God the Father—who is love.

As you begin to breathe in,
you are breathing in unconditional love—
the love of the Father for you as a son, as a daughter, as a child.

Breathe it in.
And as you breathe it in, that unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being—
touching every cell of your body,
your mind, your emotions,
the whole of your soul, spirit and body.

Be still… and let God love on you.
Let Him show you how much He loves you.

As His love fills you,
let joy and peace come—overwhelm you, cocoon you.
All of His being begins to flow in you.
An atmosphere forms around you—
a cocoon of love, joy and peace that you are simply resting in… relaxing in…

Be still.
Wait.
Just rest.
Wait expectantly.

Whatever God wants to do with you right now—
this is a safe place.

You can get out of that boat—figuratively.
You can choose to abandon yourself—
to sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love—
where God’s love is so strong, so powerful,
that you can trust Him.

He is a good God.
He wants the best for you.

Just go deeper and deeper into that love,
as He restores that first love to you.

You can sink deeper… and deeper.

There may be things around you that you sense or feel.
Be willing to go deeper into that love.

You can stay in that place.

Maybe you want to get closer and more intimate with the Father—
face to face with His presence.

You can fix your thoughts.
Jesus wants to reveal the Father to you.
The Holy Spirit wants to reveal Jesus to you.
So they can reveal themselves to you—
in intimacy.

Think about the Father meeting you.
Fix your thoughts in your imagination.
Picture a door in your spirit—
and you can choose to open that door.

Invite the Father’s presence in—
to hug you,
to breathe His breath of life into you.

And as the Father embraces you in love,
be open to wherever He wants to lead you—
maybe to the soaking room, if that is where you are,
maybe to the realms of heaven—
where you can engage the judgment seat,
or the altar of fire,
or the river of fire.

Perhaps you want to take your scroll—
to have it tested and purified by the consuming fire of His love.

Or maybe ask Him to take you into that dark cloud experience—
if you are willing,
if you feel the desires of your heart are set upon it.

Wherever the Father wants to lead you,
just be willing to go—
knowing that you can trust Him.

Because He loves you.
He wants the best for you.
He is a good God.

He wants you to truly know who He really is,
so you can truly know who you really are—
as a child of God.

Be open to wherever He takes you right now…

Feel free to stay in that place as long as you would like—a place of intimacy, a place of love, a place of rejoicing, where the joy and peace of God can just fill you and flood you.

461. The Dark Cloud 3 | When Your Soul Needs Answers But God Is Silent

336. Get out of the boat… and SINK!

274. Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit (1)

276. Living In Dual Realms

461. The Dark Cloud 3 | When Your Soul Needs Answers But God Is Silent

Mike Parsons –

Not able to see the video above? Click here.

Four months with God!

During a dark cloud experience in worship in October 2011, the Father asked me if I would give Him four months. Now, I thought, wow—forty days was amazing—imagine what four months could do. He did not say a four-month fast (I think that might have been extreme, but I probably would have done it). Nevertheless, I was so excited. Of course I said yes to that invitation. I mean, it was like—wow—what was God going to do with me when I gave Him four months?

So I chose November 2011 to February 2012 for my four months. It was not a fast, but it was a time without journaling, without agenda—or so I thought. Well, I suppose I did: I wanted more. But He had an agenda. Wow. I was in for a shock, again, from that Jehovah-Sneaky. He tricked me into this—probably because He knew I might not accept if I knew what was going to happen. I do not know. But He got me into that place.

So—November the first, 2011. I got up, six in the morning, and I sat in my usual reclining chair, expecting something amazing to happen. Remember, I had had over a year of daily experiences and encounters in heaven, within my own spirit and soul—and now what happened? Nothing. Darkness. A blank, black screen. How confused I was! How shocked I was! How sad I was!

Now in hindsight, I can see what God was doing through those four months. Each month was a separate period. And I see He was taking me back to the garden, but I could not see it or experience it cognitively. He took me back to the dance floor. He took me to the soaking room, and into the dark cloud. But I could not see or feel anything—other than it was dark. Black. I could see nothing. I could hear nothing. It was horrible.

Be still

All I felt was, “Be still.” That was it. Be still. I had to be still. But I was so frustrated, confused, disappointed. My soul did not handle being still very well.

So there I am, November 2011, and God is taking me back into the garden so I could know God who is love. But that was tested, because I could not see it, and I could not feel it. All I had to do was be still. Psalm 46:10—“Be still and know that I am God.” That was the first verse I ever meditated on. I had meditated on that verse for years. And now God had asked me to be still, and I could not.

Another version of that verse says, “Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at Me, your high God.” I could not see Him. It was like—how unfair is that? I had no problem being still until I was invited to be still—and my soul reacted to that darkness. I kicked off.

Now, there are other verses.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.’ (Psalm 91:1).

But I could not trust Him. In fact, I did not trust Him. God is love—but would I trust Him without seeing and knowing what He is doing? My soul failed that test miserably. I had to know what He was doing. I bombarded Him with questions. I needed to know. Why was He doing this to me? What was happening?

See, if I knew what He was doing, I felt secure—and I could trust Him. But I did not trust Him as much as I thought, obviously. My soul kicked off. I really needed to know. I had to know. And of course—God did not tell me. Which was so frustrating, and so annoying. And I got so angry with God, I said things to Him which I am not proud of now. Of course, He was smiling all along. I could not see Him, but He was smiling, because He knew what this process was going to do in me.

I remembered that God once said, “I do not need your assistance, just your surrender.” I remembered that—but I could not do it. My soul could not surrender. And I think I did not really know God’s unconditional love. I knew God is love. I knew God loved me. But actually, was it unconditional? I do not think my soul accepted that that was the truth.

This recording is from a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons? Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.

Or you can purchase this whole Restoring First Love series at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

So—November was a miserable month. I went through a terrible struggle. I was hoping that December would be better. So—the first of December—I get up. I go back, I sit in my chair. Nothing again. Blank. All I felt was: “Wait.” Looking back, I can see that God was taking me on the dance floor. There would be joy. But I had to wait. Why did I need to wait? What was I waiting for? Isaiah 40:31—Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Great. But I could not see what He was doing, so I could not wait. I wanted to know.

Another version says, “Those who wait for the Lord, who expect, look for, and hope for Him, shall change and renew their strength and power.” I think that is the Amplified version. Nehemiah 8:10 says “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” So God wanted me to experience joy based on nothing other than Him. So I was waiting. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing. That was not joy. I did not feel joyful, or blissful, or any other description of joy. I was miserable.

Could joy come from no external circumstances, only from my relationship with the Lord? Well obviously, yes. I discovered that in the end. But while I was going through it? Absolutely not. I felt no joy at all. I was miserable. Even Christmas was horrible that year, because inside I was in turmoil. I was so struggling with what was happening to me. It felt so unfair that God had made me this way—and now I could not be me. That is how it felt.

So—why do I have to wait? What am I waiting for? Why are You making me wait? Who am I waiting for? My soul was absolutely, totally out of control. And I believe the Father was showing me what I would be like without my spirit’s influence. Because when I came into relationship with God, and when the Holy Spirit was alive in me, and when revelation came, and when I was baptised in the Spirit, and filled with the Spirit, and all these amazing things—I had wonderful experiences of God. And it was great.

But now God was showing me what I was like on my own, following my own path, in my soul. Needing to know what God was doing, to even have a hope of joy. So why would I have to wait? It was so hard.

Rest

Then January came. The first of January. I was hoping—hoping—that this would be a new year and something would change. And all I felt was: rest. Rest. I could not rest. I was now in the soaking room. Rest. Peace. God wanted me to come into peace. I could not feel peaceful. I was anything but peaceful. I was riled. My emotions were high. My soul was in turmoil.

Matthew 11:28—“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Well—I was weary and heavy laden at this point. I really felt my soul was carrying this weight of producing my own identity from what I was doing. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I did not find rest for my soul. I could not enter rest.

I had been at rest for a whole year. Wonderfully at rest. He had taught me from that scripture. He opened it up so I could know what it was to come into rest. And now He invited me to rest—and I could not rest. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing, be nothing. More frustration.

I could not do it. I could not rest. Which was the point. Because He was basically saying, you do not have to try to create rest. You come to Me. Being gentle and humble in heart is true peace, where identity and destiny are accepted and surrendered for God’s glory. But I could not do it.

So was I willing to take the yoke of Jesus, even when it made no sense? When I did not understand? When I could not figure it out? When I did not know what God was doing? Could I do it? No. I could not. Absolutely no way.  So would I follow His lead and be His disciple in pure trust? Which is exactly what He wanted me to do. But I could not. Not at that point. I could not do it.

