If you have a particular mandate and you’re with a group of people who don’t understand it and are almost hindering it, there might be others who could join you and enhance that mandate. That’s when we’ve really got to be open to shifting—and not get stuck. We shouldn’t feel obliged to stay in a situation even if others might not understand why we’re moving on. That’s their issue, not ours.
We should definitely be open to new relationships and to discovering others who are on the same path. At the same time, I can have relationships with people at a certain level without needing to be on the same page with them in terms of what they’re doing. That’s true of the people I’m in relationship with. I rejoice in what they’re doing—it’s great—but I don’t feel any desire to do it myself, and I’d never feel pressured into it.
Seemed like a good idea
For example, late last year, we were discussing doing a Restoration of All Things 4 conference. I got swept along with the idea because I have a desire for the restoration of all things. But then I realised I had no energy for it—not even the desire to think about it. When I talked to the Father about it, He said, “Well, you didn’t even really check it out with Me, did you?” And I had to admit, no, I hadn’t. I’d just gone along with it because it seemed like a good idea. But when it came down to it, I realised I had no energy for it at all.
So, I had to say to the others, “Look, I really don’t feel like I want to be involved in doing that.” They said, “Well, we don’t want to do it without you,” and I told them, “That’s fine, but I just don’t feel it’s for me.” So, we decided to shelve that and started talking about things we were all passionate about. As we discussed, we all felt a real energy and connection with something else entirely. When we checked with the Father, we all agreed this was where He was leading us. It was the same group of people, but this time there was energy in it because we really felt it was the Father’s heart.
Life & Immortality
Looking back, I think the original idea felt more like something we ought to do, rather than something we had a deep desire and passion for. It’s okay to be upfront and honest about that. I did feel a bit guilty for saying yes to something that I later realised I wasn’t passionate about, but I had to own up to it. If the others had decided to carry on with the original idea, I would have fully supported them. I would have said, “That’s great—anything I can do to help behind the scenes, let me know.” But I wouldn’t have gone to speak at it because I just didn’t feel I had anything to say.
It’s not that I couldn’t have spoken on the subject—I could have—but there wasn’t any energy for it in me. However, when the right subject came along, it was a completely different story. My heart was fully in it, and I knew I wanted to share around that topic. That’s what we’re going to do!
[Note: this was the Life & Immortality conference with Justin Paul Abraham and others, held in November 2024 – click the image below for details of the audio recordings available from Company of Burning Hearts]
Relationships are important
Even if the others had decided to continue with the original idea, I would have stayed relationally connected to them because relationships are important to me. But I don’t think relationships can ever be used to manipulate someone into doing something. In this case, they weren’t doing that—I was the one who hadn’t taken enough time to reflect and check with the Father. I should have stepped back and thought it through rather than just jumping in. They did nothing wrong, but my response wasn’t the right one initially.
It’s always important to know if the Father is leading you into something. When I reflected, I realised He wasn’t. I should have been more open to that from the beginning. We should never feel obliged to do something just because others ask us or think we should. As soon as we’re doing something out of duty or obligation, we lose the passion for it.
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It’s an interesting thing when you look at the Merkabah, the energy gates, the Sephiroth and the Tree of Life, and how they all relate to spirit, soul and body being fully in union and oneness. It’s not about being pulled one way or the other. I think being out of balance is where the soul is in control and starts taking energy, applying it for its own ends. You could call that a DIY perspective.
God’s built certain basic needs into us—needs He wants to meet, things He wants to provide. But when we’re not looking to Him, we start looking to other people to meet those needs. That’s when we start drawing from them instead of from God, which is out of balance. When the soul is dominant, it can even draw on the energy of the spirit to outwork its own humanistic perspective.
Spirit – Soul Balance
When spirit and soul are balanced, they’re not in tension or pulling against each other; they’re in relationship. Within the body, they work together. Then, when you look at someone else, you’re not looking at them from a selfish or physical perspective. Instead, you see their beauty—that is, who God created them to be. And that beauty could be physical, spiritual, emotional or about their character. There are so many aspects to it.
God wants it all balanced so that spirit and soul are in harmony, not competing. When they’re in balance, the energy flowing between them isn’t corrupted or perverted. It’s not being drawn off independently of our relationship with God. Beauty then becomes about seeing people the way God sees them, not based on what they can do for us or just their physical appearance.
Seeing People Through God’s Lens
When we’re in a balanced place, we can see people as God sees them—looking at their whole being, their aura, even the energy around them. It’s about honouring the person for who they are, who God made them to be. That includes encouraging them, nurturing them, helping meet their needs and seeing beyond the physical.
God meets our five core needs—purpose, security, significance, love and acceptance. But as sons of God, we can also encourage others in their purpose, give them security in our relationships with them, affirm their significance, love them unconditionally and accept them as they are.
A Kingdom Culture
So many people, especially women, feel pressure to look a certain way to gain acceptance. Some even go to extremes, like plastic surgery, to meet those expectations. But in the kingdom, we need a different culture—one where we see beyond the physical to the spirit and soul. We need to demonstrate what it means to honour people for who they really are.
This is where the energies within us—living water from our innermost being—come into play. Spirit and soul need to be in harmony and balance. If they’re off-balance, whether spiritually or emotionally, it affects how we live. You can’t be so spiritually focused that there’s no practical outworking in everyday life. Heavenly things need to be demonstrated on earth—“on earth as it is in heaven.”
