We should weigh both what we feel and what we believe God has said. Does this align with love? If it does, we can wholeheartedly accept it. If it does not, then something has gone wrong in how we’ve understood it. In that case, we can take it back to the Father and ask why we misinterpreted it, recognising that often it is our own mindset that causes misunderstanding.
I had to do that many times when my experiences did not line up with what I thought to be true. When that happened, cognitive dissonance arose, and I was left with a choice: which should I trust—my experience, or my belief system? Over time I came to see that when my experience was aligned with love, that was what I needed to trust. And when it was not aligned with love, it was usually my interpretation of the experience that was the real issue.
We’re all in a process of having our minds renewed so that we won’t be moulded and shaped by the upbringing, conditioning and programming we’ve received. Our minds are renewed so we’re not pressed into that mould, but instead transformed into who He said we were from the beginning.
That process is relational. By experiencing Him, our minds are changed. We can’t make it happen by trying to use the Bible as a tool, since misunderstanding it was what created the problem in the first place. Our minds are changed when we let Him do it, as we submit ourselves to the relationship He gives us—always weighing everything with love as our measuring stick.
We should weigh the things that we feel and what we think God has said. We should weigh them. We shouldn’t just accept them carte blanche. We should weigh it.
What do we weigh it with? How do we measure it? I measure it with love. Is this loving? Is this going to help people experience God and experience His love? So I’m measuring it against that.
So I know that if I thought God told me to do something which was contradictory to love, I know it couldn’t be Him. And people say, but you’re now saying that God can’t do something! Yes, I am. He can’t contradict Himself as being love, and he wouldn’t ask us to contradict himself and contradict what love is either.
So whenever something we think God said is not aligned to true love – true unconditional love – then we’ve got to question it.
If you do not see the video above, please click here.
There are many questions we should be asking and signs we should be looking for. If God is doing something—like Enoch appearing or other unusual things—what is that about? I cannot give a hard, fast answer, but I do believe God is challenging us to think and to question what we believe. What are the foundations of our lives and the way we live? Are they kingdom foundations, or are they cultural?
If they are cultural and oppose God’s kingdom, which is love, then we must ask, where is my heart? Is it aligned with God’s heart, or with the culture where I live? I do not want to be known culturally as British. Yes, I was born in Britain, it is on my passport, but I do not want to be subject to the culture of Britain if it is anti-kingdom. I would never call myself a British Christian, or even a Christian. I just want to be seen as a follower of God, of the Father.
So, what might cause me to have views which may be contradictory to the kingdom? We need to ask: what has shaped my life, my thinking, my belief systems, my worldview? Are they aligned with God’s heart, or do they need deconstruction? I see three main areas where God is challenging people (there may be more): religious deconstruction, political deconstruction, and financial deconstruction. A friend of mine said God was taking him through those things, and I realised he was doing the same with me. I now know to look at things differently in those areas and make sure that I am not thinking in a cultural way that puts me into contradiction to God.
So, financially, my views have changed from religious rules about tithing to simply asking, “God, what do you want me to do?” Politically, I had to face assumptions about why I voted as I did. I had assumed God agreed with me, but he showed me I had never asked him. I had to be completely unravelled and deconstructed in that area. Now I ask, “Is there a way you want me to vote?” And if he says it does not matter, then I examine my own heart and motives. Each of us may have a different way of looking at that question.
God wants our whole mindset aligned with the kingdom and with one another, to become one mind, the mind of Christ. That requires major shifts, deconstruction, and honest questioning of why we think, believe and act as we do. Most people never really consider these things, but I believe it is part of the process God is taking us through so that heaven can be established on earth.
For the past ten years, God has been deconstructing most of my old assumptions. My thinking has changed in many areas. This does not mean there are simple answers, because each of us must discover what God is asking of us in our own sonship. But it does mean we must begin to make decisions based not on selfishness, economics or cultural conditioning, but on God’s heart.
Strong opinions are often shaped by culture rather than by God. Even in raising my children, I tried to let them think for themselves, yet they still reflected my political views. That made me wonder whether I had been more vocal than I thought. The key is not to pass on political perspectives but to help people find God’s heart.
Some people vote based on economics, others on compassion, but the real question is whether our choices reflect God’s heart or merely our conditioning. I am not convinced God is as invested in political systems as solutions as we might think. Much of the prophetic movement seems to have become politicised in a way it never was 20 years or so ago, perhaps out of disillusionment when promised revivals did not happen as expected. Whatever the reason, it seems to have become blind to the real issues in some way…
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God loves people and takes a genuine interest in their lives. If we fail to show any interest ourselves, how will they ever believe that God is truly interested in them? Demonstrating care means asking about their situation and engaging with their story. It is not about forcing a single message upon someone, insisting that they must receive it whether they want to or not.
Instead, it is about recognising that God personally meets each person in their own circumstances. He cares, He desires to help, and He longs for them to discover who they truly are. In doing so, they can understand that God already loves them. This is a very different approach, one that treats each individual as unique rather than as a commodity, project or statistic.