Why do I need to rest? What am I resting for? What are You doing, making me rest? Who am I resting for? What is it all about? My soul just asked question upon question upon question. I could not be still. I could not wait. I could not rest. I was in turmoil—continually. I was asking those questions—but really they were accusations. I was accusing God. What are You doing? Why are You doing this to me? It is unfair. I have done nothing to deserve this. I do not like it.

But—I got through November, December and January. I got through it. But I was pretty bad—emotionally. And then I got to February. And all I felt was: wait expectantly. Now—I was going to go into the dark cloud. Now—hope would return.

All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

Activation (excerpt)

I encourage you to just close your eyes.
Get relaxed.

You may want to lie down.
You can relax your body.

Begin by focusing on your breathing.
Breathe in slowly… and hold it…
Then breathe it out… slowly.

And as you breathe in… and breathe out…
Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.

As you begin to breathe in,
You are breathing in unconditional love—
The love of the Father for you,
As a son,
As a daughter,
As His child.

Breathe it in.

As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow
Through your whole being—
Touching every cell of your body,
Your mind,
Your emotions,
The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.

Let yourself be still,
And let God love on you.
Let Him show you how much He loves you.

As His love fills you,
Joy and peace come—
They overwhelm you,
They cocoon you.

All of His being begins to flow in you.
An atmosphere forms around you—
A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.

You are just resting in it.
Relaxing in it.

Be still.
Wait.
Rest.
Wait expectantly.

Whatever God wants to do with you—right now—
This is a safe place.

You can get out of the boat—figuratively.
You can choose to abandon yourself,
To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love,
Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful—
You can trust Him.

He is a good God,
And He wants the best for you.

Just go deeper and deeper into that love
As He restores first love to you.

You can sink deeper…
And deeper…

There may be things around you that you sense or feel.
Be willing to go deeper and deeper…
Into love.

445. Walking In The Spirit: A Journey Into Heavenly Realms

440. Unconditional Love – NO LIMITS

148. Be still and know

460. The Dark Cloud 2 | The Surprising Power of Surrender

Mike Parsons –

If you do not see the video, please click here.

God does not want to keep us at a distance. He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence—but that requires transformation.

Of course, Jesus wanted to share many things with His disciples, just as the Father desires to reveal amazing things to us. But we may not yet be ready to experience them. In John 16:12, Jesus said, “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” That was certainly true for me. God wanted to reveal so much, and eventually He did, but at the time I simply could not bear it.

There is revelation, truth, and encounter available to us—but, like the disciples, we may not be ready. It is not because we are unworthy or not good enough, but because our minds need renewing. There are still things in our souls that need to be dealt with so that we learn to trust God—not based on what we see or understand—but simply because He is God. Our relationship with Him must be based on who He is, not on what He does for us, nor on what we do for Him.

Visiting or Dwelling?

God prepares us to dwell with Him in face-to-face intimacy—not just to visit from time to time. At one stage, I was visiting His presence. I was engaging with the realms of heaven, but I was not able to engage with His person—at least, not until I had been through this process.

My encounters in the dark cloud were preparing me for what was to come, though I was completely unaware of that at the time. I did not know what He was doing, or what He was going to do. I thought I had experienced everything there was to experience—how wrong I was!

Once, during one of those dark cloud encounters, I saw my destiny scroll. There was an event marked on it by a blue flame. The Father called it the eternal flame. I was deeply curious—why was I being shown this? At the time, I had no idea it would relate to what I was about to walk through. I saw my life flash before me, leading up to that moment within the flame. I just knew that nothing would ever be the same again. But I did not know what it meant, or how it would unfold. God was showing me something important, something intriguing—an invitation. And, as I sometimes say, Jehovah Sneaky knew I would not be able to resist.

He did not tell me what He was going to do—He simply invited me to engage the eternal flame for a life-changing experience. A friend of mine later painted a picture of someone in a blue flame. When I saw it, it resonated so strongly—it felt as though she had painted me, right there in the midst of that flame that had changed my life.

True Identity and Redemptive Gifts

As part of that process, the Father wanted to reveal my true identity to me—an identity closely linked to my redemptive gift. That redemptive gift is how the Father has wired me, as a son, to engage with the world around me and to mature into His fullness. It is how I see, perceive, and interact with life.

My true identity is connected to my redemptive gift, but it needed to be freed from the performance-based, soul-driven tendencies that had developed through my life experiences. Trauma, nurture, and upbringing can all shape how that gift functions—often making it impure.

In my case, I was using my redemptive gift to create and validate my identity. My redemptive gift is prophet–teacher. That is not the same as the spiritual gift of prophecy. This kind of “prophet” describes how I perceive and process the world. And I am almost equally prophet and teacher—every redemptive gift survey I have done reflects that. That is how God wired me to function as a son: curious about how things work, with the ability to explain them to others. That is probably why He chose me to be a forerunner in heavenly engagement—to open up that realm for others. Hopefully I can share my experiences in a way that is not too weird, so that people can see what is available to them too.

But I had gained my identity and security from the knowledge I received by doing that. I was using my soul to engage heaven—to see and know what the Father was doing, which in itself is good. But my soul would not allow my spirit to engage heaven on its own. Though we are seated in heavenly places, the consciousness of my soul was limiting my spirit’s ability to dwell and remain there. I was tethered to myself, and to the earth.

The Surrender of Self

So the essence of who I was, redemptively, was being used to create a false identity—and to bring me security and independence from my spirit. What I discovered was that me, myself, and I had to surrender. My soul and spirit had to be separated so that they could be reintegrated into oneness—spirit, soul, and body—joined and one with God. From His perspective, we are already one with Him.

As it says in 1 Corinthians 6:17,19-20: “But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”

This is what God desires: union so complete that we are one. But I could not experience that union—because my soul would not allow it. In my own understanding, I was alienated.

The Mirror Bible puts it beautifully:
“In our union with Him, we are one spirit with the Lord. Do you not realise that your body, by design, is the sacred shrine of the Spirit of God echoing within you? You are not the sole owner of your life—you are bought and paid for. All of you is His. Live your life conscious of how irreplaceably priceless you are. You host God in your skin.”

Gifted by Design, Not Performance

God wants to free us from the need for our soul to find identity in works—what the Bible calls the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the path most of the world is on.

The purity of who we are redemptively must be tested and refined by fire. I believe our redemptive gifts will grow beyond just one or two, eventually reflecting all seven—to become more like Jesus. As the fruit of the Spirit matures in us, we will function more fully as sons—engaging not just in one way, but in every way.

The redemptive gifts listed in Romans 12:6–8 are prophet, servant, teacher, exhorter, giver, ruler, and mercy. These are not spiritual gifts for ministry. They are who we are. We are God’s gift to the world. The refining process reveals those gifts and frees us from the need to earn our identity through our own works. We can finally be who God intended—no longer performance-driven, trying to earn His favour.

That testing will look different for each of us. When I first studied redemptive gifts—through the teaching of Arthur Burk—I began to see how God uses testing to purify each one. When I taught on the ketubah in church, I warned people: If you go down this road, you will be tested.

I knew ruler-gift and servant-gift friends who had their ability to rule or serve removed—just like that. Then they had to face the question: Who am I without that? Who was I, without being able to see, understand, and teach?God was trying to show me: I am not who I am because of what I do, but because of who He made me to be. Even if I never did any of those things again, I would still be who I am.

A Restoration of Original Design

God took me through the dark cloud because He loves me.
He wanted to restore me to my original condition—so that I would know myself as He made me.
He wanted to bless me fully.
He wanted to reveal my heavenly identity and position as a son.
He wanted to release me into the fullness of sonship authority to engage creation.

But to do that, He had to do something quite drastic -it may be easier for you than it was for me.

All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

Activation: Resting in Unconditional Love

I encourage you to just close your eyes.
Get relaxed.

You may want to lie down.
You can relax your body.

Begin by focusing on your breathing.
Breathe in slowly… and hold it…
Then breathe it out… slowly.

And as you breathe in… and breathe out…
Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.

As you begin to breathe in,
You are breathing in unconditional love—
The love of the Father for you,
As a son,
As a daughter,
As His child.

Breathe it in.

As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow
Through your whole being—
Touching every cell of your body,
Your mind,
Your emotions,
The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.

Let yourself be still,
And let God love on you.
Let Him show you how much He loves you.

As His love fills you,
Joy and peace come—
They overwhelm you,
They cocoon you.

All of His being begins to flow in you.
An atmosphere forms around you—
A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.

You are just resting in it.
Relaxing in it.

Be still.
Wait.
Rest.
Wait expectantly.

Whatever God wants to do with you—right now—
This is a safe place.