Living in Oneness
When spirit, soul and body are in union and harmony, we have the energy we need to be ourselves. That balance comes through renewing our minds, healing our hearts and focusing our energy with the right motive—one of union and oneness with God. It’s about doing things from that balanced perspective, not from a soul-driven or selfish motivation.
When we’re balanced, we can look at someone and see the whole person—their frequency, their aura, their being—and honour who God created them to be. We can bless them with our attitude and approach, seeing them with love and respect. It’s about recognising the beauty and wholeness of the person, just as God intended.
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When it comes to experiencing the presence of God in the supernatural, we tend to have a perspective on what we think the supernatural is. Therefore, it’s anything above normal, everyday life. What I would say to you is that God wants us to live as though the normal is what is called the supernatural. But it’s not a suspension of normality; rather, it’s living in the presence of God within the life that we live. And that is a relationship, and the relationship takes time to develop. You know, although you say, “Well, I want the reality rather than just knowledge or information,” that’s fine. That’s what God wants us to have. But what that looks like must be how He has designed it to look for us, not like anybody else. You can’t look at my life and compare my life to yours because we are different. I have a journey; I’ve come from a place, and I’ve gone through processes in my life to bring me to the place where I now am, and I have a purpose in God in that.
I would encourage you to develop your relationship. Forget about what you think the supernatural is. Just start to develop a relationship with God, which is in the reality of your life.
Now, that can start with what’s inside. God is in you. Start with engaging God in you. Don’t start with, “I want to go to heaven,” “I want to do this,” “I want to go to this dimension,” or “I want to do that.” Start with God every day. Jesus said that within us is a fountain of life in John 4, from which we can drink. That’s a source of life of the Spirit. That is supernatural because it’s not coming from the natural, but it’s coming from a heavenly, spiritual dimension.
So, living a spiritual life in the natural world, you can draw and drink from that source, which is what you’re saying: “I am not going to go for any of these worldly sources for my life. I am going to engage in that reality with You.” And don’t put an agenda on it. The key is not to put an agenda so that you are determining what that process will look like and what it will look like to live in the spiritual dimension within this natural world. Let Him lead you on that journey. Let Him dictate it. But I would encourage you to spend the time developing the relationship, and in the relationship, allow Him to lead you on the journey. So, spend time with Him without an agenda.
Just enjoy His presence. Ask Him to reveal His presence, show Himself, so you can feel His love. Do the meditation for rest exercise that we have available. It’s a very simple exercise. I do it in the Patreon sessions. Close your eyes, and you can do it right now. Close your eyes, just come to a place of peace and rest. Get comfortable, start to think about the presence of God the Father. Start to think about love. Start to think about joy and peace, and just focus your attention and your thinking on the presence of the Father.
You can then think about a river or a fountain within you and turn inwards with your thinking to the presence of the Father within you, within your spirit. Just choose to drink from that fountain. Picture the fountain if you can, or just choose with your imagination to say, “No, I’m going to drink from the fountain. I’m going to receive spiritual life. I’m going to receive spiritual energy. I’m going to receive love.” Love is filling me. Love is filling me. It’s bubbling up, it’s increasing in me. Joy is filling me. Peace is filling me.
And as you drink deeper and deeper, that becomes your source. Then, whatever the experience is, whatever you’re feeling about the experience, just practise. Just train your senses through practice every day. Just turn inwards, thank God for His presence in you. Thank Jesus, thank the Holy Spirit, thank the Father for them being within you. Thank them for placing within you a fountain of life, of energy, of spirit that you can draw from. Be grateful, be thankful, and just bit by bit, begin to develop.
And, you know, I’ve done lots of stuff about hearing the voice of God and being still. Generally, it’s being still, so you can know God.
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am loved.
Be still and know that I am peace.
Be still and know that I am joy.
Sometimes we have to stop trying and just rest and be still. Then begin to focus our thinking, our attention on Him, so that we can begin to feel and sense what it is to be connected to the presence of the Father within us, and then let it go from there.
When it comes to angels, you know, I only do what the Father shows me to do. You have your own angels. So, again, what I would encourage you to do rather than me trying to send my angel to you so you can have an experience, is that you’re reliant on me. That isn’t going to teach you how to do it for yourself. So, what I would do again is close my eyes. I would begin to think about the angels that are behind you. They’re with you. They’re your angels, they’re assigned to you. Begin to think about them. Focus your thinking on them.
Then, thank them that they’re there and thank them for helping you in your life. Talk to them and ask them what their names are. See if any thoughts come into your mind. Every day, after you’ve engaged God, just engage those angels. Thank them that they’re with you. Ask them to help you in the day, help them to go forward. If you’re travelling, ask them to do things for you. Just become conscious so that you can begin to experience that reality. But don’t strive and stress for it. Just gently practice it.
You’re going to engage your angels. If you engage them, you’re not likely to experience them if you don’t engage them. So, choose to engage them, even if you can’t see them or can’t feel anything. They’re there, so engage them as if they are there. Talk to them, thank them, communicate with them, and they’ll begin to communicate with you. It might be a thought, it might be an impression, it might be a word in your mind, but they will begin to communicate, just as the Father will communicate. Just draw from the right source.
