If you do not see the video above, you can find it here.
The spirit needs to be developed—and we need to understand how it operates. The functions of the spirit are often experienced through gateways such as reverence, the fear of the Lord, worship, and so on. There are several gateways, all designed to work in harmony with the soul and body, rather than independently. However, because the spirit and soul have become somewhat disconnected, we haven’t learned to function as a unified whole.
When some people discover spirituality and develop their relationship with God, their spirit begins to function, but since we haven’t generally been taught how to operate in this way, generally we need to learn how. I found it helpful to engage with the different gateways of the spirit by walking through them with Jesus and asking Him to show me how they work and what capabilities my spirit possesses. We refer to them as gateways because they serve as entry points, but in reality, they represent spiritual abilities or function of the spirit that need to be activated.
These abilities are activated as the Holy Spirit flows through us, and when our spirit is joined with the Holy Spirit. However, because we haven’t been used to living this way, we need to intentionally build up our spirit. Some people seem to operate in this instinctively, but most do not, so it becomes a learning journey. The more we focus on developing our spirit, the stronger our spiritual abilities become; we learn to sense and feel through the spirit—not merely through the physical senses or emotions. As our spirit becomes more active, it expands, grows, and increases in its ability to function, and as we become more whole, the spirit, soul and body work together seamlessly.
Separating and reintegrating soul and spirit
There is often a process required, where the spirit and soul need separating and reintegrating. Typically, the soul draws life from the spirit but has not been truly subject to it. Without the spirit, we wouldn’t be alive. Before discovering our identity in Christ, we often live as though we do not even have a spirit—the soul predominates, learning from everything outside ourselves. The soul is shaped by experiences and operates independently of the spirit and of God. However, when we become Christians, our spirit and soul are reconnected, and that’s when a ‘wrestling’ tends to begin, as the soul is used to being in control—protecting and providing for itself through various coping and defence mechanisms.
Suddenly, when the spirit enters the scene, the soul resists surrendering control, usually out of fear. As the spirit grows, this struggle continues, but the sooner we surrender, relinquish control and allow the spirit to lead, the better. With our spirit joined to the Holy Spirit, our lives can be directed far better than by the soul alone. Once Jesus separates and reintegrates the soul and spirit, the spirit connects to the soul from the inside out, allowing everything to flow outwardly from that unity. We then discern what is happening in the world around us first through our spiritual senses, rather than through physical senses or emotions. We’re no longer operating from memory, but from spiritual instinct—enabling us to know, feel, and sense what’s happening.
It is important to go through this process and surrender the soul’s control, so that spirit and soul can become integrated, functioning together to operate in a completely different manner.
If you enjoy these video blogs, please take a moment to like, share, comment, and subscribe—it really does help. Thank you very much.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
If you do not see the video above, please click here.
Separation and reintegration
Once I had gone through that process and reintegrated, I became whole—spirit, soul, and body—in a genuine sense of completeness. My soul no longer felt the need to validate itself or dictate the terms of my actions. Suddenly, my soul and spirit were functioning in different realms but remained connected. This reintegration of spirit and soul brought a quantum entangled perspective, enabling me to be anywhere, as it were, and allowing my spirit to function in that realm.
Previously, I was tied to my soul; I would journey into heaven and then come back out, rather than having my spirit truly dwelling there, seated with Christ in heavenly places. Although my spirit was seated with Christ, I couldn’t fully understand or consciously realise the connection, as my soul kept pulling me out. As a result, I would have amazing heavenly experiences but would always return, rather than remaining in that place. God intended for me to dwell there consciously, uniting my spiritual and physical consciousness—linking my mind and spirit.
The bridal chamber
When that happened, everything came together. Things changed quite dramatically, and a whole range of new experiences opened up, eventually taking me into union in the bridal chamber. Now, this union is not sexual, but it is just as profound as sexual union, as described in 1 Corinthians 6:17. In the previous verse, it refers to whoever is joined to a prostitute becoming one flesh with her, illustrating the depth of true union.
I truly didn’t know what to expect. I felt invited to come to this place to meet the person of God—that was the union I experienced. After undergoing the process of separation and reintegration of spirit, I entered into the person of God and engaged with Him face to face. The encounter was overwhelming—far too much for me to handle. My limited beliefs and my mind simply could not cope with the magnitude of the experience, so I withdrew very quickly. But in that brief moment, I saw God and encountered something far too wonderful for me to explain or even process with my understanding of who God was.
Cognitive dissonance
This encounter created cognitive dissonance and prepared me to re-experience the true God, because the religious concept of God I had did not align with what I felt in that moment. It was simply too wonderful for the God I had believed in. I had to go through the process of really coming to know and dwell with Him. This began back in 2012, and over the years, I underwent a time of deconstruction—discovering who God truly is.
My relationship with God deepened, revealing the true God behind the false one I had previously imagined—the one who needed me to serve, be obedient, and fulfil duties out of obligation. All of that fell away as God challenged those beliefs. The ‘old covenant’ concepts I still held were also challenged. Throughout all of this, I continued to have encounters which led me to new places. For example, I passed through a series of firestone experiences—nine encounters in total—which took me into different levels of identity as a son of God.
There were many strands of experience, all drawing me towards union. Looking back, I realise how much work it took to get me to this place. I was so far removed from it, but I persisted in the journey, not knowing how each strand or encounter fitted together. All the experiences had a purpose, even if I couldn’t see how at the time—there was indeed a goal at the end.
If you enjoy these video blogs, please take a moment to like, share, comment, and subscribe—it really does help. Thank you very much.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
If you do not see the video entitled The Dark Cloud, Part 4. Breakthrough Day—From Grief to Glory, please click here.
The text below is a condensed version of the video content.
Wait expectantly
I got through November, December and January—but I was in a bad way emotionally. Then came February, and all I felt was: wait expectantly. This was the dark cloud again, but now with the sense that hope would return. Still, I was frustrated. Why wait? What for? When would something actually happen? I sensed—not in words, but inwardly—that I should fast for 20 or 21 days, and then breakthrough would come. That gave me something to hold on to, a flicker of hope.
So I started fasting. Eight days in, I poisoned myself with contaminated water. I had not cleaned out the water cooler properly. For five days after that, I could not even keep water down. I had already gone over a week without food, and now no sleep, no hydration. I was delirious. Physically, emotionally, I was running on empty. I did not do what I would advise anyone else to do. I did not call the elders; I did not ask for prayer; I did not go to the doctor. I just let it happen. I suppose I embraced it, though I did not really know why.
My soul had had enough by that point. I said to God, “I surrender”—just to make it stop. I did not mean it, and it did not stop; it intensified. For another two weeks or more, I was at the absolute end of myself. My soul gave up. It stopped asking. I had no more questions. I could finally be still—because I had no strength to be anything else. I could wait, I could rest, because I could do nothing else. I could not even think.
It was my ‘Garden of Gethsemane’, in a way. Every part of me—body, soul, mind, emotions, will—was spent. I got the faintest glimpse of what Jesus must have endured, though his was infinitely greater. He took on the lost identity of all of us. Every dark cloud, every wound, every bit of brokenness. He carried it all. That is how deep his love goes.
God reminded me of some scriptures—Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It felt like that. I was groaning and crying out, and God seemed miles away. But then, verse 24 says that he did not despise the suffering or hide his face. He heard. He heard me. He just knew I had to come to the end of myself.