You can get out of the boat—figuratively.
You can choose to abandon yourself,
To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love,
Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful—
You can trust Him.

He is a good God,
And He wants the best for you.

Just go deeper and deeper into that love
As He restores first love to you.

You can sink deeper…
And deeper…

There may be things around you that you sense or feel.
Be willing to go deeper and deeper…
Into love.

https://freedomarc.blog/?author=0

459. The Dark Cloud 1 | Why Would God Hide From Us?

Tuesday 29 July 2025, 1:00 pm 0 boosts 0 favorites

281. Scroll of Destiny: Just Being

217. Redemptive Gifts (1)

207. Restored to Original Condition

459. The Dark Cloud 1 | Why Would God Hide From Us?

Mike Parsons – 

Not able to see the video above? Please click here.

Where do we get our value from? Where do we get our identity from?

What I discovered on this journey of restored first love and identity was that I had been getting my value, worth and identity from what I was doing. And therefore, if I was not doing those things, I struggled with how I felt about myself.

Lessons from Hebrew Marriage

We have been exploring the restoration of first love through the lens of the six aspects of Hebrew marriage found in the Old Testament. God revealed to Israel that He desired a marriage relationship with them. However, they failed to accept that invitation. Instead, they set up their own system of Hebrew marriage, based on what they believed God had done—but something was missing: relationship.

It became a relationship based on contract, not covenant.

We looked at:

  • The Garden (Lakah) – God drawing us into intimacy and revealing His love
  • The Dance Floor (Segullah) – where He entwines with us, revealing our identity and destiny
  • The Mikveh – the soaking room of preparation and transformation, where He prepares us to come into His presence
  • The Ketubah – the covenant of relationship (which, in my case, I initially misunderstood and approached from the soul)
  • The Kiddushin – the betrothal, the dark cloud of surrender
  • The Huppah – the bridal chamber, the consummation of deeper union

False Identity

I was on a journey to have my first love identity revealed, which meant my false soul identity had to be exposed. I did not know who I truly was, and therefore, I was operating in the power of the soul. The soaking room began that process; the dark cloud completed it.

Today, I want to talk about that dark cloud experience—what led to it, how it unfolded, and how it changed everything. The Father’s goal was intimacy and union—symbolised by marriage and consummation in the bridal chamber—which would lead to a face-to-face experience of God’s person, far beyond experiencing His presence.

Into the Dark Cloud

I reached a point on my journey where the soaking and fire of preparation were drawing me towards the bridal chamber—to that consummation, to deeper intimacy, truth and knowledge than I had ever imagined. But first came the dark cloud of separation and reintegration of soul and spirit, which brought about total surrender of the soul. That was, without doubt, one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life—but also the most beneficial.

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Exposing the Thoughts and Intentions

This transformation revealed the need for that separation and reintegration. It exposed the thoughts and intentions of my heart, which were so soulish that I was shocked by my own reactions when God tested me. But He did it for my good, knowing that it was the only way to bring me into my true identity and reveal His true nature to me.

It was incredibly hard. The motives of my heart were mixed. Some of my intentions were shaped by the programming of wrong religious belief systems. Those flawed intentions were exposed when I attempted to make a ketubah—a marriage contract—with God, instead of entering into the new covenant that had already been prepared for me to be included in. The whole process had been flawed from the beginning, and it brought to light the root of my soulish motivations.

The Father used those stages to help me see the false perspective of the soul, in contrast with my true identity—created in His image and likeness, as a son. The flaws in my thoughts and intentions became apparent when I tried to make demands of God—rather than surrendering to relationship and trusting Him.

Contract vs Covenant

That is the problem with a contract—it does not rest on trust. A contract says, “If you do this, I will do that.” These are your demands; these are mine. And if one party fails to meet those conditions, that is seen as marital unfaithfulness and could bring the relationship to an end—because it was never based on trust.

That is what I discovered. I might have claimed I trusted God, and believed I did, but the truth was my relationship with Him was not built on trust. It was built on reward: being rewarded for what I was doing and drawing my identity from my works for God.

Now, none of the things I was doing were wrong in themselves—but I was doing them from the wrong motivation. I was driven by a need for self-validation. I found that I could trust God only when I understood what He was doing. If I did not understand, I could not trust. I did not realise that until He revealed it to me—and when He did, it absolutely shocked me.

Some of my intentions were definitely performance-driven, not pure.

The Nature of the Dark Cloud

My dark cloud experience will be different from yours. You might not go through the same darkness and inability to see that I did. Others have shared different stories of how God brought them to deeper relationship. But I do believe we all must experience a separation and reintegration of soul and spirit.

We are all born into this world with our souls shaped from the outside in. Everything we learned about ourselves, the world and even God came through our physical senses. Our soul interpreted that data and built a worldview, a belief system, based on upbringing, experience and, often, religious or educational systems.

God wanted to bring me—and wants to bring each of us—into the bridal chamber for consummation, into a face-to-face encounter with the Father’s person. For that to happen, He must reorient our inner being so that our relationship is led by the spirit and not the soul. It must move from spirit to soul, not the other way round—so that we can be joined to the Lord and become one spirit with Him.

The Season of Preparation

After a period of soaking and fire around August 2011, in which I had some profound soaking room experiences, then between August and October 2011, in times of corporate worship, I began to experience what felt like a thick, dark cloud. I did not understand what it was. I was not afraid—but I was confused and disoriented. What was going on? Why was I having these experiences? What was happening? I asked a lot of questions.

Why Would God Hide?

So I began to look into it—what are dark clouds all about? I started exploring the significance of dark clouds in Scripture, and what I found was that God hides within a dark cloud to protect us from the intensity of His presence before we are fully prepared and ready to meet Him face to face.

This is not God keeping us away—this is God protecting us, but also preparing us. He draws us into His presence by leading us through a dark cloud of trust. The question becomes: will I trust Him enough to go through that dark cloud to enter into His presence—or will I back off, be afraid, and run from the experience?

Israel’s Encounter

In Deuteronomy 4:11, we read about Israel’s experience:

“You came forward and stood at the foot of the mountain. The mountain was burning with fire to the heart of the heavens—darkness, cloud and thick gloom.”

Of course they were afraid. They had spent 400 years in Egypt, in bondage, with little to no real relationship with God. And when they came out of that, they carried so much of Egypt with them—control, manipulation and fear. So, when God invited them up the mountain to meet Him, they were afraid. They drew back, and they failed to accept that invitation.

The Glory in the Cloud

In 2 Samuel 22:12, it says:

He made darkness canopies around Him, massive waters, thick clouds of the sky.

And in 1 Kings 8:10,

When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the Lord, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house.

Now, when we think of the glory of the Lord, we usually think of light—but actually, God had to protect them from the fullness of His glory, from the intensity of His essence, from the blinding light of His presence. Solomon understood this. In verse 12, he said,

“The Lord has said that He would dwell in the thick darkness.”

So Solomon recognised that this thick cloud was not hiding God out of reluctance, but protecting the people. Even in that cloud, they could not stand—the weight of God’s presence was too great. But within that dark cloud, when God came to occupy the Holy of Holies, He was actually shielding them from the light of His presence—until Jesus came to reveal the light as the Light of the World, to reveal the true nature of God.

All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books

Hidden in Mystery

Psalm 18:11 says, He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him, darkness of waters, thick clouds.

The Passion Translation renders it this way:

Wrapped in thick cloud-darkness, His thunder-tabernacle surrounded Him. He hid Himself in mystery-darkness. The dense rain clouds were His garments.

This is an invitation. God is calling us into that mystery—to see whether we will trust Him. Are we willing to go through the dark cloud in order to encounter His person?

Psalm 97:2: Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.

So why does God hide in a dark cloud? Because without it, He is unapproachable light. But He desires to prepare us so that we can approach Him in that light.

From Cloud to Light

Eventually, when I went into that light—having been prepared and having passed through the dark cloud—I could not remain there for even a fraction of a second. It was far too intense for me at that time, because the process of deconstruction and the renewal of my mind was still ongoing.

But I returned—and now I dwell in that approachable light. I dwell in the realm of light, in perfection. I abide there. It is my home, constantly, continually. And that was only possible because I went through the dark cloud. My soul and spirit were separated, then reintegrated. I was reconnected. And now, I can dwell in the realms of heaven continually.

Hidden Until We Are Ready

Interestingly, the Hebrew word for thick and dark is the same. It means that God is unseen or hidden from our direct sight—until we are ready, until we are prepared to meet Him face to face. And that is our destiny. That is the purpose of restoring first love. God does not want to keep us at a distance—but He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence. And that requires transformation.