Practice, practice, practice. Don’t get frustrated. Don’t set the agenda for what it looks like. Just choose to give yourself the time as a priority in your life to make room to experience these things, and things will grow and develop. You can live in a spiritual dynamic in everyday life as God intends you to do.
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I think practice helps, but ultimately it’s about desire, relationship, and intention. Discipline often gets framed as just trying harder or forcing yourself to practise even when you don’t feel like it. But in reality, it’s not about effort; it’s about relaxing into it. When it comes to ascending or engaging spiritually, the easiest and best thing to do is relax. Meditation and engaging with God are always better when you’re relaxed.
Don’t approach it with an agenda. Don’t force it or try to control it. Just set your heart’s desire on the Father, on Jesus, and let them lead the encounter. Whether the encounter comes as a vision or just an impression doesn’t really matter. When you talk about engaging through the eyes of your imagination, think of it as the screen where everything happens in your mind. That’s where you perceive, hear, see, smell, or otherwise sense things. It’s the place where both natural and spiritual stimuli are interpreted.
The brain processes spiritual senses in a similar way to how it processes physical senses—through electrical impulses. These impulses come from stimuli, whether physical or spiritual, and the brain learns to interpret them. Just as a child learns language through repeated exposure to sounds, we learn to interpret spiritual senses over time. It’s a process of practice, repetition, and intention.
If your desire is to engage with the Father, start by simply ‘being’, relaxed and present. Don’t put an agenda on it. Let him set the agenda. When you open yourself up to him without a specific goal in mind, you create space for him to reveal what you need to know and experience. It becomes a journey—a walk with him.
For example, when it comes to things like portals, I’ve never tried to force my way through one. The Father led me through them when the time was right. Early on, I didn’t even go through portals; I just observed things coming through them. Later, when the Father led me to a portal, I went through it because he took me there, not because I pushed my way in. It’s about letting him lead instead of striving to figure everything out on your own.
I used to be the kind of person who always needed to know, to understand, to push through and figure things out. But that was me operating in my own strength, trying to validate myself. When God separated my soul and spirit and then reintegrated them, it set me free from that need. I didn’t have to pursue knowledge or understanding in the same way anymore. Now, I can simply be open to whatever experience he wants to give me.
Sometimes my experiences aren’t visual at all. They’re more like a deep knowing or perception. For example, I’ve journaled encounters with my eyes open, writing down what I was experiencing as if I were seeing it, even though I wasn’t seeing anything physically. The encounter was real—it was just perceived differently.
When it comes to engaging spiritually, start internally. Focus on the garden of your heart, your spirit, and your first love for God. Let the rivers of living water flow, lie down in green pastures, rest by quiet waters. Let the Father set the agenda—what he wants to show you, talk to you about, or take you into. Then, as you follow him, those experiences will naturally unfold.
Don’t try to force things. If he wants to take you through a portal, great! If not, that’s fine too. The key is not to push for an experience just because you want one. Instead, ask the Father to open up what that experience is meant to be and then learn to listen and sense his voice. When you go with his voice, you don’t need to set or force an agenda. Just relax and enjoy the journey he’s taking you on.
That journey will lead you to discover who you truly are. And as you step into that identity, you’ll begin to express it naturally, living out the Father’s heart in your everyday life and circumstances. It’s about being who you were always meant to be and letting that flow out into everything you do.
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If you are operating from the Father’s heart, doing only what the Father’s intentions are, then you can take the promise that all these things will be added to you and then outwork that promise. When it says, “take no thought,” it does not mean trying to live in denial or suppressing what might be the truth. Rather, it means not worrying about it, as your trust is in God’s provision.
God’s provision can come in many different ways—sometimes through work, sometimes through people blessing us, or in other ways. The phrase “take no thought” does not mean to avoid thinking about a situation but instead to avoid worry. It encourages us to bring the situation to the Father. Scripture says, “Come boldly to the throne of grace when you have a time of need to find grace and mercy.” There is nothing wrong with coming to the Father, saying, “I am running out of money for the end of the month,” and seeing what the Father’s heart is on the matter. Yet, you do not come from a place of worry or lack, but rather with a heart that shares your needs and life with the Father. Sharing your life with the Father is good and healthy. “Take no thought” does not mean you cannot think about it; it simply means not to dwell on it in a negative way based on worry, anxiety, or fear.
When you seek first the kingdom of God, all these things will be added, but that does not mean we are not involved in the “adding.” For instance, we may, as the Father directs us, call for things that are not as though they are. We can call for finance to manifest in our lives or for the manifestation of other things we need. We do not have to be negative or passive about it; we can be active and seek the Father’s heart for any guidance He would provide. We might be involved in that manifestation spiritually, by establishing things in heaven so they can be manifested on earth, or physically and practically, such as by taking up a job or something similar. But that involvement is as the Father directs us. The key is to seek first the kingdom, meaning to seek first God’s rule and His way of life.
The kingdom should not be thought of as a vast realm encompassing the universe; rather, consider the rule of God in and through your life. Ask yourself: what is God calling you to establish on earth as it is in heaven? Break it down to the basics and assess whether what you are doing aligns with God’s purpose for you. Are your actions consistent with who He made you to be? It is good to take time to reflect—are you in the right place, doing the right things and walking in line with the Father’s Heart?