Meeting People Where They Are
In the past, many forms of evangelism tended to focus on strategies and techniques. Courses often emphasised how to deliver a message and how to ensure that people listened. Yet this approach often missed the point. Evangelism should not be about ticking boxes or securing conversions. It ought to begin with real interest in people themselves—the realities of their lives and the struggles they face.
Rather than asking, “How can I insert this message into a conversation?”, we should be asking, “How can I develop a genuine relationship with this person, one that may open the door for them to encounter God for themselves?”
A Personal Approach
People need to meet God in us. They need to see and sense something of Jesus expressed through our lives. This may not always be conscious on their part, and sometimes it may not even be conscious on ours, yet God shines through us all the same. In this way, we carry His presence into every encounter.
As Scripture explains, Jesus was the clear image of the Father, revealing to those around Him what God was really like. Many have no true idea of God’s character until they encounter Christ.
Treating Individuals as Unique
In the same way, we are called to be ambassadors of reconciliation. Our role is to represent God’s heart faithfully and to help others to see that He has already done everything needed to restore their relationship with Him.
Summary: When our lives reflect His presence, others can begin to sense His love and discover for themselves the truth of who they are in Him. By treating people as individuals rather than commodities, we embody the message that God cares deeply for them. Evangelism then becomes not about delivering a formulaic message, but about relationship, love and presence.
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We often make assumptions simply because we’ve never thought to question things, or even paused to ask, “Why am I doing this?” It’s so important to consider our motives. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t gather, worship, or take part in services—if that’s how they want to express themselves, that’s perfectly fine. But it’s worth asking ourselves and one another, “What’s at the heart of this? Why am I really doing it?”
A friend of mine, for instance, shared how God told her and her husband not to attend the Sunday meeting anymore. Her husband was delighted—he could use the time for other things—but she was horrified. Every time Sunday rolled around, she felt guilty for not going. It took her six months to work through that guilt. Guilt doesn’t come from God—it stemmed from her conditioning and an internalised mindset of what she thought she ‘should’ be doing. Once she processed those emotions, she found incredible freedom and began enjoying life outside of that obligation. She also found that her relationships changed: there were genuine friends who stuck by her whatever she did, and ‘church friends’ who were only present if she attended church. Real friends are those who stand by you through thick and thin, not just casual acquaintances from shared routines.
Whenever we feel compelled or would feel bad for not doing something, it’s worth asking ourselves: why? What is driving that feeling—guilt, compulsion, or freedom? God never wants us to be in bondage to something because we’ve assumed He desires it when it may not be His intent at all. Asking “Why am I doing this?” is always helpful, and I’ve had to do this myself many times. God has nudged me out of many such patterns. For example, a few years ago—around 2022—He told me to stop doing my annual Vision Destiny teaching series. The idea was that people should discover their own destinies with God and engage in their own conversations with Him, rather than relying on mine.
I realised that, even after stopping public teaching, I was still journaling out of habit. When I asked whether God wanted me to continue, He made it clear that it was up to me—He didn’t require it as a condition for our relationship. It was freeing to realise that my sense of duty was self-imposed, not divinely required. Eventually, I let go of journaling, and even changed how I approached my time with God in the mornings.
This shift wasn’t about having a better or worse relationship with God, just a different one. I learned that intimacy and union with God doesn’t depend on set routines or religious disciplines; it can be experienced just as deeply in everyday life, in the garden, the workshop, or wherever I am. Sometimes that connection comes through a conversation with God, but just as often it’s a felt sense of His presence throughout the day.
Since embracing this freedom and releasing the conditions I thought were required, my experience of God’s unconditional love has grown so much deeper. I realised that the expectations I thought God had of me were really just conditions I’d placed on myself. As I allowed those to fall away, I became freer, more connected, and filled with joy in everyday life, knowing that God’s love is unconditional and not dependent on any ritual or discipline.
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If you do not see the video entitled The Dark Cloud, Part 4. Breakthrough Day—From Grief to Glory, please click here.
The text below is a condensed version of the video content.
Wait expectantly
I got through November, December and January—but I was in a bad way emotionally. Then came February, and all I felt was: wait expectantly. This was the dark cloud again, but now with the sense that hope would return. Still, I was frustrated. Why wait? What for? When would something actually happen? I sensed—not in words, but inwardly—that I should fast for 20 or 21 days, and then breakthrough would come. That gave me something to hold on to, a flicker of hope.
So I started fasting. Eight days in, I poisoned myself with contaminated water. I had not cleaned out the water cooler properly. For five days after that, I could not even keep water down. I had already gone over a week without food, and now no sleep, no hydration. I was delirious. Physically, emotionally, I was running on empty. I did not do what I would advise anyone else to do. I did not call the elders; I did not ask for prayer; I did not go to the doctor. I just let it happen. I suppose I embraced it, though I did not really know why.