Activation: Guided Meditation

I encourage you to just close your eyes.
Get relaxed.

You may want to lie down.
Just begin to relax your body.

You may want to start focusing on your breathing.
Breathe in slowly… and hold it…
Then breathe it out slowly.

And as you are breathing in and breathing out,
Begin to focus your thinking on God,
The Father, who is love.

As you begin to breathe in,
You are breathing in unconditional love—
The love of the Father for you
As a son, as a daughter, as a child.

Breathe it in…
And as you breathe it in,
That unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being—
Touching every cell of your body:
Your mind,
Your emotions,
The whole of your soul, spirit and body.

So you can be still…
And let God love on you.
Let Him show you how much He loves you.

As His love fills you,
Let joy and peace come and overwhelm you—
Cocoon you.
Let all of His being begin to flow in you.
An atmosphere forms around you—
A cocoon of love, joy and peace
That you are just resting in,
Relaxing in.

Be still.
Wait.
Just rest.
Just wait—expectantly—
For whatever God wants to do with you right now.

This is a safe place.
You can get out of that boat—figuratively.
You can choose to abandon yourself:
Sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love,
Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful,
That you can trust Him—
That He is a good God—
That He wants the best for you.

Just go deeper and deeper into that love,
As He restores that first love to you.

You can sink deeper…
And deeper…
There may be things around you that you sense or feel.
Be willing to go deeper and deeper into love.

336. Get out of the boat… and SINK!

274. Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit (1)

275. Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit (2)

 

 

452. Your Authority Will Increase

Mike Parsons

If you do not see the video above, please click here.

God just wanted relationship. He did not make a contract but invited them into a covenant relationship. He did not want a business arrangement—He desired a relationship of love.

In the context of Hebrew marriage, the bride and her father, and the groom and his father, would come together to make an agreement. This agreement defined the boundaries of the marriage. The bride could include anything she wished in the ketubah, as long as the groom agreed, and vice versa. Once both agreed, the contract became binding. These were the terms of their union, and to break them was considered ‘marital unfaithfulness’.

Marital unfaithfulness was not limited to adultery. It meant breaking the agreed terms of the contract, which is why people could issue divorces for such breaches. This was a contractual arrangement—not a relationship. Once the agreement was made, the couple would stand and face each other. The groom would say to the bride, “I go to prepare a place for you, that where I am, you may be also.” He was referring to preparing a new room at his father’s house, a place for them to live, joined to the family home. This is the context we see reflected in John 14.

The bride would then ask, “When will you come back to receive me unto yourself?” The groom’s response would be, “I do not know the day or the hour, but when my father approves the wedding chamber, he will send me back to receive you unto myself.” These words should sound familiar—Jesus used them (in John 14).

These words place Jesus’ death on the cross within the context of marriage and covenant. “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places…”—this is all part of the same imagery. The new covenant is a preparation for us to become a place of intimacy, a marriage dwelling, so that God can live in us. On the day of resurrection, they would know that Jesus was in the Father, they were in Him, and He in them—this wonderful union that was to take place.

So what Jesus taught, as recorded by John, would have been clearly understood in terms of covenant. They would have recognised that God still wants to marry us. That is such an amazing truth.

This is an excerpt from Mike’s current teaching series, ‘Restoring First Love.’ Get the full series up to date, plus a new session each month as they are released, at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

The ‘Ten Commandments’ as Covenant Invitation

Now think about the ‘Ten Commandments’ as a marriage invitation. The ketubah was God’s promises to His people—not His expectations of them. Have we made vows or promises to God as if entering a contract? Do we have expectations of God based on that contract? I did—wrongly. I made my ketubah with wrong intentions and motivations.

If you have made vows to God based on performance, I encourage you: retract those vows. Do not let those past vows become a hindrance or restriction to your future. God is not looking for vows. He is looking for relationship.

We need to see the Ten Commandments from the right perspective, and understand ketubah and our relationship with God. Many people still live under a mistaken Old Covenant view of God. The commandments were never meant to be a restrictive set of rules—they were the foundations of a relationship intended to bring freedom.

From Slavery to Sonship

Remember, these people had been slaves for 430 years—a heritage of slavery where their opinions did not matter. Every day for 430 years they rose to make bricks, beaten at their masters’ whim, treated as inhuman. Seven days a week, twelve hours a day, every single day of the year. They had no human rights. They were property.

The Ten Commandments were God’s way of helping a nation of slaves rediscover their true identity. He was not trying to control them. He was forming a culture based on His way of living—a culture so attractive that the world would look at it and desire it for themselves.

It was also a wedding proposal. God was proposing marriage to a people who still thought like slaves. In this new culture, God respected their dignity—unlike Pharaoh or their former masters, who could abuse or kill them at a whim. God honours His image in us. But it is very difficult to live as a son while still thinking like a slave or an orphan. God wants to heal us from these ways of thinking, from these internal emotional bondages.

The Ten Commandments were truth given to free them, not laws designed to control them. That is still true today. God does not want us to live in fear, under a legalistic system. After centuries of oppression, this was a radical shift.

“You shall not steal.” No one thought of that as a restrictive rule. In the new culture, it meant you cannot take things from me just because you can. That alone would have been an incredible revelation. But there is an even deeper meaning to these stipulations within the ketubah. It carried the implication: You do not need to steal—this relationship contains all your needs and provision.

That beautiful verse in 2 Corinthians 9:8 says, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” That is God’s provision within the relationship. He wants us to be blessed—empowered to prosper and succeed in every area of life.

This remains true under the new covenant. Matthew 6:33: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” If we simply pursue God in relationship, everything we need will be added. There is no need to strive in our own strength.

All they knew was four hundred years of slavery. When they heard “You shall take a day off,” imagine how that must have sounded. They had not had a day off in 430 years. Yet God was saying, Take a day off every week! He was teaching them that their identity and value did not come from how many bricks they could make or how productive they were. Their worth was rooted in the relationship. But sadly, they did not value themselves as He did.

“You shall not lie.” In the new culture, integrity in business and relationships mattered. Corruption was not good trade, because no one wants to deal with someone they cannot trust.

God was not trying to make them good by restricting them.
He was trying to make them free.

He was showing them that there was a different way to live—freedom, not bondage. He was not presenting conditions for His love. You do not propose to someone you do not already love. This was God’s marriage proposal, His invitation to a love relationship with Him.

Unconditional Love – new book out now
Mike Parsons’ new book, Unconditional Love, is out now. Order it from your favourite local or online bookseller today, or get the ebook instantly from our website. More details at eg.freedomarc.org/books.

A Relationship Built on Love, Not Law

God is not and was not trying to make us good. Compared to whom—Him? He was and is trying to make us free. His whole goal was to deliver people from slavery, from whatever held them captive, and to bring them into freedom. He was not offering a list of requirements for acceptance, not a series of how-to steps to qualify for heaven one day. This was about enjoying relationship with Him now—in all its wonder, freedom and joy.

God never intended to establish a relationship through fear and guilt. He is not saying, You must marry me whether you love me or not. We love because He first loved us.

The law says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength, and your neighbour as yourself.” Jesus says, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Just allow Him to love you. That love will empower you to love others.

God has always wanted to form relationship out of freedom, not restriction. His laws, rules and principles were not conditions for relationship; they were confirmations of His desire for us to live our best life within that relationship. Relationship establishes relationship. You do not establish a relationship through rules. If you do, it is not a true relationship. True relationship is always built on love. God’s grace promises keep us safe and secure within that covenant of love.

This was a radically new concept for them—and perhaps even for us. It certainly was for me.

The First Word: Intimacy and Increase

“I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before me.” In Hebrew, this begins with the words Anokhi Yahweh Elohim.

God wanted to create a culture in which everyone possessed basic dignity, as children made in the image of God. A culture so good that the whole world would desire what they had. He was establishing a community of people who would become a light to the Gentiles and would one day bring forth the Messiah through a new covenant.

Of course, they got it wrong—completely. They did not enter into a relationship of grace and love. Instead, they entered a system based on rules and law, in which they believed they had to earn relationship with God by making sacrifices and offerings.

God wanted a culture and values in place so salvation would come to the whole world; to establish a kind of life in a community of people so the world could see what God’s love is really like. I do not believe the church today has truly presented to the world who God really is and what his love is like.

So the first word of the ‘Ten Commandments’ is anochi. Four Hebrew letters: alef, nun, chet and yod. Hebrew was originally a pictorial language. Each word is like a comic strip of images. Alef is the image of an ox-head in a yoke—representing strength and authority. Nun is a fish—symbolising multiplication and fruitfulness. Chet is a fence or hedge—indicating boundaries, protection, or separation. Yod is an upraised hand—the first letter of Judah, meaning praise or submission.