Remember, your destiny is not a list of tasks but the person you are meant to be. It is about who you are, and once you understand that, it will naturally shape what you do. Sometimes, reflection with the Father reveals that you are on the right path, and you can continue looking for daily opportunities to outwork that. Other times, He might signal that it is time for a change—a new season, place or direction. Make changes only if you are led by the Father to do so, but remember that asking Him is always welcome. The Father wants us to ask. Scripture reminds us, “You do not have because you do not ask.” This is not about pleading but sharing your current state with Him so He can guide you, bring you peace and rest, and help you outwork these truths in your life and heart.
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That’s where you can abide and dwell, whether you do it consciously or whether you’re doing it unconsciously; it’s all the time. We are seated with him in heavenly places. It’s happening all the time; we just become more aware of it and benefit from it. But it’s happening all the time. You know, I used to want to know what was going on, what you wanted me to do, what my mandate was, and what I was supposed to be doing, all this stuff. I was still driven by an old covenant mindset of works, obedience, duty, and obligation.
I just relaxed as I realised how much I’m unconditionally loved. I relaxed and I just dwell in His presence, in the light of His face, in the heart-to-heart intimacy. I dwell there, so there’s this constant flow of truth, revelation, experience, intimacy—whatever all the different names for it are—that’s flowing all the time. Now, sometimes, yes, I consciously turn into that and I engage with it consciously because it’s great to be in that intimate place of being surrounded by love, light, and truth. It’s amazing, and it’s good to experience that cognitively at times, as long as we don’t make the cognitive experience our goal.
Know by experience
We have to know by cognitive experience; otherwise, we won’t believe. I do have cognitive experiences at times, but most of the dwelling and abiding in His presence is in the spirit, not in the soul or the flesh. It’s in the spirit. My spirit is constantly dwelling and abiding in God’s presence, and that wonderful place of abiding is what brings the peace, joy, and love into my life, flowing all the time. This reveals the Father’s heart. Going back to the first question, it was all about how do you have this wisdom to know what the Father’s heart is? It gets infused when you dwell and abide there. He constantly reveals His heart to you, and you just instinctively flow from His heart rather than what I used to do, which was to want to go and get my mandate for today.
Yes, God gave me that mandate because He’s gracious and merciful. I was still a child, if you like, and I still didn’t know Him that well, so I still wanted to know what He wanted me to do. Now I dwell in His presence and I live my life in a way that is filled with love, joy, and peace, being at rest, and working every day in every situation with that amazing love that He has. Therefore, in any situation, do I have to sort of go and do this SOS prayer to God, saying, “Oh God, help me! I need to know what I’m supposed to do here”? No, I instinctively know what to do, and the more intimate I am, the easier that flow is to just be. I just need to be me in a situation, whereas before I needed to know what to do.
At rest
Now I feel I’m at rest. Before, I thought I was at rest, but actually, I was still needing to do. Now I just need to be, and everything flows out of that being. Most of it is just me being me. I don’t need to have a whole list of things to do. When someone says, “Oh, will you pray for me?” I don’t say, “Oh God, do I have permission to pray for this person?” No, I just need to be me, and if I feel how to pray for that person or engage with them, then I just express that. I don’t need to think, “Oh, how should I pray? What should I do? Do I need to pray in tongues for five minutes to tune in?” All of that was like work, and part of it was that I didn’t want to get it wrong. I wanted to get it right.
Now I just need to be instinctively me in that situation, and I find that sometimes I say things or do things or hug someone, or whatever it might be, instinctively without having that need to know what I’m supposed to do. Because I know that if I’m being me, I’m going to be expressing the father’s heart—the me He made me to be, not the me that I might have been or what other people want me to be, but the me that He made me to be, which comes from the revelation of the Father’s heart that I’m experiencing in that intimacy of dwelling and abiding there.
Enjoy!
It is so much easier than I ever thought. All the other stuff that I used to do, and I am still doing it in the spirit in a multi-dimensional way, I’m still just expressing me in it. I don’t need that great list of instructions anymore; I just don’t need it. Life takes on such a joyful position because I enjoy being. I enjoy being alive. I enjoy being in the garden, I enjoy being in the workshop, I enjoy being.
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Dominion is the rule of God or the government of God. It is a government of life. When Jesus said that the enemy wants to rob, kill, and destroy, but He has come to give us life in abundance, that’s what He meant. It wasn’t a case of just getting through by the skin of your teeth and hoping for the best. It was about abundance. He came to give us a whole, restored relationship and connection to creation. But we have to bring that government and peace because there is no end to the increase of God’s government and peace in the Kingdom of God. We have to seek first the Kingdom of God so that everything else is added to us. We can’t live selfishly or independently. We’ve got to live an interdependent life with God, dependent on His life, with rivers of living water flowing in our innermost being.
Well, what is that river doing? It’s bringing life wherever it goes. If you read Ezekiel, it talks about the temple and the water that went under the threshold of the temple, going ankle-deep, knee-deep, waist-deep, until it was flowing. What was its purpose? To bring life wherever it went. So, initially, that river flows in us because we are the temple of the River of Life. The Spirit is flowing in us, and it should bring life to us, energising, restoring, and making us whole. Then, as recipients of that, we are to flow that outward, creating an environment or atmosphere of it around us—fields of energy. Peter had an energy field around him, and it says his shadow healed somebody. Well, it wasn’t his shadow, as the shadow is just an absence of light. It was the energy within him that created the shadow. Was it the sun, or was it his own light? Who knows? They used the best words they could to describe what happened, but they weren’t scientists using scientific expressions to explain what really occurred when Peter walked past someone and they were healed. I believe he was producing an energy field that brought life.