Psalm 42 was another. “Why are you in despair, O my soul?” That was exactly how I felt—mentally exhausted, unable to focus, even to pray in tongues. I stopped trying. Emotionally I was wrecked. I started accusing God, and I received accusations—from myself, from the enemy. I felt I was a failure in every area: husband, father, leader, person. And I believed every word of it.
But God was using this. He was preparing me for what was ahead—for the criticism, the trolling, the accusations that would come. Nothing people might say could ever be worse than what I had already said to myself. Colossians 1:24 came to mind—Paul talks about rejoicing in his sufferings and filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions. Not adding to them, because we cannot—but joining in that unselfish love that undergirds all true ministry.
That is what God was working in me: love, joy and peace that does not come from anything external, but only from him. And I had not fully surrendered, so I was still going through it. But even that was his mercy, drawing me deeper into his love.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Rejoice – Again I say, rejoice!
Rejoice in the Lord always—again I say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4).
It felt like I might just be getting there. I had no strength to give thanks, but something began to rise in me—not from my soul, but from my spirit. Hope started to return. 1 Peter 4:13 says, “To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing.” And something shifted. I began to rejoice. My attitude changed. Joy became strength.
And then came the shaking. Hebrews 12 talks about removing the things that can be shaken so only what cannot be shaken remains. That consuming fire—God’s presence—was burning everything up. And I chose to offer myself. I surrendered, even though I was burning inside and out. The fire of God’s love was testing what would remain. That was when I burned my ketubah—a contract I had written with 68 demands, all good things: to fulfil destiny, sonship, purpose. But it was my contract with God, not his. As I burned it, I felt each item die. And I grieved, deeply. Waves of loss rolled over me.
And then came the question: “Do you still love me?” If nothing I desired came to pass, would I still love God? Would I trust him, still rejoice, still believe he is good? Yes. My soul had finally surrendered. He searched and tested my heart—not to punish, but to purify. The pure in heart see God. That is what he wanted: face-to-face relationship.
I surrendered control. I no longer needed to know anything, see anything. If he never showed me another thing, I did not care. Could God trust me? That was the real issue—not what I could do for him, or him for me—but relationship. When I surrendered, he told me he trusted me. If he never did another thing for me, I would still love him. And if I never did anything for him again, he would still love me.
Those four months had been four phases: garden, dance floor, soaking room, dark cloud—be still, wait, rest, wait expectantly. They all turned out to be invitations by grace, but my soul had turned them into duties, burdens, performance. Until finally, I surrendered even my obedience. He freed me from needing to earn identity through duty. I saw that my redemptive gift is not what I do, but who I am.
And was it all worth it—just for relationship? Absolutely. It brought me to 2 Corinthians 7:16: I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you. That night, when I surrendered completely and found joy, he separated and reintegrated my soul and spirit. I could never have done that myself—only he, the living Word, could. Everything changed. My soul and spirit became quantum entangled, re-joined from the inside out.
This blog is adapted from the recording of a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons?
Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.
The next day, I woke up totally restored. No symptoms. Physically and emotionally whole. I sat in my chair and re-engaged heaven. But now I was free—untethered. Not stepping in and out, but abiding. My spirit stayed in the heavenly realms. My soul no longer anchored me to the earth. I live in dual realms, connected, unified. Everything the Father wanted to show me became accessible. From that day, my spirit has never left that realm. My soul became a channel for heaven to touch earth. Joined to the Lord, one spirit. The gateway opened.
Looking back now, I can honestly say—I rejoice. I celebrate what the Father did in me. It was awesome. I am so deeply grateful. He loved me enough to take me through that fire, through that pressure, through the darkest cloud I had ever experienced—because he knew what was on the other side. He wanted me to be free. He wanted me to know the depth of his unconditional love. He wanted me to experience limitless grace, triumphant mercy—not just know about them, but live from them. And I do. That is where I live from now.
So now, I want to encourage you—just open your heart. Just be willing. Ask Jesus to take you wherever he wants you to go. Do not try to control the outcome, do not try to shape the experience. Just say, “Yes, I am willing.” Maybe he will take you into the dark cloud. Maybe it will be something completely different. But whatever it is, if he is leading, you can trust it. Trust him. You might not understand it at the time, I certainly did not—but he knows what he is doing. And if you are willing to say to him, “I choose to embrace this path of transformation,” then say it. Tell him. But do not try to make anything happen. Let him lead. Desire it, yes—but do not create the agenda. That was the biggest lesson for me: only he can initiate it, only he can take you through it.
And really, that is where this whole series began—right back at the beginning: to experience first love, we have to abandon our soul into the trust of the God who loves us unconditionally. That is what he wanted me to get to. That was my journey. That was how I got out of the boat. And we all need to get out of that boat. The boat of survival. The boat where we think we are in control, where we try to make everything safe and understandable. We have to get out of that boat, and sink into the vast, endless ocean of unconditional love.
Because only there—only in that place of absolute surrender, trust and intimacy—can we truly experience what it means to walk with God, to know him, to be known by him. That is what he is after. That is what this whole thing is about. It is not about doing anything for him. It is not about fulfilling a calling, or achieving anything at all. It is about being with him, loving him, and letting him love us. That is the invitation. That is the transformation. That is first love.
Activation (full version).
I encourage you just to close your eyes. Get relaxed. You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
You may want to start by focusing on your breathing— breathe in slowly… hold it… and then breathe out slowly.
And as you are breathing in and breathing out, begin to focus your thinking on God the Father—who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, you are breathing in unconditional love— the love of the Father for you as a son, as a daughter, as a child.
Breathe it in. And as you breathe it in, that unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being— touching every cell of your body, your mind, your emotions, the whole of your soul, spirit and body.
Be still… and let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, let joy and peace come—overwhelm you, cocoon you. All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— a cocoon of love, joy and peace that you are simply resting in… relaxing in…
Be still. Wait. Just rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you right now— this is a safe place.
You can get out of that boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself— to sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love— where God’s love is so strong, so powerful, that you can trust Him.
He is a good God. He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love, as He restores that first love to you.
You can sink deeper… and deeper.
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper into that love.
You can stay in that place.
Maybe you want to get closer and more intimate with the Father— face to face with His presence.
You can fix your thoughts. Jesus wants to reveal the Father to you. The Holy Spirit wants to reveal Jesus to you. So they can reveal themselves to you— in intimacy.
Think about the Father meeting you. Fix your thoughts in your imagination. Picture a door in your spirit— and you can choose to open that door.
Invite the Father’s presence in— to hug you, to breathe His breath of life into you.
And as the Father embraces you in love, be open to wherever He wants to lead you— maybe to the soaking room, if that is where you are, maybe to the realms of heaven— where you can engage the judgment seat, or the altar of fire, or the river of fire.
Perhaps you want to take your scroll— to have it tested and purified by the consuming fire of His love.
Or maybe ask Him to take you into that dark cloud experience— if you are willing, if you feel the desires of your heart are set upon it.
Wherever the Father wants to lead you, just be willing to go— knowing that you can trust Him.
Because He loves you. He wants the best for you. He is a good God.
He wants you to truly know who He really is, so you can truly know who you really are— as a child of God.
Be open to wherever He takes you right now…
Feel free to stay in that place as long as you would like—a place of intimacy, a place of love, a place of rejoicing, where the joy and peace of God can just fill you and flood you.
During a dark cloud experience in worship in October 2011, the Father asked me if I would give Him four months. Now, I thought, wow—forty days was amazing—imagine what four months could do. He did not say a four-month fast (I think that might have been extreme, but I probably would have done it). Nevertheless, I was so excited. Of course I said yes to that invitation. I mean, it was like—wow—what was God going to do with me when I gave Him four months?