My soul had had enough by that point. I said to God, “I surrender”—just to make it stop. I did not mean it, and it did not stop; it intensified. For another two weeks or more, I was at the absolute end of myself. My soul gave up. It stopped asking. I had no more questions. I could finally be still—because I had no strength to be anything else. I could wait, I could rest, because I could do nothing else. I could not even think.
It was my ‘Garden of Gethsemane’, in a way. Every part of me—body, soul, mind, emotions, will—was spent. I got the faintest glimpse of what Jesus must have endured, though his was infinitely greater. He took on the lost identity of all of us. Every dark cloud, every wound, every bit of brokenness. He carried it all. That is how deep his love goes.
God reminded me of some scriptures—Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It felt like that. I was groaning and crying out, and God seemed miles away. But then, verse 24 says that he did not despise the suffering or hide his face. He heard. He heard me. He just knew I had to come to the end of myself.
Psalm 42 was another. “Why are you in despair, O my soul?” That was exactly how I felt—mentally exhausted, unable to focus, even to pray in tongues. I stopped trying. Emotionally I was wrecked. I started accusing God, and I received accusations—from myself, from the enemy. I felt I was a failure in every area: husband, father, leader, person. And I believed every word of it.
But God was using this. He was preparing me for what was ahead—for the criticism, the trolling, the accusations that would come. Nothing people might say could ever be worse than what I had already said to myself. Colossians 1:24 came to mind—Paul talks about rejoicing in his sufferings and filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions. Not adding to them, because we cannot—but joining in that unselfish love that undergirds all true ministry.
That is what God was working in me: love, joy and peace that does not come from anything external, but only from him. And I had not fully surrendered, so I was still going through it. But even that was his mercy, drawing me deeper into his love.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy them as ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Rejoice – Again I say, rejoice!
Rejoice in the Lord always—again I say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4).
It felt like I might just be getting there. I had no strength to give thanks, but something began to rise in me—not from my soul, but from my spirit. Hope started to return. 1 Peter 4:13 says, “To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing.” And something shifted. I began to rejoice. My attitude changed. Joy became strength.
And then came the shaking. Hebrews 12 talks about removing the things that can be shaken so only what cannot be shaken remains. That consuming fire—God’s presence—was burning everything up. And I chose to offer myself. I surrendered, even though I was burning inside and out. The fire of God’s love was testing what would remain. That was when I burned my ketubah—a contract I had written with 68 demands, all good things: to fulfil destiny, sonship, purpose. But it was my contract with God, not his. As I burned it, I felt each item die. And I grieved, deeply. Waves of loss rolled over me.
And then came the question: “Do you still love me?” If nothing I desired came to pass, would I still love God? Would I trust him, still rejoice, still believe he is good? Yes. My soul had finally surrendered. He searched and tested my heart—not to punish, but to purify. The pure in heart see God. That is what he wanted: face-to-face relationship.
I surrendered control. I no longer needed to know anything, see anything. If he never showed me another thing, I did not care. Could God trust me? That was the real issue—not what I could do for him, or him for me—but relationship. When I surrendered, he told me he trusted me. If he never did another thing for me, I would still love him. And if I never did anything for him again, he would still love me.
Those four months had been four phases: garden, dance floor, soaking room, dark cloud—be still, wait, rest, wait expectantly. They all turned out to be invitations by grace, but my soul had turned them into duties, burdens, performance. Until finally, I surrendered even my obedience. He freed me from needing to earn identity through duty. I saw that my redemptive gift is not what I do, but who I am.
And was it all worth it—just for relationship? Absolutely. It brought me to 2 Corinthians 7:16: I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you. That night, when I surrendered completely and found joy, he separated and reintegrated my soul and spirit. I could never have done that myself—only he, the living Word, could. Everything changed. My soul and spirit became quantum entangled, re-joined from the inside out.
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The next day, I woke up totally restored. No symptoms. Physically and emotionally whole. I sat in my chair and re-engaged heaven. But now I was free—untethered. Not stepping in and out, but abiding. My spirit stayed in the heavenly realms. My soul no longer anchored me to the earth. I live in dual realms, connected, unified. Everything the Father wanted to show me became accessible. From that day, my spirit has never left that realm. My soul became a channel for heaven to touch earth. Joined to the Lord, one spirit. The gateway opened.
Looking back now, I can honestly say—I rejoice. I celebrate what the Father did in me. It was awesome. I am so deeply grateful. He loved me enough to take me through that fire, through that pressure, through the darkest cloud I had ever experienced—because he knew what was on the other side. He wanted me to be free. He wanted me to know the depth of his unconditional love. He wanted me to experience limitless grace, triumphant mercy—not just know about them, but live from them. And I do. That is where I live from now.
So now, I want to encourage you—just open your heart. Just be willing. Ask Jesus to take you wherever he wants you to go. Do not try to control the outcome, do not try to shape the experience. Just say, “Yes, I am willing.” Maybe he will take you into the dark cloud. Maybe it will be something completely different. But whatever it is, if he is leading, you can trust it. Trust him. You might not understand it at the time, I certainly did not—but he knows what he is doing. And if you are willing to say to him, “I choose to embrace this path of transformation,” then say it. Tell him. But do not try to make anything happen. Let him lead. Desire it, yes—but do not create the agenda. That was the biggest lesson for me: only he can initiate it, only he can take you through it.