So the very first word of God’s covenant invitation, anokhi, communicates this: Your authority will increase inside the hedge of praise and submission.

“I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before me.” Why would they want other gods, when He was offering them a relationship where their authority would grow within the protective hedge of praise and trust? That single phrase sums up the invitation of the ketubah—an invitation into covenant relationship. I am the Lord your God, choosing to bless you with freedom from slavery—not because of anything you have done, but because I love you. And I want the whole world to know that I am a loving God.

Reclaiming the Heart of the ‘Commandments’

This is the power contained in the very first word of what we now call the Ten Commandments. Religion has turned it into “Thou shalt not…” But what if we reimagined that? What if our lives became a response to anokhi?

If we truly knew that we have authority within the wonderful hedge of God’s love and protection, we would live differently. We would be a people who turn the world upside down by being authentic, generous, compassionate and kind—committed to helping the poor, the sick, the disadvantaged. And that was the early Church. That was their testimony. It changed the world. It spread across the known world within a generation. Amazing.

What would that look like today?

Activation: Let the Father Lead You

Some of you may desire to experience the Father and let the Father lead you. If so, begin to fix your eyes and thoughts upon the Father,
seeing him face to face.

Let those thoughts form in your imagination.
There is a door in your spirit.
Choose to open that door.
Invite the Father in—
to hug you,
to breathe his very breath into you.

Breathe in… and breathe out.

Breathe in deeply the unconditional love of the Father.

As you breathe it in,
just as oxygen is absorbed by the lungs into the bloodstream,
let the unconditional love of God begin to fill every part of your whole being, flowing through you.

You can just be still,
as God loves you and loves on you.

 

 

448. The Truth of Who We Are

Mike Parsons

Not seeing the video above? Please click here.

The Spirit of the Fear of the Lord led me to a waterfall so high that I could not see the bottom. I felt it was an invitation to go deeper. So, I stepped off. I took a step of faith and ended up gently floating down that waterfall. It was a wonderful experience, because I was again being soaked in love and in God’s voice—speaking words of affirmation over me—until I came down into a pool in the Father’s garden.

I entered that pool, and on the surface, it was very turbulent because of the waterfall pouring into it. I sank into the pool. I did not stop to think about it—I just sank. As I went down, I reached a point where I was suspended in the water, and it was as if grace and truth were swirling all around me, enveloping me. It felt as though something deep was happening in my life, although I was not fully aware of what it was.

Then I sank deeper. Again, I stopped—suspended—and other truths came around me and enveloped me. I went deeper and deeper, and each of these suspensions at different depths were stages I would later come to understand as steps of ascension into maturity. I was going through them, being prepared for the future. This was part of the process of coming into mature sonship.

It was an amazing experience. I can vividly remember it—the swirling energy, the life, wrapping round me and enveloping me—until I sank even deeper. Not to the very bottom exactly, but then I drifted off in a current that took me into a tunnel, right into the eternal perichoresis, the eternal now. That was the first time I had ever been there. A totally overwhelming experience. I could not stay there—my mind simply could not adapt to it—but it was wonderful. Again, it was preparation for what was to come.

So, God brought about such a transformation and such preparation for the future. It was wonderful.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “We are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” This is God’s desire—that he would transform us, change us, and bring us out of the wrong ways we may have thought about ourselves, so that we would carry the weight of the glory of our true identity.

And it is step by step by step. For me, it was a long process of change in order to display my glory. For all of us, there will be a process. I do not know how long it will take for you—as long as it takes. But we are to display our glory, because creation will be set free from its corruption and bondage into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

So, it is absolutely vital that we display our glory—not to puff ourselves up or become proud, but to simply be ourselves. Our glorious identity is the manifest presence of God on earth, as it is in heaven. In us, as his ambassadors, God displays himself. We are living epistles—living letters—representing him, demonstrating his love on earth as we have received it in heaven.

We can choose to embrace and pursue this process of change and become mature, or we can stay as babies, toddlers or infants—depending on what stage we are in—for as long as we choose. But I would encourage each of you: embrace the fire. Embrace the process. Do not hide from it—pursue it. Ask God to take you through whatever journey you need to be on, to bring you to the place where you really know the truth of who you are.

The truth of who we are

Our identity has been shaped by the realm we have lived in, and from the understanding we have received in the realm of our soul. That needs to be transformed so that the truth of who we are in the spirit can be revealed. This whole process gets us ready for the separation of soul and spirit, and their reintegration.

Hebrews 4:12–13 says, “For the Word of God—Jesus—is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do.”

God sees it all. Are we willing to see it as well? Are we willing to embrace this process, so that he can be living and active in our lives—dividing, judging the thoughts and intentions of our hearts?

The Mirror Bible puts it this way:

“The message God spoke to us in Christ is the most life-giving and dynamic influence in us, cutting like a surgeon’s scalpel, sharper than a soldier’s sword, piercing to the deepest core of human conscience.”

That is where it needs to go—to the dividing of soul and spirit—ending the dominance of the sense realm and its neutralising effect upon the human spirit, which suppresses our true identity.

In this way, a person’s spirit is freed to become the ruling influence again in the thoughts and intentions of their heart. So, we begin to take on our identity as sons, ruling in love—our thoughts and intentions motivated and directed by love.

The scrutiny of this Word detects every possible disease, discerning the body’s deepest secrets where joint and marrow meet. This is talking about going deep into our lives—to those hidden places—to reveal the truth of those places.

The moment we cease from our own efforts to justify ourselves—by yielding to the integrity of the message that announces the success of the cross—God’s Word is triggered into action. And that is what happens when we come to that point of surrender.

Unconditional Love – new book out now
Mike Parsons’ new book, Unconditional Love, is out on 20 June 2025. Order it from your favourite local or online bookseller today, or get the ebook instantly from our website. More details at eg.freedomarc.org/books.

Ask yourself the question: are you living in, and have you experienced, the unconditional love of God? Has it transformed how you think about yourself and how you view God?

If it has not, embrace it again. Engage with it again. Ask God to reveal it to you, unveil it to you, show you the truth of who he really is. Because God wants to show you who he really is—so that you can really know who you really are.

Activation: Immersed in Unconditional Love

So I encourage you just to close your eyes.
Seek to come to a place of rest.

You may start to breathe more deeply, more slowly…
Think, and fix your heart and eyes and desires
upon experiencing God’s love— engaging first love.

Begin to breathe in…
deeply… and slowly…
And as you do, breathe in the love of God.
And hold that breath…
Let that breath—
and the love within it—
touch you deep within.

And breathe out slowly…

Breathe in…
and breathe out…

Breathe in deeply…
the unconditional love of the Father.

As you breathe it in,
just like oxygen gets absorbed by the lungs into the bloodstream,
let the unconditional love of God
begin to fill every part of your whole being…

Flowing through you…

And just be still
as God loves you
and loves on you.

This is a safe place,
cocooned within love.
You can make that choice
to abandon yourself to unconditional love…
sinking in the vast ocean of God’s love for you…

Deeper and deeper into love…
experiencing new levels of restored first love…

Sinking deeper and deeper into the truth
of who God is…
his unconditional love…
and who you are as his children…

Birthed in love,
created in love…

Vast sums of thoughts of love about you.

Feel free to stay in that place
as long as you want
Enjoying the joy of his presence—
and his unconditional love.

258. The Glory of the Children of God

398. Embrace Transformation and Renewal

274. Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit (1)

275. Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit (2)

446. Embrace Love’s Fire

Mike Parsons

“To discover truth, we must be willing to  put pleasant illusions and traditional preconceptions on the back burner for the sake of truth. We have to position ourselves to let truth declare itself to us – the whole truth  and nothing but the truth.” – Don Keathley.

If we are going to receive that truth, know that truth, the truth that will totally set us free, then we must be willing for it to challenge some of the things we currently or previously have believed. Do not hold on to doctrine and theology so strongly that they keep you from the truth and keep you in bondage. On this journey, you will often have to leave what you know in order to walk through the door of what you do not know. Few are willing to do that. It is a risk. It is a challenge—to leave the comfort of what you believe and what you think you know to go through a door into something unknown.

The first time I started to engage in heaven, I did not know where I was. I did not know what I was doing. I did not know anything, other than the fact that the experience was so real, so life-changing, and I was so challenged, encouraged and overwhelmed by it that I wanted more. I pursued with all my heart more of that type of encounter with God because it was so powerful. But I had to be willing to leave behind what I thought I knew in order to continue having those experiences.

So God took me through a process to make me ready to live that way—not just to have one encounter. A couple of years later, I entered into deeper encounters.