So I chose November 2011 to February 2012 for my four months. It was not a fast, but it was a time without journaling, without agenda—or so I thought. Well, I suppose I did: I wanted more. But He had an agenda. Wow. I was in for a shock, again, from that Jehovah-Sneaky. He tricked me into this—probably because He knew I might not accept if I knew what was going to happen. I do not know. But He got me into that place.
So—November the first, 2011. I got up, six in the morning, and I sat in my usual reclining chair, expecting something amazing to happen. Remember, I had had over a year of daily experiences and encounters in heaven, within my own spirit and soul—and now what happened? Nothing. Darkness. A blank, black screen. How confused I was! How shocked I was! How sad I was!
Now in hindsight, I can see what God was doing through those four months. Each month was a separate period. And I see He was taking me back to the garden, but I could not see it or experience it cognitively. He took me back to the dance floor. He took me to the soaking room, and into the dark cloud. But I could not see or feel anything—other than it was dark. Black. I could see nothing. I could hear nothing. It was horrible.
Be still
All I felt was, “Be still.” That was it. Be still. I had to be still. But I was so frustrated, confused, disappointed. My soul did not handle being still very well.
So there I am, November 2011, and God is taking me back into the garden so I could know God who is love. But that was tested, because I could not see it, and I could not feel it. All I had to do was be still. Psalm 46:10—“Be still and know that I am God.” That was the first verse I ever meditated on. I had meditated on that verse for years. And now God had asked me to be still, and I could not.
Another version of that verse says, “Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at Me, your high God.” I could not see Him. It was like—how unfair is that? I had no problem being still until I was invited to be still—and my soul reacted to that darkness. I kicked off.
Now, there are other verses.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.’ (Psalm 91:1).
But I could not trust Him. In fact, I did not trust Him. God is love—but would I trust Him without seeing and knowing what He is doing? My soul failed that test miserably. I had to know what He was doing. I bombarded Him with questions. I needed to know. Why was He doing this to me? What was happening?
See, if I knew what He was doing, I felt secure—and I could trust Him. But I did not trust Him as much as I thought, obviously. My soul kicked off. I really needed to know. I had to know. And of course—God did not tell me. Which was so frustrating, and so annoying. And I got so angry with God, I said things to Him which I am not proud of now. Of course, He was smiling all along. I could not see Him, but He was smiling, because He knew what this process was going to do in me.
I remembered that God once said, “I do not need your assistance, just your surrender.” I remembered that—but I could not do it. My soul could not surrender. And I think I did not really know God’s unconditional love. I knew God is love. I knew God loved me. But actually, was it unconditional? I do not think my soul accepted that that was the truth.
This recording is from a group Zoom with our Patreon patrons in May 2025. Why not join them, and experience future sessions live with Mike Parsons? Visit patreon.com/freedomarc for details.
So—November was a miserable month. I went through a terrible struggle. I was hoping that December would be better. So—the first of December—I get up. I go back, I sit in my chair. Nothing again. Blank. All I felt was: “Wait.” Looking back, I can see that God was taking me on the dance floor. There would be joy. But I had to wait. Why did I need to wait? What was I waiting for? Isaiah 40:31—Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Great. But I could not see what He was doing, so I could not wait. I wanted to know.
Another version says, “Those who wait for the Lord, who expect, look for, and hope for Him, shall change and renew their strength and power.” I think that is the Amplified version. Nehemiah 8:10 says “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” So God wanted me to experience joy based on nothing other than Him. So I was waiting. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing. That was not joy. I did not feel joyful, or blissful, or any other description of joy. I was miserable.
Could joy come from no external circumstances, only from my relationship with the Lord? Well obviously, yes. I discovered that in the end. But while I was going through it? Absolutely not. I felt no joy at all. I was miserable. Even Christmas was horrible that year, because inside I was in turmoil. I was so struggling with what was happening to me. It felt so unfair that God had made me this way—and now I could not be me. That is how it felt.
So—why do I have to wait? What am I waiting for? Why are You making me wait? Who am I waiting for? My soul was absolutely, totally out of control. And I believe the Father was showing me what I would be like without my spirit’s influence. Because when I came into relationship with God, and when the Holy Spirit was alive in me, and when revelation came, and when I was baptised in the Spirit, and filled with the Spirit, and all these amazing things—I had wonderful experiences of God. And it was great.
But now God was showing me what I was like on my own, following my own path, in my soul. Needing to know what God was doing, to even have a hope of joy. So why would I have to wait? It was so hard.
Rest
Then January came. The first of January. I was hoping—hoping—that this would be a new year and something would change. And all I felt was: rest. Rest. I could not rest. I was now in the soaking room. Rest. Peace. God wanted me to come into peace. I could not feel peaceful. I was anything but peaceful. I was riled. My emotions were high. My soul was in turmoil.
Matthew 11:28—“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Well—I was weary and heavy laden at this point. I really felt my soul was carrying this weight of producing my own identity from what I was doing. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I did not find rest for my soul. I could not enter rest.
I had been at rest for a whole year. Wonderfully at rest. He had taught me from that scripture. He opened it up so I could know what it was to come into rest. And now He invited me to rest—and I could not rest. Do nothing, see nothing, know nothing, be nothing. More frustration.
I could not do it. I could not rest. Which was the point. Because He was basically saying, you do not have to try to create rest. You come to Me. Being gentle and humble in heart is true peace, where identity and destiny are accepted and surrendered for God’s glory. But I could not do it.
So was I willing to take the yoke of Jesus, even when it made no sense? When I did not understand? When I could not figure it out? When I did not know what God was doing? Could I do it? No. I could not. Absolutely no way. So would I follow His lead and be His disciple in pure trust? Which is exactly what He wanted me to do. But I could not. Not at that point. I could not do it.
Why do I need to rest? What am I resting for? What are You doing, making me rest? Who am I resting for? What is it all about? My soul just asked question upon question upon question. I could not be still. I could not wait. I could not rest. I was in turmoil—continually. I was asking those questions—but really they were accusations. I was accusing God. What are You doing? Why are You doing this to me? It is unfair. I have done nothing to deserve this. I do not like it.
But—I got through November, December and January. I got through it. But I was pretty bad—emotionally. And then I got to February. And all I felt was: wait expectantly. Now—I was going to go into the dark cloud. Now—hope would return.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Activation (excerpt)
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
Begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out… slowly.
And as you breathe in… and breathe out… Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you, As a son, As a daughter, As His child.
Breathe it in.
As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow Through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body, Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.
Let yourself be still, And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Joy and peace come— They overwhelm you, They cocoon you.
All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.
You are just resting in it. Relaxing in it.
Be still. Wait. Rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you—right now— This is a safe place.
You can get out of the boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself, To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful— You can trust Him.
He is a good God, And He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love As He restores first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper…
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper… Into love.
God does not want to keep us at a distance. He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence—but that requires transformation.
Of course, Jesus wanted to share many things with His disciples, just as the Father desires to reveal amazing things to us. But we may not yet be ready to experience them. In John 16:12, Jesus said, “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” That was certainly true for me. God wanted to reveal so much, and eventually He did, but at the time I simply could not bear it.
There is revelation, truth, and encounter available to us—but, like the disciples, we may not be ready. It is not because we are unworthy or not good enough, but because our minds need renewing. There are still things in our souls that need to be dealt with so that we learn to trust God—not based on what we see or understand—but simply because He is God. Our relationship with Him must be based on who He is, not on what He does for us, nor on what we do for Him.