And really, that is where this whole series began—right back at the beginning: to experience first love, we have to abandon our soul into the trust of the God who loves us unconditionally. That is what he wanted me to get to. That was my journey. That was how I got out of the boat. And we all need to get out of that boat. The boat of survival. The boat where we think we are in control, where we try to make everything safe and understandable. We have to get out of that boat, and sink into the vast, endless ocean of unconditional love.
Because only there—only in that place of absolute surrender, trust and intimacy—can we truly experience what it means to walk with God, to know him, to be known by him. That is what he is after. That is what this whole thing is about. It is not about doing anything for him. It is not about fulfilling a calling, or achieving anything at all. It is about being with him, loving him, and letting him love us. That is the invitation. That is the transformation. That is first love.
Activation (full version).
I encourage you just to close your eyes. Get relaxed. You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
You may want to start by focusing on your breathing— breathe in slowly… hold it… and then breathe out slowly.
And as you are breathing in and breathing out, begin to focus your thinking on God the Father—who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, you are breathing in unconditional love— the love of the Father for you as a son, as a daughter, as a child.
Breathe it in. And as you breathe it in, that unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being— touching every cell of your body, your mind, your emotions, the whole of your soul, spirit and body.
Be still… and let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, let joy and peace come—overwhelm you, cocoon you. All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— a cocoon of love, joy and peace that you are simply resting in… relaxing in…
Be still. Wait. Just rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you right now— this is a safe place.
You can get out of that boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself— to sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love— where God’s love is so strong, so powerful, that you can trust Him.
He is a good God. He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love, as He restores that first love to you.
You can sink deeper… and deeper.
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper into that love.
You can stay in that place.
Maybe you want to get closer and more intimate with the Father— face to face with His presence.
You can fix your thoughts. Jesus wants to reveal the Father to you. The Holy Spirit wants to reveal Jesus to you. So they can reveal themselves to you— in intimacy.
Think about the Father meeting you. Fix your thoughts in your imagination. Picture a door in your spirit— and you can choose to open that door.
Invite the Father’s presence in— to hug you, to breathe His breath of life into you.
And as the Father embraces you in love, be open to wherever He wants to lead you— maybe to the soaking room, if that is where you are, maybe to the realms of heaven— where you can engage the judgment seat, or the altar of fire, or the river of fire.
Perhaps you want to take your scroll— to have it tested and purified by the consuming fire of His love.
Or maybe ask Him to take you into that dark cloud experience— if you are willing, if you feel the desires of your heart are set upon it.
Wherever the Father wants to lead you, just be willing to go— knowing that you can trust Him.
Because He loves you. He wants the best for you. He is a good God.
He wants you to truly know who He really is, so you can truly know who you really are— as a child of God.
Be open to wherever He takes you right now…
Feel free to stay in that place as long as you would like—a place of intimacy, a place of love, a place of rejoicing, where the joy and peace of God can just fill you and flood you.
God does not want to keep us at a distance. He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence—but that requires transformation.
Of course, Jesus wanted to share many things with His disciples, just as the Father desires to reveal amazing things to us. But we may not yet be ready to experience them. In John 16:12, Jesus said, “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.” That was certainly true for me. God wanted to reveal so much, and eventually He did, but at the time I simply could not bear it.
There is revelation, truth, and encounter available to us—but, like the disciples, we may not be ready. It is not because we are unworthy or not good enough, but because our minds need renewing. There are still things in our souls that need to be dealt with so that we learn to trust God—not based on what we see or understand—but simply because He is God. Our relationship with Him must be based on who He is, not on what He does for us, nor on what we do for Him.
Visiting or Dwelling?
God prepares us to dwell with Him in face-to-face intimacy—not just to visit from time to time. At one stage, I was visiting His presence. I was engaging with the realms of heaven, but I was not able to engage with His person—at least, not until I had been through this process.
My encounters in the dark cloud were preparing me for what was to come, though I was completely unaware of that at the time. I did not know what He was doing, or what He was going to do. I thought I had experienced everything there was to experience—how wrong I was!
Once, during one of those dark cloud encounters, I saw my destiny scroll. There was an event marked on it by a blue flame. The Father called it the eternal flame. I was deeply curious—why was I being shown this? At the time, I had no idea it would relate to what I was about to walk through. I saw my life flash before me, leading up to that moment within the flame. I just knew that nothing would ever be the same again. But I did not know what it meant, or how it would unfold. God was showing me something important, something intriguing—an invitation. And, as I sometimes say, Jehovah Sneaky knew I would not be able to resist.