Restoring First Love

I have been sharing about restoring first love—what it means to be restored back to our origin in God, who has loved us from the beginning and wants to restore us to our original identity in him—our true identity as sons of God, in relationship with him, within the perichoresis of God’s Father, Son and Spirit relationship.

So I have been sharing what happened to me on this journey. It began around 2010 to 2012, in this particular aspect of it. In 2008, I first encountered heaven, and God began to prepare me, even then, for what was coming. But I knew so little back then—when I think about what I know now. And that was a good thing, because it meant I could not try to help God out. I did not know what I was doing. I did not understand much of what I was experiencing. So I just went with it and let the experiences change me.

I have shared how God used that process to restore me to first love, to reveal my true origin—my true self, my authentic self. People call these things different names—in him, in eternity, before I was ever here.

And I thought I had gone as far as I could. I thought, Yes, this is it. How could there be anything more than this wonderful love that I am experiencing, this wonderful relationship that I am in? But there were always greater depths—more to go beyond into. And God challenged me never to be content with where I was, because there was always a beyond, and a beyond beyond beyond that beyond. God is able to do more—exceedingly, abundantly more—than I could ever ask or imagine.

So there were many areas where I entered in, but God always took me further. And I am so grateful for that, because if I had settled and been content with the wonderful things I had then, I would have missed out on the amazing things I have experienced since. But I had to go through a process to enable me to go beyond and into those depths. I surrendered all.

Mike’s latest book, Unconditional Love, is out now as an ebook on our website and available to order in paperback from your local or online bookseller.

More details at eg.freedomarc.org/books

I Surrender All

I do not know if you have ever sung that song—I Surrender All. I have sung it many, many times. I have said to God, I surrender all. I want you to be Lord of my life. I want you to be Lord of everything. And I meant it. But I found there was always more to surrender. There was always more that I did not know, but God did. And God was never going to leave me in that place, because he wants me to fully embrace who I really am—who he made me to be.

So God took me through this process—the marriage, the wooing of the garden, the lakah, when he looked into my eyes; the revealing of the dance floor, segullah; the preparation of the mikvah, the soaking room. And then comes the ketubah, the huppah, the covering of the betrothal, and finally, the consummation huppah, in the bridal chamber. And when I entered that place, so much into the very person of God—nothing was ever the same again.

But this was a journey. It did not happen overnight. I did not understand it all at the time. But now I realise what God was doing. And I am so grateful for the refiner’s fire I went through to prepare me to enter into the dark cloud. I had experienced God’s presence. I had engaged with Jesus. I had engaged with the Holy Spirit. I had engaged with the Father. But this was to go into a place—in the light of God’s person—face to face. I had no idea what that meant. But the preparation eventually took me there.

The Father continually led me to encounter various places of fire to prepare me: the fire stones, the river of fire, the altar of fire, the judgment seat of fire. They were all experiences like being in a crucible.

Refiner’s Fire

Now, a crucible is where precious metals are purified and refined. In the soaking room, the fire of love judges us to life—testing the quality of our identity and revealing our true destiny. Our soul is purified of the wood, hay and straw of dead works, revealing gold, silver and precious stones—our true sonship identity. It is a purification process of love.

Hebrews 12:29 says, Our God is a consuming fire. Relationship with love always transforms us—if we stay in the place of heat and do not try to escape the crucible.

Refining with fire is one of the oldest methods of refining metals. In ancient times, this involved a craftsman sitting next to a hot fire with molten gold in a crucible, being stirred and skimmed to remove impurities—the dross that rose to the top of the molten metal. Flames would reach temperatures exceeding 1,000°C. It is hot. And it was hot. And what comes to the surface? All the dross. As it heats up, more and more impurities rise to the surface.

If you want to be nine-carat gold, then you get out of the crucible after a while. If you want to be eighteen-carat gold, you can stop the process a bit later. Or if you want to be pure gold—when that surface becomes like a mirror that totally reflects what the craftsman is looking for—then you stay. Pure gold.

Are we willing to be refined and purified? Are we willing to be metamorphosed into our true identity as sons of God? It will require heat. And that may be restrictive. It may be difficult for the soul to experience. The refiner’s fire works through the crucible. The more the wind blows—the wind of the Spirit—the hotter the flames burn. To enter glory, we must go through the fire of transformation.

Are we willing to look into the fire in his eyes? Are we willing to embrace the fiery sword of judgment in his mouth? Not judgment to death, but to life. To engage with the fiery words that pass loving verdict on the dross in our lives, so it can be removed—so we can be free, whole.

Are we willing to be living sacrifices? Are we willing to embrace the altar? It can be really difficult. But the fire from the altar can touch our lives and change us. When Isaiah describes his experience, he says, I am a man of unclean lips among a people of unclean lips. But the coal purged his lips. And what did he say in the end? Here am I. Send me.

That is what God desires—to bring us to a place where we are so in love with him that we are willing to say, Here am I. Send me. Our focus and purpose shift, so that we become an expression of sonship for God’s glory, led by the Spirit—not driven by the soul. Not putting ourselves first, but embracing the reality of who we truly are. Embracing first love. Embracing the true reality of our true identity.

So I surrendered.

Embrace Love’s Fire

 

Spend just a couple of minutes thinking about this, because it is not an insignificant thing. You cannot go into it half-heartedly—because who knows what the fire might do? Ultimately, it is going to purify and refine, and it will be good. But it might be difficult when we have to face the reality
of the things that have been hidden in our lives, things that need to come to the surface, things that need to be purified and refined.

So I just encourage you to close your eyes, come to a place of rest,
where you begin to focus your thinking on God’s love, on the fire of God’s love—that God’s unconditional love is his purifying, consuming fire.

Now if you are willing to be that living sacrifice, to embrace the fire, then just tell the Father. Tell him that you are willing to be a living sacrifice, that you want him to place you on the altar, put you in the crucible, that you are willing for the fire of his love to transform you, change you.

He is love.
You are surrounded by his love right now.
It is a safe place.
You can choose to embrace the fire.

Father, I would just ask right now
that you would take each of us by the hand and lead us,
lead us into the realms of heaven that are open,
lead us to a place of engaging your fire.
Lead us to the river of fire where we can be baptised in fire.
Lead us to the altar where we can be a living sacrifice.
Lead us to the judgment seat
where our scroll can be opened
and we can look into the fire of your eyes.

Father, just lead us to the place that we need to be.

Put us in the crucible and let the fire increase —
the heat of your presence.
Let the Spirit, the wind of the Spirit, would blow,
that it heat up as bellows would heat up a furnace,
that everything in our lives that is not of you
would be consumed by this fire.
That things would begin to be released
from the very deepest depths of our soul.

Father, we surrender and embrace the fire.
Let your fire consume us,
consume everything of self in our soul.

Prepare us to enter that dark cloud of your presence.
Purify our hearts, O God.

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434. God’s Fiery Love

421. Belief to Reality | Living in the Truth

212. Who We Really Are

Into the Dark Cloud

427. Align with the Divine!

Mike Parsons

Not seeing the video? Please click here.

The person of God

Going in to meet the person of God—that is an experience beyond any other I’ve ever had. I could never have entered into that in the state I was in, but God began to change me, prepare me, in all those things in the soaking room, so I could get to that place where I was able to meet Him face to face. Now, I’d met God in many different ways, but there’s a difference between engaging the presence of God and engaging the person of God.

Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis is a process that produces transformation. Not only do things get removed, but things also get changed, added, to enable us to go into deeper levels of intimacy. So we have the ability to live in multi-dimensional realms, in the fullness of our eternal nature and identity.

An example in nature of metamorphosis is the transformation of a tadpole into a frog. It hatches from spawn and begins life restricted to water, breathing through gills—but that’s not God’s intention for it, that’s just the beginning. The tadpole eventually loses its gills and tail, develops legs and a new respiratory system, so as a frog it can be free from restrictions and live in both water and on land. A butterfly goes through a similar process—starting as a caterpillar, restricted to crawling on the earth, but changing through the chrysalis into something that is free to fly.

These are symbolic of the change and transformation that’s needed. We also go through a similar transformation that removes, adds, and restores abilities.

Many times in the Bible, you’ll find characters placed in a place of restriction to prepare them for their destiny. Now, sometimes people really struggle with that. They find it really difficult—to be restricted. They think God is putting that restriction on them in a negative way. But it is a positive thing when God places us in a position that brings about the change and transformation needed in our lives.