Visiting or Dwelling?
God prepares us to dwell with Him in face-to-face intimacy—not just to visit from time to time. At one stage, I was visiting His presence. I was engaging with the realms of heaven, but I was not able to engage with His person—at least, not until I had been through this process.
My encounters in the dark cloud were preparing me for what was to come, though I was completely unaware of that at the time. I did not know what He was doing, or what He was going to do. I thought I had experienced everything there was to experience—how wrong I was!
Once, during one of those dark cloud encounters, I saw my destiny scroll. There was an event marked on it by a blue flame. The Father called it the eternal flame. I was deeply curious—why was I being shown this? At the time, I had no idea it would relate to what I was about to walk through. I saw my life flash before me, leading up to that moment within the flame. I just knew that nothing would ever be the same again. But I did not know what it meant, or how it would unfold. God was showing me something important, something intriguing—an invitation. And, as I sometimes say, Jehovah Sneaky knew I would not be able to resist.
He did not tell me what He was going to do—He simply invited me to engage the eternal flame for a life-changing experience. A friend of mine later painted a picture of someone in a blue flame. When I saw it, it resonated so strongly—it felt as though she had painted me, right there in the midst of that flame that had changed my life.
True Identity and Redemptive Gifts
As part of that process, the Father wanted to reveal my true identity to me—an identity closely linked to my redemptive gift. That redemptive gift is how the Father has wired me, as a son, to engage with the world around me and to mature into His fullness. It is how I see, perceive, and interact with life.
My true identity is connected to my redemptive gift, but it needed to be freed from the performance-based, soul-driven tendencies that had developed through my life experiences. Trauma, nurture, and upbringing can all shape how that gift functions—often making it impure.
In my case, I was using my redemptive gift to create and validate my identity. My redemptive gift is prophet–teacher. That is not the same as the spiritual gift of prophecy. This kind of “prophet” describes how I perceive and process the world. And I am almost equally prophet and teacher—every redemptive gift survey I have done reflects that. That is how God wired me to function as a son: curious about how things work, with the ability to explain them to others. That is probably why He chose me to be a forerunner in heavenly engagement—to open up that realm for others. Hopefully I can share my experiences in a way that is not too weird, so that people can see what is available to them too.
But I had gained my identity and security from the knowledge I received by doing that. I was using my soul to engage heaven—to see and know what the Father was doing, which in itself is good. But my soul would not allow my spirit to engage heaven on its own. Though we are seated in heavenly places, the consciousness of my soul was limiting my spirit’s ability to dwell and remain there. I was tethered to myself, and to the earth.
The Surrender of Self
So the essence of who I was, redemptively, was being used to create a false identity—and to bring me security and independence from my spirit. What I discovered was that me, myself, and I had to surrender. My soul and spirit had to be separated so that they could be reintegrated into oneness—spirit, soul, and body—joined and one with God. From His perspective, we are already one with Him.
As it says in 1 Corinthians 6:17,19-20: “But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”
This is what God desires: union so complete that we are one. But I could not experience that union—because my soul would not allow it. In my own understanding, I was alienated.
The Mirror Bible puts it beautifully: “In our union with Him, we are one spirit with the Lord. Do you not realise that your body, by design, is the sacred shrine of the Spirit of God echoing within you? You are not the sole owner of your life—you are bought and paid for. All of you is His. Live your life conscious of how irreplaceably priceless you are. You host God in your skin.”
Gifted by Design, Not Performance
God wants to free us from the need for our soul to find identity in works—what the Bible calls the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the path most of the world is on.
The purity of who we are redemptively must be tested and refined by fire. I believe our redemptive gifts will grow beyond just one or two, eventually reflecting all seven—to become more like Jesus. As the fruit of the Spirit matures in us, we will function more fully as sons—engaging not just in one way, but in every way.
The redemptive gifts listed in Romans 12:6–8 are prophet, servant, teacher, exhorter, giver, ruler, and mercy. These are not spiritual gifts for ministry. They are who we are. We are God’s gift to the world. The refining process reveals those gifts and frees us from the need to earn our identity through our own works. We can finally be who God intended—no longer performance-driven, trying to earn His favour.
That testing will look different for each of us. When I first studied redemptive gifts—through the teaching of Arthur Burk—I began to see how God uses testing to purify each one. When I taught on the ketubah in church, I warned people: If you go down this road, you will be tested.
I knew ruler-gift and servant-gift friends who had their ability to rule or serve removed—just like that. Then they had to face the question: Who am I without that? Who was I, without being able to see, understand, and teach?God was trying to show me: I am not who I am because of what I do, but because of who He made me to be. Even if I never did any of those things again, I would still be who I am.
A Restoration of Original Design
God took me through the dark cloud because He loves me.
He wanted to restore me to my original condition—so that I would know myself as He made me.
He wanted to bless me fully.
He wanted to reveal my heavenly identity and position as a son.
He wanted to release me into the fullness of sonship authority to engage creation.
But to do that, He had to do something quite drastic -it may be easier for you than it was for me.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Activation: Resting in Unconditional Love
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
Begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out… slowly.
And as you breathe in… and breathe out… Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you, As a son, As a daughter, As His child.
Breathe it in.
As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow Through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body, Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.
Let yourself be still, And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Joy and peace come— They overwhelm you, They cocoon you.
All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.
You are just resting in it. Relaxing in it.
Be still. Wait. Rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you—right now— This is a safe place.
You can get out of the boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself, To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful— You can trust Him.
He is a good God, And He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love As He restores first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper…
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper… Into love.
Not able to see the video above? Please click here.
Where do we get our value from? Where do we get our identity from?
What I discovered on this journey of restored first love and identity was that I had been getting my value, worth and identity from what I was doing. And therefore, if I was not doing those things, I struggled with how I felt about myself.
Lessons from Hebrew Marriage
We have been exploring the restoration of first love through the lens of the six aspects of Hebrew marriage found in the Old Testament. God revealed to Israel that He desired a marriage relationship with them. However, they failed to accept that invitation. Instead, they set up their own system of Hebrew marriage, based on what they believed God had done—but something was missing: relationship.
It became a relationship based on contract, not covenant.
We looked at:
The Garden (Lakah) – God drawing us into intimacy and revealing His love
The Dance Floor (Segullah) – where He entwines with us, revealing our identity and destiny
The Mikveh – the soaking room of preparation and transformation, where He prepares us to come into His presence
The Ketubah – the covenant of relationship (which, in my case, I initially misunderstood and approached from the soul)
The Kiddushin – the betrothal, the dark cloud of surrender
The Huppah – the bridal chamber, the consummation of deeper union
False Identity
I was on a journey to have my first love identity revealed, which meant my false soul identity had to be exposed. I did not know who I truly was, and therefore, I was operating in the power of the soul. The soaking room began that process; the dark cloud completed it.
Today, I want to talk about that dark cloud experience—what led to it, how it unfolded, and how it changed everything. The Father’s goal was intimacy and union—symbolised by marriage and consummation in the bridal chamber—which would lead to a face-to-face experience of God’s person, far beyond experiencing His presence.
Into the Dark Cloud
I reached a point on my journey where the soaking and fire of preparation were drawing me towards the bridal chamber—to that consummation, to deeper intimacy, truth and knowledge than I had ever imagined. But first came the dark cloud of separation and reintegration of soul and spirit, which brought about total surrender of the soul. That was, without doubt, one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life—but also the most beneficial.