He did not tell me what He was going to do—He simply invited me to engage the eternal flame for a life-changing experience. A friend of mine later painted a picture of someone in a blue flame. When I saw it, it resonated so strongly—it felt as though she had painted me, right there in the midst of that flame that had changed my life.
True Identity and Redemptive Gifts
As part of that process, the Father wanted to reveal my true identity to me—an identity closely linked to my redemptive gift. That redemptive gift is how the Father has wired me, as a son, to engage with the world around me and to mature into His fullness. It is how I see, perceive, and interact with life.
My true identity is connected to my redemptive gift, but it needed to be freed from the performance-based, soul-driven tendencies that had developed through my life experiences. Trauma, nurture, and upbringing can all shape how that gift functions—often making it impure.
In my case, I was using my redemptive gift to create and validate my identity. My redemptive gift is prophet–teacher. That is not the same as the spiritual gift of prophecy. This kind of “prophet” describes how I perceive and process the world. And I am almost equally prophet and teacher—every redemptive gift survey I have done reflects that. That is how God wired me to function as a son: curious about how things work, with the ability to explain them to others. That is probably why He chose me to be a forerunner in heavenly engagement—to open up that realm for others. Hopefully I can share my experiences in a way that is not too weird, so that people can see what is available to them too.
But I had gained my identity and security from the knowledge I received by doing that. I was using my soul to engage heaven—to see and know what the Father was doing, which in itself is good. But my soul would not allow my spirit to engage heaven on its own. Though we are seated in heavenly places, the consciousness of my soul was limiting my spirit’s ability to dwell and remain there. I was tethered to myself, and to the earth.
The Surrender of Self
So the essence of who I was, redemptively, was being used to create a false identity—and to bring me security and independence from my spirit. What I discovered was that me, myself, and I had to surrender. My soul and spirit had to be separated so that they could be reintegrated into oneness—spirit, soul, and body—joined and one with God. From His perspective, we are already one with Him.
As it says in 1 Corinthians 6:17,19-20: “But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”
This is what God desires: union so complete that we are one. But I could not experience that union—because my soul would not allow it. In my own understanding, I was alienated.
The Mirror Bible puts it beautifully: “In our union with Him, we are one spirit with the Lord. Do you not realise that your body, by design, is the sacred shrine of the Spirit of God echoing within you? You are not the sole owner of your life—you are bought and paid for. All of you is His. Live your life conscious of how irreplaceably priceless you are. You host God in your skin.”
Gifted by Design, Not Performance
God wants to free us from the need for our soul to find identity in works—what the Bible calls the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the path most of the world is on.
The purity of who we are redemptively must be tested and refined by fire. I believe our redemptive gifts will grow beyond just one or two, eventually reflecting all seven—to become more like Jesus. As the fruit of the Spirit matures in us, we will function more fully as sons—engaging not just in one way, but in every way.
The redemptive gifts listed in Romans 12:6–8 are prophet, servant, teacher, exhorter, giver, ruler, and mercy. These are not spiritual gifts for ministry. They are who we are. We are God’s gift to the world. The refining process reveals those gifts and frees us from the need to earn our identity through our own works. We can finally be who God intended—no longer performance-driven, trying to earn His favour.
That testing will look different for each of us. When I first studied redemptive gifts—through the teaching of Arthur Burk—I began to see how God uses testing to purify each one. When I taught on the ketubah in church, I warned people: If you go down this road, you will be tested.
I knew ruler-gift and servant-gift friends who had their ability to rule or serve removed—just like that. Then they had to face the question: Who am I without that? Who was I, without being able to see, understand, and teach?God was trying to show me: I am not who I am because of what I do, but because of who He made me to be. Even if I never did any of those things again, I would still be who I am.
A Restoration of Original Design
God took me through the dark cloud because He loves me.
He wanted to restore me to my original condition—so that I would know myself as He made me.
He wanted to bless me fully.
He wanted to reveal my heavenly identity and position as a son.
He wanted to release me into the fullness of sonship authority to engage creation.
But to do that, He had to do something quite drastic -it may be easier for you than it was for me.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Activation: Resting in Unconditional Love
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. You can relax your body.
Begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out… slowly.
And as you breathe in… and breathe out… Start to focus your thinking on God the Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you, As a son, As a daughter, As His child.
Breathe it in.
As you do, that unconditional love begins to flow Through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body, Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit, and body.
Let yourself be still, And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Joy and peace come— They overwhelm you, They cocoon you.
All of His being begins to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy, and peace.
You are just resting in it. Relaxing in it.
Be still. Wait. Rest. Wait expectantly.
Whatever God wants to do with you—right now— This is a safe place.
You can get out of the boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself, To sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful— You can trust Him.
He is a good God, And He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love As He restores first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper…
There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper… Into love.
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Where do we get our value from? Where do we get our identity from?
What I discovered on this journey of restored first love and identity was that I had been getting my value, worth and identity from what I was doing. And therefore, if I was not doing those things, I struggled with how I felt about myself.