Some examples of that—Jacob under Laban, where he was looking to receive his wife, and there were all these conditions put on him, and tricks and everything else, but it produced character in him. Moses in the wilderness—he was called, but lived in the wilderness until he was able to take his position, after he had matured. David in Adullam’s cave—called for the kingdom, but in this place with a group of misfits, and God used that. Jeremiah was in anguish of soul, but came out into a place of fulfilling his destiny.

And then Joseph and Esther—they were also prepared. Joseph was prepared in the pit—his brothers threw him into the pit. How difficult must that have been? Then in slavery, in stewardship, and in prison—the prison of obscurity—until the time was right when his dreams and destiny would be fulfilled. Joseph, in his father’s house, was never going to fulfil his destiny. It was Joseph who’d gone through the process of change and transformation, who grew, who matured, who would end up in leadership in Egypt—in a way beyond what we’d have thought possible. But God prepared him, took him through seeming injustice and different situations that so challenged him—and yet he remained humble through those situations.

Esther went through 12 months of preparation before she could come before the king. That was so difficult. I’ve engaged Esther in the spirit—I’ve engaged her in the cloud of witnesses. I asked her, “What was it like?” And she said, “I didn’t want to be prepared to go and see the king.” That was not something a young Jewish girl would ever have wanted—to be a concubine of a king, a foreign king. But God had a purpose for Esther that would bring about the salvation of her people.

So it’s really important we don’t just look at the external circumstances of our life and think, “This is terrible. How can I get out of this?” We need to understand that sometimes, places of restriction are the places of greatest transformation.

For our soul to be prepared, there needs to be an identification of the things in our lives that are hindrances—coping mechanisms, defence mechanisms, trauma—and all of that leads us to a place of surrender. We surrender our independence. We learn to trust the Father for our provision, protection and direction in life. We’re no longer going to do it by the DIY tree path.

This video and blog post are taken from Mike’s current teaching series, Restoring First Love. Get the full-length videos every month, ad-free and with many extras, only at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

Realign with our divine origin

Our spirits, souls and bodies realign with our divine origin—get realigned and brought into union and oneness with each other and with God. The identification of our false identity and any works- or performance-based orientation gives us the opportunity to find our true origin and redemptive gifts.

There’s preparation for glorious sonship in restored First Love, and creation is longing and waiting for the revealing of the sons of God—for the revealing of our true nature and how that can bring freedom to the whole of creation.

So the soaking room experiences began to engage my body, they began to engage my soul, to prepare my body to radiate glory and my soul to operate in light. This soaking begins to realign the frequencies of our being, to restore resonance with God, with our true identity—harmony and balance to our whole being.

We experience the sound and light frequencies of glory—God’s nature—for transfiguration from one degree of glory to another. We don’t stay the same. We increase in glory. So we increase in the full revelation of who we are, and begin to express that and live from that place.

Now literally, excitation of light waves of specific frequencies causes our DNA photons to be energised and transformed. That light is God Himself. We begin to be transfigured in light by God, who is light. We become sons of light, living in physical and emotional harmony, health and wholeness—and it all happens by the presence of God.

The symbols of the things in soaking are symbols of God’s presence—of God Himself. God as our Father is calling us to embrace the restrictions of transformation, to receive the freedom of our sonship. And it’s so important that we receive that freedom, so we can receive the full revelation of our eternal destiny—to live trans- and multi-dimensional existences, fully embracing all of the eternal characteristics of sonship that are our eternal identity, our true authentic self.

John 3:30 says, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Now I’ve heard that preached as if it’s something we need to beat ourselves up about—as if we need to put ourselves on the cross every day. It doesn’t mean that. He reveals in me what is like Him—I embrace that. He takes away from me what is not like Him—I embrace that. It’s not something I have to try and do, like “I’ve got to decrease,” as if I’m nobody and nothing and with this sort of false humility. No—this is allowing Him to increase. Therefore, if He increases, then everything that’s not like Him falls away.

So I learn to surrender, where I can present myself to Him—I can be changed, conformed to sonship through this whole process by allowing Him to soak me in His presence.

So, what is soaking? Soaking is to make or allow something to become thoroughly wet by immersing it in liquid—that’s the dictionary definition: to immerse, to steep, to submerge, to submerse, to dip, to sink, to dunk, to bathe, to wet, to rinse, to douse, to marinate, to steep, to pickle. I mean, some of it’s really important.

To baptise in water, to baptise in the Spirit, to baptise in fire—in which we are immersed in those things which bring about the changes. I’ll go into that in more detail in a future session when I look at the heat and how heat transforms us. But the soaking room is the place of preparation that has parallel heavenly encounters in the River of Life, which is a river of energy—of Spirit—and in the river of fire.

God is a consuming fire. His love is a consuming fire. We can be baptised in the River of Life and in the associated waterfalls that cascade down. We can be baptised in the river of fire, engage the altars of fire, engage the process. See, the River of Life is Spirit energy—living water. It’s not H₂O, but the very essence of life, encoded with the frequencies of God—God’s essence. And when we are baptised into it, when we submerge ourselves into it, it begins to change and transform us.

The sound of many waters—it says God’s voice is like the sound of many waters. The sound of many waters are the creational frequencies of God’s voice that will realign us to who God created us to be.

Baptised into Love (meditation excerpt)

I encourage you right now
just to close your eyes.
Get comfortable.
Begin to relax.
To focus your thinking on God.

Focus your thinking
on God’s love, grace, mercy for you.

Focus your breathing by slowing down.

Breathe in more slowly.
Breathe in more deeply.
And as you’re breathing in,
you’re breathing in
the unconditional love of the Father.

You’re breathing in love.
You’re breathing in joy, and peace.

And as you breathe it in, just receive.
Let it flow into your being.
Whether you feel it, or sense it,
just let it flow.

Continue to be still.

Breathe in
and breathe out slowly.
Breathe in slowly
and breathe out slowly.

Slow everything down and totally relax.
Just become mindful
that you’re cocooned
right now
in God’s presence.

As you are still,
He is cocooning you in love.
He’s loving on you.

Consciously invite love,
invite joy,
invite peace,
to come upon you,
to flow in you,
to flow through you—
to create an atmosphere of rest around you
that you are completely submerged in –
baptised into the higher frequency of love.

Vibrating in that energy.
Vibrating in peace and joy.

Overshadowed with the presence of the Holy Spirit,
energising you,
transforming you,
changing you.

Be open to that overshadowing.
For the presence of God
to rest upon you.

Related posts

Into the Dark Cloud

281. Scroll of Destiny: Just Being

399. Become Acquainted With Perfection

 

406. Recognise the Finished Work of Jesus

Mike Parsons

The Bible was

At that time, the Bible was still the living Word of God for me—not Jesus. I saw the Bible as the Word that washed me, not Jesus. I relied on the Bible to separate my soul and spirit, rather than allowing Jesus to do it. I used the Bible as a mirror to see myself, rather than looking to Jesus or the Father.

Jesus, mediator of a New Covenant

During this process, I was presenting myself in the heavenly tabernacle as a living sahttps://freedomarc.blog/2014/01/21/present-a-living-sacrifice-3-practice/crifice, prepared by me, acting as my own high priest. Now, that might sound bizarre, but when I first received this revelation and began engaging in the heavenly tabernacle, this is what I thought I was doing.

I approached the laver—a basin used for washing—which I understood to have a bronze, mirror-like surface. I used it as a mirror to wash myself through the Bible, performing the role of my own high priest. I consumed the showbread as biblical food, again as my own high priest. I sought wisdom from the light of the menorah, the Bible, instead of Jesus. I engaged the altar, refining myself through the Bible, all the while acting as my own high priest.

In truth, all of this was a self-reliant, religious duty—a “do-it-yourself” form of faith. The reality, as I later came to understand, is that I am not my own high priest—Jesus is. Hebrews 6:20 makes it clear: “Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever, according to the order of Melchizedek.” Jesus is the mediator of the New Covenant, not me. I made no covenant with God—Jesus did.

Deeply ingrained religious mindsets

My deconstruction was revealing God’s grace and the finished work of Jesus, and that was challenging my old covenant thinking. My “do-it-yourself” religious mindset had trapped me and severely limited my ability to truly know God and my original, authentic self.

Now, that might sound really odd to you, and you may never have approached things in this way. I would certainly encourage you not to. However, it shows how deeply ingrained these mindsets can be, distorting our view of God and His work. Only when those limitations and restrictions were removed could I begin to discover my true origin, identity and destiny as a son of God. It was then I began to see how powerful the finished work of Jesus truly is.

Jesus accomplished everything on our behalf so we don’t need to rely on our own efforts. He died for me, and as me, so I died. He was resurrected for me, so I was resurrected. He ascended for me and I ascended. Jesus established the New Covenant for me and included me in it. He is my high priest, he is my mediator—I don’t have to do it myself. Jesus did everything necessary to restore the whole cosmos, reconciling everyone, corporately. We are not required to achieve this individually in our own strength. He has accomplished it on behalf of all mankind; he took away the sin of the entire cosmos.