If you enjoy these video blogs, would you please take a moment to like, comment, share and subscribe – it really does help! Thank you.
Exposing the Thoughts and Intentions
This transformation revealed the need for that separation and reintegration. It exposed the thoughts and intentions of my heart, which were so soulish that I was shocked by my own reactions when God tested me. But He did it for my good, knowing that it was the only way to bring me into my true identity and reveal His true nature to me.
It was incredibly hard. The motives of my heart were mixed. Some of my intentions were shaped by the programming of wrong religious belief systems. Those flawed intentions were exposed when I attempted to make a ketubah—a marriage contract—with God, instead of entering into the new covenant that had already been prepared for me to be included in. The whole process had been flawed from the beginning, and it brought to light the root of my soulish motivations.
The Father used those stages to help me see the false perspective of the soul, in contrast with my true identity—created in His image and likeness, as a son. The flaws in my thoughts and intentions became apparent when I tried to make demands of God—rather than surrendering to relationship and trusting Him.
Contract vs Covenant
That is the problem with a contract—it does not rest on trust. A contract says, “If you do this, I will do that.” These are your demands; these are mine. And if one party fails to meet those conditions, that is seen as marital unfaithfulness and could bring the relationship to an end—because it was never based on trust.
That is what I discovered. I might have claimed I trusted God, and believed I did, but the truth was my relationship with Him was not built on trust. It was built on reward: being rewarded for what I was doing and drawing my identity from my works for God.
Now, none of the things I was doing were wrong in themselves—but I was doing them from the wrong motivation. I was driven by a need for self-validation. I found that I could trust God only when I understood what He was doing. If I did not understand, I could not trust. I did not realise that until He revealed it to me—and when He did, it absolutely shocked me.
Some of my intentions were definitely performance-driven, not pure.
The Nature of the Dark Cloud
My dark cloud experience will be different from yours. You might not go through the same darkness and inability to see that I did. Others have shared different stories of how God brought them to deeper relationship. But I do believe we all must experience a separation and reintegration of soul and spirit.
We are all born into this world with our souls shaped from the outside in. Everything we learned about ourselves, the world and even God came through our physical senses. Our soul interpreted that data and built a worldview, a belief system, based on upbringing, experience and, often, religious or educational systems.
God wanted to bring me—and wants to bring each of us—into the bridal chamber for consummation, into a face-to-face encounter with the Father’s person. For that to happen, He must reorient our inner being so that our relationship is led by the spirit and not the soul. It must move from spirit to soul, not the other way round—so that we can be joined to the Lord and become one spirit with Him.
The Season of Preparation
After a period of soaking and fire around August 2011, in which I had some profound soaking room experiences, then between August and October 2011, in times of corporate worship, I began to experience what felt like a thick, dark cloud. I did not understand what it was. I was not afraid—but I was confused and disoriented. What was going on? Why was I having these experiences? What was happening? I asked a lot of questions.
Why Would God Hide?
So I began to look into it—what are dark clouds all about? I started exploring the significance of dark clouds in Scripture, and what I found was that God hides within a dark cloud to protect us from the intensity of His presence before we are fully prepared and ready to meet Him face to face.
This is not God keeping us away—this is God protecting us, but also preparing us. He draws us into His presence by leading us through a dark cloud of trust. The question becomes: will I trust Him enough to go through that dark cloud to enter into His presence—or will I back off, be afraid, and run from the experience?
Israel’s Encounter
In Deuteronomy 4:11, we read about Israel’s experience:
“You came forward and stood at the foot of the mountain. The mountain was burning with fire to the heart of the heavens—darkness, cloud and thick gloom.”
Of course they were afraid. They had spent 400 years in Egypt, in bondage, with little to no real relationship with God. And when they came out of that, they carried so much of Egypt with them—control, manipulation and fear. So, when God invited them up the mountain to meet Him, they were afraid. They drew back, and they failed to accept that invitation.
The Glory in the Cloud
In 2 Samuel 22:12, it says:
He made darkness canopies around Him, massive waters, thick clouds of the sky.
And in 1 Kings 8:10,
When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the Lord, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house.
Now, when we think of the glory of the Lord, we usually think of light—but actually, God had to protect them from the fullness of His glory, from the intensity of His essence, from the blinding light of His presence. Solomon understood this. In verse 12, he said,
“The Lord has said that He would dwell in the thick darkness.”
So Solomon recognised that this thick cloud was not hiding God out of reluctance, but protecting the people. Even in that cloud, they could not stand—the weight of God’s presence was too great. But within that dark cloud, when God came to occupy the Holy of Holies, He was actually shielding them from the light of His presence—until Jesus came to reveal the light as the Light of the World, to reveal the true nature of God.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Hidden in Mystery
Psalm 18:11 says, He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him, darkness of waters, thick clouds.
The Passion Translation renders it this way:
Wrapped in thick cloud-darkness, His thunder-tabernacle surrounded Him. He hid Himself in mystery-darkness. The dense rain clouds were His garments.
This is an invitation. God is calling us into that mystery—to see whether we will trust Him. Are we willing to go through the dark cloud in order to encounter His person?
Psalm 97:2: Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.
So why does God hide in a dark cloud? Because without it, He is unapproachable light. But He desires to prepare us so that we can approach Him in that light.
From Cloud to Light
Eventually, when I went into that light—having been prepared and having passed through the dark cloud—I could not remain there for even a fraction of a second. It was far too intense for me at that time, because the process of deconstruction and the renewal of my mind was still ongoing.
But I returned—and now I dwell in that approachable light. I dwell in the realm of light, in perfection. I abide there. It is my home, constantly, continually. And that was only possible because I went through the dark cloud. My soul and spirit were separated, then reintegrated. I was reconnected. And now, I can dwell in the realms of heaven continually.
Hidden Until We Are Ready
Interestingly, the Hebrew word for thick and dark is the same. It means that God is unseen or hidden from our direct sight—until we are ready, until we are prepared to meet Him face to face. And that is our destiny. That is the purpose of restoring first love. God does not want to keep us at a distance—but He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence. And that requires transformation.
Activation: Guided Meditation
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. Just begin to relax your body.
You may want to start focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out slowly.
And as you are breathing in and breathing out, Begin to focus your thinking on God, The Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you As a son, as a daughter, as a child.
Breathe it in… And as you breathe it in, That unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body: Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit and body.
So you can be still… And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Let joy and peace come and overwhelm you— Cocoon you. Let all of His being begin to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy and peace That you are just resting in, Relaxing in.
Be still. Wait. Just rest. Just wait—expectantly— For whatever God wants to do with you right now.
This is a safe place. You can get out of that boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself: Sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful, That you can trust Him— That He is a good God— That He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love, As He restores that first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper… There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper into love.
Going in to meet the person of God—that is an experience beyond any other I’ve ever had. I could never have entered into that in the state I was in, but God began to change me, prepare me, in all those things in the soaking room, so I could get to that place where I was able to meet Him face to face. Now, I’d met God in many different ways, but there’s a difference between engaging the presence of God and engaging the person of God.
Metamorphosis
Metamorphosis is a process that produces transformation. Not only do things get removed, but things also get changed, added, to enable us to go into deeper levels of intimacy. So we have the ability to live in multi-dimensional realms, in the fullness of our eternal nature and identity.