Lessons from Hebrew Marriage
We have been exploring the restoration of first love through the lens of the six aspects of Hebrew marriage found in the Old Testament. God revealed to Israel that He desired a marriage relationship with them. However, they failed to accept that invitation. Instead, they set up their own system of Hebrew marriage, based on what they believed God had done—but something was missing: relationship.
It became a relationship based on contract, not covenant.
We looked at:
The Garden (Lakah) – God drawing us into intimacy and revealing His love
The Dance Floor (Segullah) – where He entwines with us, revealing our identity and destiny
The Mikveh – the soaking room of preparation and transformation, where He prepares us to come into His presence
The Ketubah – the covenant of relationship (which, in my case, I initially misunderstood and approached from the soul)
The Kiddushin – the betrothal, the dark cloud of surrender
The Huppah – the bridal chamber, the consummation of deeper union
False Identity
I was on a journey to have my first love identity revealed, which meant my false soul identity had to be exposed. I did not know who I truly was, and therefore, I was operating in the power of the soul. The soaking room began that process; the dark cloud completed it.
Today, I want to talk about that dark cloud experience—what led to it, how it unfolded, and how it changed everything. The Father’s goal was intimacy and union—symbolised by marriage and consummation in the bridal chamber—which would lead to a face-to-face experience of God’s person, far beyond experiencing His presence.
Into the Dark Cloud
I reached a point on my journey where the soaking and fire of preparation were drawing me towards the bridal chamber—to that consummation, to deeper intimacy, truth and knowledge than I had ever imagined. But first came the dark cloud of separation and reintegration of soul and spirit, which brought about total surrender of the soul. That was, without doubt, one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life—but also the most beneficial.
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Exposing the Thoughts and Intentions
This transformation revealed the need for that separation and reintegration. It exposed the thoughts and intentions of my heart, which were so soulish that I was shocked by my own reactions when God tested me. But He did it for my good, knowing that it was the only way to bring me into my true identity and reveal His true nature to me.
It was incredibly hard. The motives of my heart were mixed. Some of my intentions were shaped by the programming of wrong religious belief systems. Those flawed intentions were exposed when I attempted to make a ketubah—a marriage contract—with God, instead of entering into the new covenant that had already been prepared for me to be included in. The whole process had been flawed from the beginning, and it brought to light the root of my soulish motivations.
The Father used those stages to help me see the false perspective of the soul, in contrast with my true identity—created in His image and likeness, as a son. The flaws in my thoughts and intentions became apparent when I tried to make demands of God—rather than surrendering to relationship and trusting Him.
Contract vs Covenant
That is the problem with a contract—it does not rest on trust. A contract says, “If you do this, I will do that.” These are your demands; these are mine. And if one party fails to meet those conditions, that is seen as marital unfaithfulness and could bring the relationship to an end—because it was never based on trust.
That is what I discovered. I might have claimed I trusted God, and believed I did, but the truth was my relationship with Him was not built on trust. It was built on reward: being rewarded for what I was doing and drawing my identity from my works for God.
Now, none of the things I was doing were wrong in themselves—but I was doing them from the wrong motivation. I was driven by a need for self-validation. I found that I could trust God only when I understood what He was doing. If I did not understand, I could not trust. I did not realise that until He revealed it to me—and when He did, it absolutely shocked me.
Some of my intentions were definitely performance-driven, not pure.
The Nature of the Dark Cloud
My dark cloud experience will be different from yours. You might not go through the same darkness and inability to see that I did. Others have shared different stories of how God brought them to deeper relationship. But I do believe we all must experience a separation and reintegration of soul and spirit.
We are all born into this world with our souls shaped from the outside in. Everything we learned about ourselves, the world and even God came through our physical senses. Our soul interpreted that data and built a worldview, a belief system, based on upbringing, experience and, often, religious or educational systems.
God wanted to bring me—and wants to bring each of us—into the bridal chamber for consummation, into a face-to-face encounter with the Father’s person. For that to happen, He must reorient our inner being so that our relationship is led by the spirit and not the soul. It must move from spirit to soul, not the other way round—so that we can be joined to the Lord and become one spirit with Him.
The Season of Preparation
After a period of soaking and fire around August 2011, in which I had some profound soaking room experiences, then between August and October 2011, in times of corporate worship, I began to experience what felt like a thick, dark cloud. I did not understand what it was. I was not afraid—but I was confused and disoriented. What was going on? Why was I having these experiences? What was happening? I asked a lot of questions.
Why Would God Hide?
So I began to look into it—what are dark clouds all about? I started exploring the significance of dark clouds in Scripture, and what I found was that God hides within a dark cloud to protect us from the intensity of His presence before we are fully prepared and ready to meet Him face to face.
This is not God keeping us away—this is God protecting us, but also preparing us. He draws us into His presence by leading us through a dark cloud of trust. The question becomes: will I trust Him enough to go through that dark cloud to enter into His presence—or will I back off, be afraid, and run from the experience?