Our capacity as sons of God
Now, we’re discovering wellness and technology that produces energy fields, life, and health, but I do ultimately believe it will be through the power of our own choosing of reality and consciousness. Our consciousness is expanding to fully embrace the capacity we have as sons of God, just as Adam did, using sound, light, and energy—things we are only now beginning to discover technologically. He had the power of his own mind and consciousness to choose, and creation responded to him as a son of God, to be fruitful, to multiply, to fill the earth, to overcome, and to rule, having that dominion. But you can’t do that by living independently and selfishly. Jesus came to model this, but He only did what He saw the Father doing. So, we need intimacy with the Father if we are to live that sort of life.
A lot of people just want to live forever, but they don’t necessarily want to live forever in the purposes of God. They just don’t want to die so they can carry on having a good time. Whereas I don’t want to die because I want to outwork the purposes of God. It’s a different motivation. If it’s going to be technology that extends life, guess who will get it first? The rich, the wealthy, those who can afford to pay millions or billions for it. But that’s not how God wants it to be. He shows no partiality. This technology, or these abilities when restored, are for everyone, not just a few. That’s why we must ensure that any discoveries related to health, agriculture, and energy are for everyone, not just some. These things need to come into the right hands and be administered correctly, not just treated as another discovery to be suppressed or kept for the few. God wants to bless every family on the earth, not just some, and certainly not just the rich ones.
Hidden from view
That’s why the administration of these discoveries, such as advances in energy, agriculture, and water, needs to be done properly. A lot of new advances are out there, coming from heaven, but they are being administered away from the usual people who control all this stuff—the financiers who essentially control the energy producers. There have been many free energy solutions out there for a while, but they’ve been suppressed because no one is going to make any money out of free energy. There’s no incentive for it. Boilers and cars that run on water have been possible for some time, but these technologies have been suppressed and could never get funding or come to market.
We need new energy sources not based on heavy metals, which are poisonous, but perhaps on gravity or other natural things that can produce energy. And there’s also the quantum field, producing zero-point energy from the quantum field, as it’s designed to re-energise the planet. We are being re-energised all the time, but we’re not focusing that into specific energy that can be used to power things or run things. So, a lot of interesting things are happening behind the scenes, much of it hidden from view, being prepared to be released at the right time to the right people in the right places.
Let’s be honest, if there were new advances in water technology, for instance, that meant water could function like a gel to irrigate crops, who should get that first? Third-world countries that have no irrigation, living in famine and drought. We don’t really need it in America or the UK, because we have plenty of water and irrigation. So let’s ensure that those who need it most get it first, because that is what God would want. But that’s not going to make money, is it? They can’t pay for it. We want these developments in the hands of those who won’t charge for it.
The well-being economy
So there’s a lot that needs to be in place in terms of the government of God, the rule of God, to facilitate the changes that need to happen to bring about heaven on earth; to bring about the well-being economy, where we focus more on people being happy than being rich. Finances shouldn’t be the measure of the world, but they’ve become the measure over the last couple of centuries—particularly in the last 2,000 years, and even worse over the last 400 or 500 years—where most of the world is controlled by very few people using their influence and money to control things. God wants everyone to be blessed, not just some.
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We cannot know who God really is other than through unconditional love, and we cannot know our true identity other than through unconditional love, because it is revealed in that loving relationship with God himself. The verse I want to highlight here is Jeremiah 17:9. When you compare the NIV with the Septuagint, you see how God’s view of mankind has been twisted by the incorrect translation of this verse.
In the NIV, it reads: “The heart is deceitful above all things.” That’s a powerful statement. “And beyond cure.” Well, that’s a pretty hopeless statement: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Now, that statement has had a major effect on how people view themselves and others, putting them in a position where the soul is never fully healed, made whole, or restored, because if it’s so wicked, deceitful, and beyond cure, how can it be? It’s beyond healing, beyond restoration. But I don’t believe that’s true.
The heart of man is deep
So, what does the Septuagint say? In Jeremiah 17:9 (which is Jeremiah 17:5 in the Septuagint due to the differences in verse structure), it says: “The heart of man is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him?” In reality, what this is saying is that our heart is not wicked, deceitful, and beyond cure. Instead, it is deep beyond anything we could understand ourselves, and it really is who we are. Therefore, we cannot know who we really are in our own flesh, in our own understanding; it has to come through our relationship with God.
This different translation shapes how we perceive ourselves and others. The NIV gives a very low view of humanity. I was conditioned by that view: man being wicked, corrupted, totally depraved. It created a theological spectrum of “worm theology” – the belief that you are no one and nothing, and you had better hope that God has mercy on you. Even after receiving salvation, many Christians still don’t believe who they truly are. They still believe they need to be humble and think poorly of themselves, giving them a diminished view of being sons and Christians, less than what God intended us to have.
The value of the soul
If our heart is deceitful, desperately wicked, and beyond cure, then what hope is there for us? It fosters the mindset of always being a sinner “saved by grace.” It’s a bit like the story of Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore, who always has this downbeat attitude: “Oh, I’m no good, and everything is going to be bad.” It creates that dynamic. This degrades the soul’s value and worth, leading to a belief that you can never really trust it.