An example in nature of metamorphosis is the transformation of a tadpole into a frog. It hatches from spawn and begins life restricted to water, breathing through gills—but that’s not God’s intention for it, that’s just the beginning. The tadpole eventually loses its gills and tail, develops legs and a new respiratory system, so as a frog it can be free from restrictions and live in both water and on land. A butterfly goes through a similar process—starting as a caterpillar, restricted to crawling on the earth, but changing through the chrysalis into something that is free to fly.
These are symbolic of the change and transformation that’s needed. We also go through a similar transformation that removes, adds, and restores abilities.
Many times in the Bible, you’ll find characters placed in a place of restriction to prepare them for their destiny. Now, sometimes people really struggle with that. They find it really difficult—to be restricted. They think God is putting that restriction on them in a negative way. But it is a positive thing when God places us in a position that brings about the change and transformation needed in our lives.
Some examples of that—Jacob under Laban, where he was looking to receive his wife, and there were all these conditions put on him, and tricks and everything else, but it produced character in him. Moses in the wilderness—he was called, but lived in the wilderness until he was able to take his position, after he had matured. David in Adullam’s cave—called for the kingdom, but in this place with a group of misfits, and God used that. Jeremiah was in anguish of soul, but came out into a place of fulfilling his destiny.
And then Joseph and Esther—they were also prepared. Joseph was prepared in the pit—his brothers threw him into the pit. How difficult must that have been? Then in slavery, in stewardship, and in prison—the prison of obscurity—until the time was right when his dreams and destiny would be fulfilled. Joseph, in his father’s house, was never going to fulfil his destiny. It was Joseph who’d gone through the process of change and transformation, who grew, who matured, who would end up in leadership in Egypt—in a way beyond what we’d have thought possible. But God prepared him, took him through seeming injustice and different situations that so challenged him—and yet he remained humble through those situations.
Esther went through 12 months of preparation before she could come before the king. That was so difficult. I’ve engaged Esther in the spirit—I’ve engaged her in the cloud of witnesses. I asked her, “What was it like?” And she said, “I didn’t want to be prepared to go and see the king.” That was not something a young Jewish girl would ever have wanted—to be a concubine of a king, a foreign king. But God had a purpose for Esther that would bring about the salvation of her people.
So it’s really important we don’t just look at the external circumstances of our life and think, “This is terrible. How can I get out of this?” We need to understand that sometimes, places of restriction are the places of greatest transformation.
For our soul to be prepared, there needs to be an identification of the things in our lives that are hindrances—coping mechanisms, defence mechanisms, trauma—and all of that leads us to a place of surrender. We surrender our independence. We learn to trust the Father for our provision, protection and direction in life. We’re no longer going to do it by the DIY tree path.
This video and blog post are taken from Mike’s current teaching series, Restoring First Love. Get the full-length videos every month, ad-free and with many extras, only at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love
Realign with our divine origin
Our spirits, souls and bodies realign with our divine origin—get realigned and brought into union and oneness with each other and with God. The identification of our false identity and any works- or performance-based orientation gives us the opportunity to find our true origin and redemptive gifts.
There’s preparation for glorious sonship in restored First Love, and creation is longing and waiting for the revealing of the sons of God—for the revealing of our true nature and how that can bring freedom to the whole of creation.
So the soaking room experiences began to engage my body, they began to engage my soul, to prepare my body to radiate glory and my soul to operate in light. This soaking begins to realign the frequencies of our being, to restore resonance with God, with our true identity—harmony and balance to our whole being.
We experience the sound and light frequencies of glory—God’s nature—for transfiguration from one degree of glory to another. We don’t stay the same. We increase in glory. So we increase in the full revelation of who we are, and begin to express that and live from that place.
Now literally, excitation of light waves of specific frequencies causes our DNA photons to be energised and transformed. That light is God Himself. We begin to be transfigured in light by God, who is light. We become sons of light, living in physical and emotional harmony, health and wholeness—and it all happens by the presence of God.
The symbols of the things in soaking are symbols of God’s presence—of God Himself. God as our Father is calling us to embrace the restrictions of transformation, to receive the freedom of our sonship. And it’s so important that we receive that freedom, so we can receive the full revelation of our eternal destiny—to live trans- and multi-dimensional existences, fully embracing all of the eternal characteristics of sonship that are our eternal identity, our true authentic self.
John 3:30 says, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Now I’ve heard that preached as if it’s something we need to beat ourselves up about—as if we need to put ourselves on the cross every day. It doesn’t mean that. He reveals in me what is like Him—I embrace that. He takes away from me what is not like Him—I embrace that. It’s not something I have to try and do, like “I’ve got to decrease,” as if I’m nobody and nothing and with this sort of false humility. No—this is allowing Him to increase. Therefore, if He increases, then everything that’s not like Him falls away.
So I learn to surrender, where I can present myself to Him—I can be changed, conformed to sonship through this whole process by allowing Him to soak me in His presence.
So, what is soaking? Soaking is to make or allow something to become thoroughly wet by immersing it in liquid—that’s the dictionary definition: to immerse, to steep, to submerge, to submerse, to dip, to sink, to dunk, to bathe, to wet, to rinse, to douse, to marinate, to steep, to pickle. I mean, some of it’s really important.
To baptise in water, to baptise in the Spirit, to baptise in fire—in which we are immersed in those things which bring about the changes. I’ll go into that in more detail in a future session when I look at the heat and how heat transforms us. But the soaking room is the place of preparation that has parallel heavenly encounters in the River of Life, which is a river of energy—of Spirit—and in the river of fire.
God is a consuming fire. His love is a consuming fire. We can be baptised in the River of Life and in the associated waterfalls that cascade down. We can be baptised in the river of fire, engage the altars of fire, engage the process. See, the River of Life is Spirit energy—living water. It’s not H₂O, but the very essence of life, encoded with the frequencies of God—God’s essence. And when we are baptised into it, when we submerge ourselves into it, it begins to change and transform us.
The sound of many waters—it says God’s voice is like the sound of many waters. The sound of many waters are the creational frequencies of God’s voice that will realign us to who God created us to be.
I encourage you right now
just to close your eyes.
Get comfortable.
Begin to relax.
To focus your thinking on God.
Focus your thinking
on God’s love, grace, mercy for you.
Focus your breathing by slowing down.
Breathe in more slowly.
Breathe in more deeply.
And as you’re breathing in,
you’re breathing in
the unconditional love of the Father.
You’re breathing in love.
You’re breathing in joy, and peace.
And as you breathe it in, just receive.
Let it flow into your being.
Whether you feel it, or sense it,
just let it flow.
Continue to be still.
Breathe in
and breathe out slowly.
Breathe in slowly
and breathe out slowly.
Slow everything down and totally relax.
Just become mindful
that you’re cocooned
right now
in God’s presence.
As you are still,
He is cocooning you in love.
He’s loving on you.
Consciously invite love,
invite joy,
invite peace,
to come upon you,
to flow in you,
to flow through you—
to create an atmosphere of rest around you
that you are completely submerged in –
baptised into the higher frequency of love.
Vibrating in that energy.
Vibrating in peace and joy.
Overshadowed with the presence of the Holy Spirit,
energising you,
transforming you,
changing you.
Be open to that overshadowing.
For the presence of God
to rest upon you.
Now, God is eternal. It may seem obvious to say, but it’s important to grasp and understand that we come from that eternal origin. He has always been, He is, and He will always be (Revelation 1:8). He is light (1 John 1:5), He is love (1 John 4:16), He is Spirit (John 4:24), and He is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). If we meditate on these truths and other verses like them, they will open doorways for us to engage with who God is and to begin discovering who we are in that truth.