Renewing the mind

We may need to transition into a renewed mindset because most of us have likely been programmed by some form of works-based mentality. Even if it wasn’t specifically religious works, cultural influences can drive us to succeed and build our identity around what we achieve. Transitioning from an old to a new mindset requires a deep deconstruction—a process of renewing the mind. it is a process, that is the key.

It’s a process that God orchestrates and that he leads us through. It is relational, and through this relationship, our thinking about God—and everything else—begins to change. Old restrictive doctrines and theological mindsets need to be replaced by a relational lifestyle of face-to-face innocence with God. This is the amazing truth of the relationship He has invited us into.

No need to fear deception

Through this, we can learn to trust our Father to father us without fear of deception. Personally, I struggled with a deep fear of “getting it wrong.” This fear was instilled in me through the belief that everything had to be done strictly “by the Bible,” as the Bible was my sole source of security against error and deception.

The reality, however, is that every Christian sect or cult uses the Bible in some way, so relying on it alone for safety didn’t truly protect me from deception. I believed the Bible was God’s Word: all of it was infallible, inspired, and entirely inerrant, and I thought that following it would keep me safe. But whose version was I following? Whose interpretation of the Bible was I basing my life on?

These questions were hard to face because I had been conditioned to think otherwise. In truth, that belief system itself was the deception that was keeping me religiously bound in fear, unable to move beyond the Bible. I was afraid that if I went beyond its pages, I’d fall into some weird error or be led astray. This is a fear shared by many people I have spoken to: their families and friends often worry that they are going off into some error or cult-like movement, because they are no longer going to church or no longer reading their Bible in the same way they once did.

But the fear of deception is itself a powerful form of deception that keeps us locked up. We don’t need to live in fear of deception, because we have the Holy Spirit of Truth within us, guiding us. Jesus, who is the Way, the Truth and the Life, is also in us and with us, discipling us. Our loving Father is within us, fathering us into our true identity as sons and daughters. And if we measure everything against agape love, we won’t stray far. Love is the ultimate standard, and if we root everything in love, we can trust the process.

This video blog is an excerpt from Mike's current teaching series, Restoring First Love. Get the full length videos every month, only at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

Rest in Love (guided meditation)

Close your eyes,
Slow down your thinking,
Rest—rest in love.
As you are breathing in,
And breathing out,
The very breath of God.

And as you rest in love,
Let the unconditional love of God
Rest on you.

Open your heart,
Open your mind,
Ask the Father to reveal:
“Are there any Old Covenant mindsets,
Any Old Covenant belief systems,
Still operating?
Is there any mixture of covenants
In your heart?

Open up your heart to listen
That the Father could show you.
 
And if there is anything
That’s a mixture of covenants
In your experience
Just hand it over to him.
Take off those old covenant mindsets
And clothes, if you like,
And hand them over to the Father.

And let Him clothe you
In robes of righteousness,
Let Him clothe you
In new covenant grace,
In mercy,
In unconditional love.

Related posts by Mike Parsons

400. Living in Union with God: Embracing Our Original Design

Mike Parsons

God wants to take it deeper

As individuals and as humanity as a whole, all we, like sheep, have gone astray, following our own path of independence. But God proactively came to seek and save that which was lost. The Good Shepherd sought out the lost sheep—and still does. He is continually seeking those who are living in lost identity. And a lot of Christians are still living in lost identity, even though they have a relationship with God at a certain level. Whatever level of relationship we have, God wants to take it deeper. He doesn’t want us to remain in the same place.

Mankind may have turned away from God to live in that lost identity and independence, but God never turned away from us. God, as Father, has always seen us as His children through the lens of love. He has always desired that we all return to our first love—our origin. This is the key, and there are a number of Bible verses that speak about this love and its depth. , For example,

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, neither things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing [including ourselves] will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

That’s quite a statement, but it’s based in God and not in us. It’s not based on our ability to maintain a certain standard. It’s purely a statement of God’s grace, mercy and love. The Mirror Bible puts it like this:

This is my conviction: no threat—whether it be in death or life, be it angelic beings, demon powers, or political principalities, nothing known to us at this time or even in the unknown future, no dimension of any calculation in time or space, nor any device yet to be invented—has what it takes to separate us from the love of God demonstrated in Christ Jesus, our ultimate authority (Romans 8:38-39 Mirror).

Relationship

When we go back through Romans 8, we see there are a number of things that lead up to that passage which are talking about our relationship with God. Romans 8:14 says:

For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons and daughters of God.

As we come into union with Him, joined to God—not separated from Him in our own understanding—we become one spirit with Him. This union enables our spirit to mature, to grow, and to develop into who we were always intended to be. It helps us discover who we were before we came here.

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again… (Romans 8:15a).

Yet how many people became Christians and, through the church or religion, ended up back in fear—living in works of appeasement to an angry God? But God is a loving Father. He wants us to know the truth: we are sons and daughters.

… but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters, by which we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’ (Romans 8:15b).

This was impossible under the old covenant. Crying out “Abba, Father” is a new covenant reality. Jesus came to reveal His relationship with His Father so that it could become our relationship with our Father too.

The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God (Romans 8:16).

This is what happens in this union: the Spirit testifies to our innermost being, confirming that we are children of God. Not only that, but we always have been; we always will be—we will never, ever not be children of God.

And if children, heirs also—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. (Romans 8:17).

Now, this is where the way this is written may challenge some people because it uses the word ‘if.’ However, this ‘if’ is not conditional, as though we need to do something to make it happen. Instead, it is a declarative statement, affirming that something has already taken place: because we are children, we are heirs. Heirs of what? Heirs of God Himself and fellow heirs, co-heirs with Christ in the whole of creation. And “if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him,” is not suggesting that we must endure suffering to earn glory. Instead, it means that we identify with His sufferings because He went through them for us. We don’t have to go through it, other than by identifying with Him.

We originate in God

So if we go back again and read those verses in the Mirror Bible:

The original life of the Father revealed in His Son is the life the Spirit now conducts within us.

So the spirit is now looking, with the Father and the Son, to reveal our original origin and identity, the original life that He intended us to
have as children of God in relationship.

Slavery is such a poor substitute for sonship. They are opposites. The one leads forcibly through fear, while sonship responds fondly to Abba, Father.

This is what God desires: for us to engage with Him as Abba, Father, Daddy, without fear—resting instead in wonderful peace and intimacy.

Verse 16:
His Spirit resonates within our spirit to confirm the fact that we originate in God.

Through this process, God is showing us our origin—who we really are, from the beginning, so that who we are now will be in alignment with who we were in the beginning, not as a product of our lives up to this point.

Because we are His offspring, we qualify to be heirs. This isn’t something we earn—it’s purely by grace. God Himself is our portion. We co-inherit with Christ, since we were represented and included in His suffering. This is very different than us going through suffering. We were already included in His suffering, and we equally participate in the glory of His resurrection. This isn’t something that happens in ‘Glory’ (as they used to call heaven); this is something that can happen now—because as He has been resurrected, so also we died with Him and we are now alive with Him, to fully embrace the glory of that resurrection power that reveals who we really are. You could say that ‘who we really are’ is our glory. It is our true identity, the clothing of that glorious nature we have as children of God.

This video blog is an excerpt from Mike's current teaching series, Restoring First Love. Get the full length videos every month, only at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love

Activation

Close your eyes,
come to a place of rest.
Begin to think of living loved,
being loved in that first love way.

Again, start to focus your breathing,
just begin to slow down, relax,
focus your thinking as you
breathe slowly,
and breathe deeply,
thinking about God,
who is love,
who loves you.

As you breathe in slowly,
you breathe in that unconditional love of the Father.
You’re breathing it into your very being.
Every breath that you take
is a life-giving force of energy,
of love.

That unconditional love,
as you breathe it in,
flows through your being.
Start to feel it flowing through you.
Breathe deeply.
Be still,
as God releases that love
in you,
on you,
through you.

You are cocooned in unconditional love,
filled to overflowing.
Unconditional love flowing through you
as God demonstrates to you how much He loves you,
how valuable you are to Him.

You are the apple of His eye,
the treasure of His heart,
the object of His desire.
He calls you into union and oneness.
He’s calling you
into this union of relationship.
Be filled with love.

Stay in that place of intimacy and love.
Just embrace it.

The music in this activation is by Samuel Lane. 
Stream or download more of his soundscapes at linktr.ee/SMLMusic