Israel’s Encounter
In Deuteronomy 4:11, we read about Israel’s experience:
“You came forward and stood at the foot of the mountain. The mountain was burning with fire to the heart of the heavens—darkness, cloud and thick gloom.”
Of course they were afraid. They had spent 400 years in Egypt, in bondage, with little to no real relationship with God. And when they came out of that, they carried so much of Egypt with them—control, manipulation and fear. So, when God invited them up the mountain to meet Him, they were afraid. They drew back, and they failed to accept that invitation.
The Glory in the Cloud
In 2 Samuel 22:12, it says:
He made darkness canopies around Him, massive waters, thick clouds of the sky.
And in 1 Kings 8:10,
When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the house of the Lord, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house.
Now, when we think of the glory of the Lord, we usually think of light—but actually, God had to protect them from the fullness of His glory, from the intensity of His essence, from the blinding light of His presence. Solomon understood this. In verse 12, he said,
“The Lord has said that He would dwell in the thick darkness.”
So Solomon recognised that this thick cloud was not hiding God out of reluctance, but protecting the people. Even in that cloud, they could not stand—the weight of God’s presence was too great. But within that dark cloud, when God came to occupy the Holy of Holies, He was actually shielding them from the light of His presence—until Jesus came to reveal the light as the Light of the World, to reveal the true nature of God.
All Mike’s books, including Into the Dark Cloud and Unconditional Love, are available to order from online and local booksellers; or you can buy the ebooks and download them instantly from our website.
More info at eg.freedomarc.org/books
Hidden in Mystery
Psalm 18:11 says, He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him, darkness of waters, thick clouds.
The Passion Translation renders it this way:
Wrapped in thick cloud-darkness, His thunder-tabernacle surrounded Him. He hid Himself in mystery-darkness. The dense rain clouds were His garments.
This is an invitation. God is calling us into that mystery—to see whether we will trust Him. Are we willing to go through the dark cloud in order to encounter His person?
Psalm 97:2: Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.
So why does God hide in a dark cloud? Because without it, He is unapproachable light. But He desires to prepare us so that we can approach Him in that light.
From Cloud to Light
Eventually, when I went into that light—having been prepared and having passed through the dark cloud—I could not remain there for even a fraction of a second. It was far too intense for me at that time, because the process of deconstruction and the renewal of my mind was still ongoing.
But I returned—and now I dwell in that approachable light. I dwell in the realm of light, in perfection. I abide there. It is my home, constantly, continually. And that was only possible because I went through the dark cloud. My soul and spirit were separated, then reintegrated. I was reconnected. And now, I can dwell in the realms of heaven continually.
Hidden Until We Are Ready
Interestingly, the Hebrew word for thick and dark is the same. It means that God is unseen or hidden from our direct sight—until we are ready, until we are prepared to meet Him face to face. And that is our destiny. That is the purpose of restoring first love. God does not want to keep us at a distance—but He wants us to be safe and secure in His presence. And that requires transformation.
Activation: Guided Meditation
I encourage you to just close your eyes. Get relaxed.
You may want to lie down. Just begin to relax your body.
You may want to start focusing on your breathing. Breathe in slowly… and hold it… Then breathe it out slowly.
And as you are breathing in and breathing out, Begin to focus your thinking on God, The Father, who is love.
As you begin to breathe in, You are breathing in unconditional love— The love of the Father for you As a son, as a daughter, as a child.
Breathe it in… And as you breathe it in, That unconditional love begins to flow through your whole being— Touching every cell of your body: Your mind, Your emotions, The whole of your soul, spirit and body.
So you can be still… And let God love on you. Let Him show you how much He loves you.
As His love fills you, Let joy and peace come and overwhelm you— Cocoon you. Let all of His being begin to flow in you. An atmosphere forms around you— A cocoon of love, joy and peace That you are just resting in, Relaxing in.
Be still. Wait. Just rest. Just wait—expectantly— For whatever God wants to do with you right now.
This is a safe place. You can get out of that boat—figuratively. You can choose to abandon yourself: Sink into that vast ocean of unconditional love, Where God’s love is so strong, so powerful, That you can trust Him— That He is a good God— That He wants the best for you.
Just go deeper and deeper into that love, As He restores that first love to you.
You can sink deeper… And deeper… There may be things around you that you sense or feel. Be willing to go deeper and deeper into love.
The Spirit of the Fear of the Lord led me to a waterfall so high that I could not see the bottom. I felt it was an invitation to go deeper. So, I stepped off. I took a step of faith and ended up gently floating down that waterfall. It was a wonderful experience, because I was again being soaked in love and in God’s voice—speaking words of affirmation over me—until I came down into a pool in the Father’s garden.
I entered that pool, and on the surface, it was very turbulent because of the waterfall pouring into it. I sank into the pool. I did not stop to think about it—I just sank. As I went down, I reached a point where I was suspended in the water, and it was as if grace and truth were swirling all around me, enveloping me. It felt as though something deep was happening in my life, although I was not fully aware of what it was.