Meditation is something we need to learn and practice, focusing on these truths to open up revelation as we give ourselves time to rest in them. When we engage Him, we begin to know Him, and through that intimate relationship of beholding Him face to face, we start to understand who we are. Our identity is reflected back to us as we look at Him, revealing that we had our origin in Him.
A living sacrifice
I started by presenting myself as a living sacrifice in the Heavenly Tabernacle. As described in Hebrews, this is not the earthly tabernacle patterned after the heavenly, but the actual heavenly tabernacle designed for us to engage with God’s presence and experience Him. There are figurative elements that show as we progress and mature in our relationship with God, we come into a deeper understanding of Him and His mysteries.
In this process, I was led to engage as a living sacrifice. In other words, I surrendered and presented myself to my High Priest, Jesus, who, after the order of Melchizedek, would prepare me as that living sacrifice. I didn’t have to physically die—I had already died with Him. I had to recognize that my old identity had died, and I now live with Him, as He lives in me.
Mysteries of the Ark
As I entered into deeper intimacy, I also began to engage with the heavenly realms. In the Holy of Holies is the Ark of God’s Presence. Within the mysteries of the Ark, I began to uncover aspects of my identity and destiny. Figuratively, the items within the Ark—the tablets of stone, the manna, and Aaron’s rod that budded—have symbolic meanings. For me, these represented my desire to know my daily mandate, seeking God’s guidance on what was written for me to embrace, how His provision (manna) would help me fulfil it, and the authority (the rod) I had as a son to carry it out.
Every day, I would go to God and ask, “What’s my mandate for today? What do You want me to do?” But this focus on tasks eventually became work-oriented. That’s when God began to draw me back into a place of first love, reminding me that relationship with Him was far more important than doing things for Him. Being with Him became the foundation for everything I would do with Him.
A living connection
My first experience of engaging in the Holy of Holies and the Ark was like the picture of the Ark of the Covenant with the mercy seat and two cherubim covering it. In the Old Testament, God’s presence would appear there once a year when the high priest entered the Holy of Holies to offer atonement for the nation’s sins. When I engaged the Ark, it felt as though one of the cherubim was missing.
Some have hypothesised about this. For me, it signified that the connection was meant for us, as sons, to step in and form that arc with God. In doing so, I became part of a living connection, an arc of energy and life where God’s presence would spark. This is a figurative way of understanding what I perceived.
There are theories that suggest Lucifer was once a covering cherub designed to reflect God’s glory to humanity so we could mature. When he left his place, it left a vacancy for us to step into sonship and make that arc of connection with God. But for me, it was about balancing relationship and responsibility. God reveals His heart, and then He releases His resources to show us our position and authority as sons.
The mysteries of the Dance Floor opened up new experiences for me, leading me deeper into intimacy and, eventually, into my governmental roles within sonship, after the order of Melchizedek. These were not linear experiences but concurrent ones that progressively unveiled truth.
Four faces
After God let me go from the initial embrace of first love, I re-engaged with the Ark, and that’s when I began to see the four faces of God within that connection. These faces were part of the arcing point where I could see into the deeper nature of who God is.
I had never seen the four faces of God before, as I had been focused solely on what was inside the Ark. When this mystery finally unveiled itself, I began to see the revolving faces of the eagle, the lion, the ox and the man. Over a period of about a year, I engaged with each of these faces, starting with the eagle, which seemed to resonate deeply with my identity. Then I moved on to the lion.
As I continued to behold these faces, I saw how they related to my identity, but in hindsight, I realized that I should have begun with the face of the man. This face represented my true identity as a priest in the order of Melchizedek, and had I started there, the process might have unfolded more smoothly. Instead, I initially approached it as a legislator, king, oracle, and then priest. However, the proper order should have been priest, king, oracle, and then legislator. If I had first understood my identity as a royal priest, I would have been able to embrace the fullness of my calling.
Priesthood, our first priority, comes from intimacy with the Father’s heart. It’s from that place of closeness that we outwork the responsibilities of our role. Eventually, once I connected with my priesthood identity, I was able to stand in the name of God—Yod He Vav He—and take up my place among the revolving faces of God. In doing so, I began to carry the power of His name and the frequency of Yod He Vav He, which literally caused me to vibrate with the energy of God’s presence. The name of God activated the “I AM” within me, igniting my role as a priest and helping me see through the eyes of the man.
As a priest, I started to view my life and the world from God’s heart, then transitioned into the lion’s perspective, recognizing my role as a king and understanding my heavenly authority in the royal priesthood. This authority, in turn, prepared me to be an oracle and a legislator on Earth, following the path of the ox and the eagle.
Heavenly perspective
All of this was part of the dance with God that unfolded over time. It took many years for me to reach this point. If, back in 2010, God had told me I was a priest in the order of Melchizedek or an oracle or legislator, I wouldn’t have understood. I would have lacked the heavenly perspective necessary to stand in His name and activate the power of my sonship within that name. But as I engaged with the four faces of God as a priest, I eventually found myself accessing the Eternal Now and discovering my origin there.
Looking back, had I started with priesthood, this process might have unfolded a year earlier. But God allowed me to work it out from where I was. He didn’t force me but led me into deeper illumination and truth. Over time, I found myself within the divine dance of love and intimacy—**perichoresis**—and my identity began to be revealed as my eternal origin within God.
It was only then that I realized I had existed before coming into this world. This was a profound revelation that required significant deconstruction of old mindsets. When I first began to discover first love and my creation within God, I saw the importance of surrendering my soul to the trust of the One who loves us unconditionally.
This process of surrender happens at the level of intimacy we currently have with God, and He doesn’t expect us to go beyond what we are ready for. He meets us where we are but leads us deeper. For me, this culminated in what I call the “dark cloud experience,” which we’ll get to later in this series. Every day, I surrendered as a living sacrifice, asking God to do what He needed to prepare me for who I truly am.
Get out of the boat
In essence, we need to “get out of the boat”—the figurative boat of survival where we are protecting ourselves—and immerse ourselves in the vast ocean of God’s unconditional love. It’s only there, when we are no longer in control, that we can fully experience His love and trust Him completely.
So, get relaxed, get comfortable, and begin to focus on your breathing. Breathe in very, very slowly, hold that breath, and then begin to let that breath out. Breathe in, hold that breath, and breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out. As you’re breathing in, you’re breathing in the unconditional love of the Father. You’re breathing in unconditional love, and that unconditional love is filling you, touching every fibre of your being, flowing through you.
Be still and let God love you in that place. Stay there for a few moments.
You’re in a safe place, cocooned in God’s arms, in God’s love. From that place of safety, you can make the choice to surrender, to whatever level you can, by choosing to get out of the boat. Abandon yourself, surrender to God’s love, and sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love. You can make that choice. Picture yourself in a boat, floating on a vast ocean, and step out of the boat and sink into that love.
As you’re under the water, you can breathe. You’re breathing in love. You’re sinking deeper and deeper into love, experiencing restored First Love, deeper and deeper into love. Choose to let go of anything that comes to your mind—any thoughts, any negative thoughts, any wrong thoughts about yourself, any limitations that may come up, any objections that may come into your mind. Let them go, surrender them, and go deeper and deeper into the trust of God’s protection, God’s blessing, God’s provision around your life. Receive that blessing.