When we first enter into a relationship where our spirit and soul are reconnected with the Holy Spirit, there’s a struggle between the soul and spirit. The soul is accustomed to dictating how we live based on what we believe, our upbringing, and our experiences, while the spirit brings us into the revelation of who we really are, revealing our true eternal nature. It draws us back to the fact that God has placed eternity in our hearts and wants to bring us into an amazing relationship, where we come home and return to Him.
That relationship is completely undermined by the degrading of the value of the soul. In the early church, especially within the Catholic tradition, this mindset led to self-persecution – people whipping themselves, kneeling on broken glass, and engaging in horrendous acts. Why did they think that way? Because they believed they were lesser than God intended. This view creates suspicion of the soul and devalues humanity. By degrading humanity, there’s a gospel message to sell: “We’re so bad, we need saving,” using the fear of punishment to sell that message.
Fearfully and wonderfully made
The reality is, God doesn’t view us as bad. He sees us through the lens of Jesus and who He made us to be – His sons. We’ve always been His sons; we’ve never not been His sons. But that’s not how I was taught to believe. I was taught to believe that I wasn’t good enough and never would be. And while we can’t be good enough in our own strength, when we become who we truly are, we begin to live out a whole different dynamic of sonship.
The Septuagint actually says the heart of man is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. The human heart is deep, multifaceted, and amazing, created in God’s image and likeness. Psalm 139 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has a vast sum of amazing thoughts about us, and we need to learn those thoughts. Our minds need to be deconstructed from the negative things we might have believed, so we can know the truth of agreeing with God about who we really are.
Now, God is eternal. It may seem obvious to say, but it’s important to grasp and understand that we come from that eternal origin. He has always been, He is, and He will always be (Revelation 1:8). He is light (1 John 1:5), He is love (1 John 4:16), He is Spirit (John 4:24), and He is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). If we meditate on these truths and other verses like them, they will open doorways for us to engage with who God is and to begin discovering who we are in that truth.
Meditation is something we need to learn and practice, focusing on these truths to open up revelation as we give ourselves time to rest in them. When we engage Him, we begin to know Him, and through that intimate relationship of beholding Him face to face, we start to understand who we are. Our identity is reflected back to us as we look at Him, revealing that we had our origin in Him.
A living sacrifice
I started by presenting myself as a living sacrifice in the Heavenly Tabernacle. As described in Hebrews, this is not the earthly tabernacle patterned after the heavenly, but the actual heavenly tabernacle designed for us to engage with God’s presence and experience Him. There are figurative elements that show as we progress and mature in our relationship with God, we come into a deeper understanding of Him and His mysteries.
In this process, I was led to engage as a living sacrifice. In other words, I surrendered and presented myself to my High Priest, Jesus, who, after the order of Melchizedek, would prepare me as that living sacrifice. I didn’t have to physically die—I had already died with Him. I had to recognize that my old identity had died, and I now live with Him, as He lives in me.
Mysteries of the Ark
As I entered into deeper intimacy, I also began to engage with the heavenly realms. In the Holy of Holies is the Ark of God’s Presence. Within the mysteries of the Ark, I began to uncover aspects of my identity and destiny. Figuratively, the items within the Ark—the tablets of stone, the manna, and Aaron’s rod that budded—have symbolic meanings. For me, these represented my desire to know my daily mandate, seeking God’s guidance on what was written for me to embrace, how His provision (manna) would help me fulfil it, and the authority (the rod) I had as a son to carry it out.
Every day, I would go to God and ask, “What’s my mandate for today? What do You want me to do?” But this focus on tasks eventually became work-oriented. That’s when God began to draw me back into a place of first love, reminding me that relationship with Him was far more important than doing things for Him. Being with Him became the foundation for everything I would do with Him.
A living connection
My first experience of engaging in the Holy of Holies and the Ark was like the picture of the Ark of the Covenant with the mercy seat and two cherubim covering it. In the Old Testament, God’s presence would appear there once a year when the high priest entered the Holy of Holies to offer atonement for the nation’s sins. When I engaged the Ark, it felt as though one of the cherubim was missing.
Some have hypothesised about this. For me, it signified that the connection was meant for us, as sons, to step in and form that arc with God. In doing so, I became part of a living connection, an arc of energy and life where God’s presence would spark. This is a figurative way of understanding what I perceived.
There are theories that suggest Lucifer was once a covering cherub designed to reflect God’s glory to humanity so we could mature. When he left his place, it left a vacancy for us to step into sonship and make that arc of connection with God. But for me, it was about balancing relationship and responsibility. God reveals His heart, and then He releases His resources to show us our position and authority as sons.
The mysteries of the Dance Floor opened up new experiences for me, leading me deeper into intimacy and, eventually, into my governmental roles within sonship, after the order of Melchizedek. These were not linear experiences but concurrent ones that progressively unveiled truth.
Four faces
After God let me go from the initial embrace of first love, I re-engaged with the Ark, and that’s when I began to see the four faces of God within that connection. These faces were part of the arcing point where I could see into the deeper nature of who God is.
I had never seen the four faces of God before, as I had been focused solely on what was inside the Ark. When this mystery finally unveiled itself, I began to see the revolving faces of the eagle, the lion, the ox and the man. Over a period of about a year, I engaged with each of these faces, starting with the eagle, which seemed to resonate deeply with my identity. Then I moved on to the lion.