Then I sank deeper. Again, I stopped—suspended—and other truths came around me and enveloped me. I went deeper and deeper, and each of these suspensions at different depths were stages I would later come to understand as steps of ascension into maturity. I was going through them, being prepared for the future. This was part of the process of coming into mature sonship.
It was an amazing experience. I can vividly remember it—the swirling energy, the life, wrapping round me and enveloping me—until I sank even deeper. Not to the very bottom exactly, but then I drifted off in a current that took me into a tunnel, right into the eternal perichoresis, the eternal now. That was the first time I had ever been there. A totally overwhelming experience. I could not stay there—my mind simply could not adapt to it—but it was wonderful. Again, it was preparation for what was to come.
So, God brought about such a transformation and such preparation for the future. It was wonderful.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “We are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” This is God’s desire—that he would transform us, change us, and bring us out of the wrong ways we may have thought about ourselves, so that we would carry the weight of the glory of our true identity.
And it is step by step by step. For me, it was a long process of change in order to display my glory. For all of us, there will be a process. I do not know how long it will take for you—as long as it takes. But we are to display our glory, because creation will be set free from its corruption and bondage into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
So, it is absolutely vital that we display our glory—not to puff ourselves up or become proud, but to simply be ourselves. Our glorious identity is the manifest presence of God on earth, as it is in heaven. In us, as his ambassadors, God displays himself. We are living epistles—living letters—representing him, demonstrating his love on earth as we have received it in heaven.
We can choose to embrace and pursue this process of change and become mature, or we can stay as babies, toddlers or infants—depending on what stage we are in—for as long as we choose. But I would encourage each of you: embrace the fire. Embrace the process. Do not hide from it—pursue it. Ask God to take you through whatever journey you need to be on, to bring you to the place where you really know the truth of who you are.
The truth of who we are
Our identity has been shaped by the realm we have lived in, and from the understanding we have received in the realm of our soul. That needs to be transformed so that the truth of who we are in the spirit can be revealed. This whole process gets us ready for the separation of soul and spirit, and their reintegration.
Hebrews 4:12–13 says, “For the Word of God—Jesus—is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do.”
God sees it all. Are we willing to see it as well? Are we willing to embrace this process, so that he can be living and active in our lives—dividing, judging the thoughts and intentions of our hearts?
The Mirror Bible puts it this way:
“The message God spoke to us in Christ is the most life-giving and dynamic influence in us, cutting like a surgeon’s scalpel, sharper than a soldier’s sword, piercing to the deepest core of human conscience.”
That is where it needs to go—to the dividing of soul and spirit—ending the dominance of the sense realm and its neutralising effect upon the human spirit, which suppresses our true identity.
In this way, a person’s spirit is freed to become the ruling influence again in the thoughts and intentions of their heart. So, we begin to take on our identity as sons, ruling in love—our thoughts and intentions motivated and directed by love.
The scrutiny of this Word detects every possible disease, discerning the body’s deepest secrets where joint and marrow meet. This is talking about going deep into our lives—to those hidden places—to reveal the truth of those places.
The moment we cease from our own efforts to justify ourselves—by yielding to the integrity of the message that announces the success of the cross—God’s Word is triggered into action. And that is what happens when we come to that point of surrender.
Unconditional Love – new book out now Mike Parsons’ new book, Unconditional Love, is out on 20 June 2025. Order it from your favourite local or online bookseller today, or get the ebook instantly from our website. More details at eg.freedomarc.org/books.
Ask yourself the question: are you living in, and have you experienced, the unconditional love of God? Has it transformed how you think about yourself and how you view God?
If it has not, embrace it again. Engage with it again. Ask God to reveal it to you, unveil it to you, show you the truth of who he really is. Because God wants to show you who he really is—so that you can really know who you really are.
Activation: Immersed in Unconditional Love
So I encourage you just to close your eyes.
Seek to come to a place of rest.
You may start to breathe more deeply, more slowly…
Think, and fix your heart and eyes and desires
upon experiencing God’s love— engaging first love.
Begin to breathe in…
deeply… and slowly…
And as you do, breathe in the love of God.
And hold that breath…
Let that breath—
and the love within it—
touch you deep within.
And breathe out slowly…
Breathe in…
and breathe out…
Breathe in deeply…
the unconditional love of the Father.
As you breathe it in,
just like oxygen gets absorbed by the lungs into the bloodstream,
let the unconditional love of God
begin to fill every part of your whole being…
Flowing through you…
And just be still
as God loves you
and loves on you.
This is a safe place,
cocooned within love.
You can make that choice
to abandon yourself to unconditional love…
sinking in the vast ocean of God’s love for you…
Deeper and deeper into love…
experiencing new levels of restored first love…
Sinking deeper and deeper into the truth
of who God is…
his unconditional love…
and who you are as his children…
Birthed in love,
created in love…
Vast sums of thoughts of love about you.
Feel free to stay in that place
as long as you want
Enjoying the joy of his presence—
and his unconditional love.
Unconditional Love – new book out now
Sons of Issachar 