You’re in a safe place of peace and rest. God wants to meet you as Father in that place and unveil something deeper of who you are, of who He is. So, begin to fix your thoughts on seeing the Father face to face. Think about it, set the desire of your heart upon it. Think of the Father embracing you, hugging you. Let those thoughts fill your imagination, to create an image, a doorway. Picture that door in your spirit and choose to open the door. Your choice is an invitation to the Father to come, to hug you, to begin to breathe His breath of life into you, so you can receive the living words of His breath.
Breathe it in. Hear His words: “I love you, I love you, my son, my daughter, I love you.” Be open to hear some of the vast sum of His thoughts. Let them restore you to His original desire for you. Maybe you’ll resonate with them in your spirit—don’t try and figure it out. Be open for an infusion of His thoughts about you, of who you really are.
Now let the Father take you by the hand and lead you. Maybe He’ll lead you to the Garden of Your Heart, maybe He’ll lead you to the dance floor, entwine with you heart to heart, and dance with you into the light and into the Mysteries. As He dances with you, allow your spirit to draw from Him. Let your spirit resonate with that truth. Let the Mysteries be deposited within you—the truth of your identity, the mysteries of your destiny. Go wherever God takes you.
Maybe you can dance with the lover of your soul. Let Him romance you. Let Him sing the song of your life over you. Feel the rhythm, feel the frequency, feel the life as it activates your DNA, as it activates within you.
If you enjoy these videos, would you please take a moment to like, comment, and subscribe, whether here or on YouTube? It really does help. Thank you very much.
The complete fifth session of the current monthly teaching series by Mike Parsons, “Restoring First Love”, originally delivered live in a Zoom with our Patreon patrons. These full length sessions are normally only available to patrons and at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love.
Video Summary
“Mankind’s union with God is the original thought that inspired creation.”
– Francois Du Toit.
Reflecting on my journey with God, I see how He has led me into an extraordinary union and intimacy that I never imagined possible. Initially, I struggled to grasp His love for me beyond the theological, but He gradually revealed my true identity as His Son. In 2008 and 2010, my encounters with God began to go beyond Bible reading: I started meditating on specific verses but soon realised the connection to Heaven was always open.
Experiencing the rivers of Eden flowing through my heart deepened my intimacy with Him. Embracing my experiences without overanalysing them, I used journaling to revisit and deepen them. Opening my heart daily to God became a way of life, guiding me into constant communion.
During a group encounter, I encouraged people to picture a door and invite Jesus in. One participant’s experience in going back through that doorway inspired me to do the same. This shift allowed for a continuous flow between heaven and my heart, guided by Jesus, the Father, or the Spirit.
I engaged with the garden of my heart, resting and planting seeds of testimony by the River of Life; seeds which grew into trees, bearing fruit. My journey included discovering gemstones, scrolls, and a waterfall. Behind the waterfall, I encountered a cave where Enoch gave me transformative quests. These experiences brought me to the Tree of Life and the Throne of Grace. A profound moment under the waterfall showed me God’s love for everyone, even those who have caused harm, removing judgment and deepening my compassion.
On the Throne of Grace, I received a scroll of destiny from the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord. In an intense encounter, the consuming fire of God purified it, leaving only love. Plunging down a waterfall into the Father’s Garden, I felt a deep connection with creation and discovered the origin odf my design. This opened new realms of understanding and intimacy with the Father.
These encounters were all about drawing closer to God in intimacy. The more I have walked this path, the more I have understood the Father’s heart is focused on restoring both our sonship and all creation. In future sessions, I’ll share more about these revelations, and we can explore them together.
Activation: Deeper Into Love
A separate video of this activation is available on our Patreon page, free to view for all; it will be released on YouTube on September 5th.
I’d like to guide you through an activation, to engage wherever God leads you. The key to these experiences is to trust in God’s unconditional love, letting go of control and allowing Him to direct your journey. As you engage in this exercise, be open to the Father’s leading, and embrace the love He shows you.
To start, find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and begin to relax. Focus on connecting with God as your Father or Jesus as your friend and brother. Slow your breathing: inhale deeply through your nose, hold it for a moment, and then exhale slowly.
As you breathe in, draw in the unconditional love of the Father, filling every part of you with His love. Picture yourself cocooned in this love, safe and secure. Allow yourself to sink into the ocean of unconditional love, going deeper and deeper. Stay there for a few minutes.
If you wish to continue, picture a door in your spirit with a handle on your side. Open it and invite the Father, Son and Spirit to embrace you. Feel their love, acceptance and affirmation. Hear them say, “You are my beloved child, in whom I am well pleased.” Stay in this place of love and peace for as long as you like.
If you want to go yet further, envision following the flow of the river into Eden. Step into the river and let it carry you through the heavenly realms. Enjoy the river’s life-giving flow. Look into the water for gems or scrolls, pick up and eat those that attract you, and receive the life and truth they offer.
Stay there, or choose to follow the river upstream to a waterfall. Walk or float under it, feeling God’s love cascading over you. Let the sound of the waters resonate with your heart. Feel God’s love for you and for others. Allow this love to inspire you to forgive and love others as He loves you. Release any unforgiveness or hurt by choosing to forgive and let go.
Feel free to stay in this space or continue exploring as you wish.
To really grasp what the book (Engaging the Father) is about, I’d suggest reading it first to get the overall idea without focusing on the activations. Once you have a good understanding, go back and do the activations separately. This way, you won’t be distracted by wondering what’s next while trying to do the exercises. Reading the book might take a few hours, but doing the activations could take a week. Truly embracing the lifestyle and experiences described might take a month or more. It’s a commitment that many struggle with because of our busy lives, but that’s how we truly learn—through repetition and practice.
I’ve spent many years practicing meditation, starting around 2000, focusing on Bible verses and drawing spiritual insights. By 2008, I had a significant encounter in heaven, after years of visual and meditative practice. Initially, it was difficult since I wasn’t raised with meditation, but over time, it became second nature.
Understanding how to switch between the left and right brain is key. For example, I practised with a YouTube exercise where a spinning ballerina can appear to spin in different directions based on brain dominance. Initially, I couldn’t control how I saw it, but with practice, I learned to switch my perception at will.
This skill is useful in problem-solving and creativity. In my workshop, I might start with left-brain analytical thinking but switch to right-brain creativity when stuck. Practising this switch helps in various situations, like making something for Debbie—who often needs to give me detailed instructions because my functional creations might not meet her aesthetic expectations.
You have to practise these skills; it’s not easy, but with perseverance, it becomes instinctive. Spiritual exercises are always beneficial, even if the results aren’t immediately apparent. Over time, you absorb spiritual knowledge, sometimes without realising it. This process is like osmosis: knowledge becomes part of you naturally.
Engaging with God in spiritual exercises can lead to knowing things instinctively. Sometimes, insights may come unexpectedly during conversations. It’s a gradual process, but a steady drip can soak you as effectively as a downpour. Even if you can’t pinpoint when the change happened, you’ll feel different over time as these spiritual practices become part of you.
Note: Mike’s latest books, Engaging the Father and Into the Dark Cloud, contain links to recordings of many activations (spiritual exercises) that you can do as you read through the material (or not) – and repeat as often as you need afterwards.
is about, I’d suggest reading it first to get the overall idea without focusing on the activations. Once you have a good understanding, go back and do the activations separately. This way, you won’t be distracted by wondering what’s next while trying to do the exercises. Reading the book might take a few hours, but doing the activations could take a week. Truly embracing the lifestyle and experiences described might take a month or more. It’s a commitment that many struggle with because of our busy lives, but that’s how we truly learn—through repetition and practice.
Sons of Issachar 