As I continued to behold these faces, I saw how they related to my identity, but in hindsight, I realized that I should have begun with the face of the man. This face represented my true identity as a priest in the order of Melchizedek, and had I started there, the process might have unfolded more smoothly. Instead, I initially approached it as a legislator, king, oracle, and then priest. However, the proper order should have been priest, king, oracle, and then legislator. If I had first understood my identity as a royal priest, I would have been able to embrace the fullness of my calling.
Priesthood, our first priority, comes from intimacy with the Father’s heart. It’s from that place of closeness that we outwork the responsibilities of our role. Eventually, once I connected with my priesthood identity, I was able to stand in the name of God—Yod He Vav He—and take up my place among the revolving faces of God. In doing so, I began to carry the power of His name and the frequency of Yod He Vav He, which literally caused me to vibrate with the energy of God’s presence. The name of God activated the “I AM” within me, igniting my role as a priest and helping me see through the eyes of the man.
As a priest, I started to view my life and the world from God’s heart, then transitioned into the lion’s perspective, recognizing my role as a king and understanding my heavenly authority in the royal priesthood. This authority, in turn, prepared me to be an oracle and a legislator on Earth, following the path of the ox and the eagle.
Heavenly perspective
All of this was part of the dance with God that unfolded over time. It took many years for me to reach this point. If, back in 2010, God had told me I was a priest in the order of Melchizedek or an oracle or legislator, I wouldn’t have understood. I would have lacked the heavenly perspective necessary to stand in His name and activate the power of my sonship within that name. But as I engaged with the four faces of God as a priest, I eventually found myself accessing the Eternal Now and discovering my origin there.
Looking back, had I started with priesthood, this process might have unfolded a year earlier. But God allowed me to work it out from where I was. He didn’t force me but led me into deeper illumination and truth. Over time, I found myself within the divine dance of love and intimacy—**perichoresis**—and my identity began to be revealed as my eternal origin within God.
It was only then that I realized I had existed before coming into this world. This was a profound revelation that required significant deconstruction of old mindsets. When I first began to discover first love and my creation within God, I saw the importance of surrendering my soul to the trust of the One who loves us unconditionally.
This process of surrender happens at the level of intimacy we currently have with God, and He doesn’t expect us to go beyond what we are ready for. He meets us where we are but leads us deeper. For me, this culminated in what I call the “dark cloud experience,” which we’ll get to later in this series. Every day, I surrendered as a living sacrifice, asking God to do what He needed to prepare me for who I truly am.
Get out of the boat
In essence, we need to “get out of the boat”—the figurative boat of survival where we are protecting ourselves—and immerse ourselves in the vast ocean of God’s unconditional love. It’s only there, when we are no longer in control, that we can fully experience His love and trust Him completely.
So, get relaxed, get comfortable, and begin to focus on your breathing. Breathe in very, very slowly, hold that breath, and then begin to let that breath out. Breathe in, hold that breath, and breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out. As you’re breathing in, you’re breathing in the unconditional love of the Father. You’re breathing in unconditional love, and that unconditional love is filling you, touching every fibre of your being, flowing through you.
Be still and let God love you in that place. Stay there for a few moments.
You’re in a safe place, cocooned in God’s arms, in God’s love. From that place of safety, you can make the choice to surrender, to whatever level you can, by choosing to get out of the boat. Abandon yourself, surrender to God’s love, and sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love. You can make that choice. Picture yourself in a boat, floating on a vast ocean, and step out of the boat and sink into that love.
As you’re under the water, you can breathe. You’re breathing in love. You’re sinking deeper and deeper into love, experiencing restored First Love, deeper and deeper into love. Choose to let go of anything that comes to your mind—any thoughts, any negative thoughts, any wrong thoughts about yourself, any limitations that may come up, any objections that may come into your mind. Let them go, surrender them, and go deeper and deeper into the trust of God’s protection, God’s blessing, God’s provision around your life. Receive that blessing.
You’re in a safe place of peace and rest. God wants to meet you as Father in that place and unveil something deeper of who you are, of who He is. So, begin to fix your thoughts on seeing the Father face to face. Think about it, set the desire of your heart upon it. Think of the Father embracing you, hugging you. Let those thoughts fill your imagination, to create an image, a doorway. Picture that door in your spirit and choose to open the door. Your choice is an invitation to the Father to come, to hug you, to begin to breathe His breath of life into you, so you can receive the living words of His breath.
Breathe it in. Hear His words: “I love you, I love you, my son, my daughter, I love you.” Be open to hear some of the vast sum of His thoughts. Let them restore you to His original desire for you. Maybe you’ll resonate with them in your spirit—don’t try and figure it out. Be open for an infusion of His thoughts about you, of who you really are.
Now let the Father take you by the hand and lead you. Maybe He’ll lead you to the Garden of Your Heart, maybe He’ll lead you to the dance floor, entwine with you heart to heart, and dance with you into the light and into the Mysteries. As He dances with you, allow your spirit to draw from Him. Let your spirit resonate with that truth. Let the Mysteries be deposited within you—the truth of your identity, the mysteries of your destiny. Go wherever God takes you.
Maybe you can dance with the lover of your soul. Let Him romance you. Let Him sing the song of your life over you. Feel the rhythm, feel the frequency, feel the life as it activates your DNA, as it activates within you.
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The Gardens of Lakah showed me how much God, who is Father, Son, and Spirit, loved me and desired a deeper relationship with me, restoring me to be part of a family. I didn’t really understand family, because my own experiences didn’t give me a full understanding of what family and relationship really were in my childhood. Now, as an adult with a family, I looked to my work and what I then discovered in that relationship, but I wasn’t always successful. The Father, however, desired to reveal to me my sonship identity within family – not independently, not just between me and God, but within the family of God. There was only so much I could handle at that stage, so God revealed the amount of truth I could bear, while mysteries that I couldn’t yet handle would be unveiled to me in the future.
That’s what happened in that dance-floor experience, similar to what Jesus said to his disciples in John 16:12: “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them at the present.” All of us have the Spirit of Truth within us, guiding us into all truth, but we may not always be able to handle that truth. Like in the famous film quote, “You can’t handle the truth,” I couldn’t handle it all at once. Some truths were unveiled gradually, allowing me to handle more and more until those truths deconstructed the lies I had believed. My experiences were progressive, often mysterious, but that’s okay – we don’t have to understand everything.
Segullah
God brought me into the Segullah relationship – a deep, treasured connection where He declares, “You are my treasured possession; you are the apple of my eye.” This was the revelation I received through these dance-floor encounters, showing me who God is and revealing my true identity and destiny as a son. I didn’t fully understand sonship initially, but through these dances with God in my heart – a place of intimacy and revelation – I became entwined with Him, moving deeper into union and unveiling who I really am. This slow, intimate dance, moving between light and darkness, wasn’t about fear, but about trust in the Lover of my soul, who was capturing my heart more and more.
The song “Behold, you have come over the hills upon the mountains, to me you will run, my beloved, you’ve captured my heart” perfectly captures what God did in the garden – He captured my heart. He desired this deeper intimacy, and I pursued more of Him. The romance of this relationship continued as we danced to the song of all songs, not one I heard with words, but one I felt – a frequency resonating with the truth of my origin in Him. This dance revealed my identity, my DNA as a son of God, and the very essence of who I am. Through this, I began to go beyond into the mystery of sonship – far beyond what I could imagine – but God danced me into it, and later I would resonate with what I’d experienced there.
[This is an except from Mike’s current teaching series, Restoring First Love. Get the full length videos every month, only at eg.freedomarc.org/first-love]
Darkness and light
Psalm 139:10 says, “Even there your right hand will lead me, and your right hand will take hold of me.” At first, I found it difficult to understand why there was darkness, but then I came across this verse. Jesus is at the right hand of the Father, symbolising where we sit in a position of authority beside the Father. He holds our left hand with His right, giving us authority and guiding us. He led me in the dance – I wasn’t leading, I was following Him.
When I felt overwhelmed, as if the darkness was too much, I remembered Psalm 139:11-12: “If I say, surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night, even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is as bright as the day.” This isn’t about physical darkness, but about revelation and the illumination of truth. There were things not yet illuminated to me, mysteries I couldn’t comprehend. Even though everything is known to God, to me, many things were still unknown. Yet God prepared me, placing the frequency of those experiences within me so that the mysteries would eventually lead me into the light of revelation.
Psalm 139:13 is a passage I’ve meditated on a lot: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” The psalmist could declare this with confidence, but I struggled to say it because I viewed myself through the lens of my humanity and failures, rather than my sonship. But this was what God wanted to engage me in – the truth of who I am as His creation, even though I couldn’t fully accept it at first.
Psalm 139 continues: “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” This doesn’t mean we have a limited number of days, but that our ordained days as sons of God were written and belong to us in our sonship. It speaks of the eternal nature of who we are in God. God’s thoughts towards me, as it says in verse 17, are vast, beyond my ability to think for myself. But over time, He revealed them to me, helping me to see myself as He sees me.
So, I humbled myself under God’s mighty hand, accepting His view of who I am, rather than trying to validate myself through my own works. I was danced into the light of revelation and also into the darkness of mystery – those things I couldn’t yet comprehend with my mind, but which my spirit resonated with and was drawn to. Later, these mysteries were unveiled as I grew in understanding.
Activation
So, get relaxed. Begin to focus on your breathing. Breathe in very, very slowly, hold that breath, and then begin to let it out. As you’re breathing in, you’re breathing in the unconditional love of the Father. That unconditional love is filling you, touching every fibre of your being. It’s flowing through you.
Picture that door in your spirit and choose to open the door. Your choice is an invitation to the Father, for Him to come and hug you. Hear His words: “I love you. I love you, my son, my daughter. I love you.”
Hear some of the vast sum of His thoughts. Let them restore you to His original desire for you. Maybe you’ll resonate with them in your spirit. Be open to an infusion of His thoughts about you—of who you really are.
Now, let the Father take you by the hand and lead you. Maybe He’ll lead you to the dance floor, entwine with you heart to heart, and dance with you into the light and into the mysteries. As He dances with you, allow your spirit to draw from Him. Let your spirit resonate with that truth. Let even the mysteries be deposited within you—the truth of your identity, the mysteries of your destiny.
Go wherever God takes you. Maybe you can dance with the Lover of your soul. Let Him romance you. Let Him sing the song of your life over you. Feel the rhythm, feel the frequency, feel the life that it activates within you.
Sons of Issachar 